A Hickory Ridge Christmas. Dana Corbit

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СКАЧАТЬ the candles in the sills of the other stained glass windows even hinted at how long it had been since he’d visited. Those things suggested that months and seasons had sped by, but that mammoth second building behind the church where a field had once been, announced the passing of years.

      The years scared him most of all.

      Now that he was twenty-two, maybe it was too late. Maybe it had always been too late, and he’d only been deceiving himself, balancing on a tenuous lie of hope. The messages contained in airmail letters marked Returned To Sender and in the clicks of hang-ups for international calls should have been enough to convince him, but he’d refused to take the hints.

      With his hand pressed on the door separating the vestibule from the sanctuary, he hesitated. His chest felt so tight that it ached to breathe. How could he move forward when it felt as if every moment of his life for half a decade had led him to this point?

      How could he not?

      Straightening his shoulders, he swung open the door and followed its path into the sanctuary. He slipped into the third pew from the back just as a music leader asked everyone to stand. Even as he turned pages in his hymnal, Todd couldn’t help scanning the sea of heads. Where was she? Would he recognize her now? Even though he had it on good authority that she still attended Hickory Ridge, it didn’t mean she wouldn’t be sick this morning or out of town for Thanksgiving weekend.

      Soon strains of “Just a Closer Walk With Thee” swirled around him, its lyrics celebrating the promise of God’s presence. Warmth spread inside him, relieving some of the tightness in his chest. It was just like his God to find a way to remind him He was there, even when Todd was too preoccupied to sing the words.

      As the song ended and the congregation sat, youth minister Andrew Westin stepped to the lectern. “Good morning, everyone, and welcome to Hickory Ridge. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.”

      Andrew’s gaze settled on Todd, and a smile pulled at his lips. Of course, Andrew had been expecting to see him there. Todd should have known that he hadn’t fooled anyone with his veiled questions when he’d called the church office a few days before. Especially not Andrew Westin. The Harley-riding youth minister never had struck Todd as any kind of fool.

      As if Andrew recognized the question in Todd’s eyes, he turned his head and directed his gaze toward a group of young adults sitting on the second pew. A couple of people on one end, a fancily dressed middle-aged woman on the other, and there she sat in the middle.

      Todd didn’t know if the world stopped turning or if time hiccuped, but for a few seconds or minutes, everything beyond her ceased to exist.

      Even from behind that crowd of blondes, brunettes and silver-haired ladies, he couldn’t imagine how he’d missed her before. He should have recognized that long, light blond ponytail anywhere, as it flowed down the back of her simple peach sweater. Hannah had often worn her hair just that way—smooth, neat and without fuss—and it was the feminine style he still found most attractive.

      A piano introduction pulled Todd from his daze, but he couldn’t wrap his thoughts around the words or the message of the second hymn. It shouldn’t have surprised him. He’d always had tunnel vision when it came to Hannah, and that apparently hadn’t changed. He couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t love her, and he couldn’t imagine a future when he would be able to or even want to stop.

      Around Hannah, Todd studied the group of young adults in her row and the one behind it, but none of them looked familiar. A tall, light-haired guy shared a hymnal with Hannah, but Todd couldn’t remember seeing him, either, during his handful of visits. A few people were paying attention to the hymn, anyway. Todd was far too busy craning his neck and trying to get a glimpse of Hannah’s face.

      When the song ended, Reverend Bob Woods, who had grayed the last few years and now wore glasses, stepped to the lectern. He scanned the congregation, hesitating only briefly when he reached Todd. The minister’s expression didn’t change, but his Adam’s apple bobbed. Guilt had Todd shifting in his seat.

      Just because Hannah’s father recognized him didn’t automatically mean she’d confided in him about humiliating past events. Todd hadn’t changed that much since they were next-door neighbors—at least, not on the outside. Anyway, it couldn’t make any difference what Reverend Bob or Andrew Westin or anyone else knew about mistakes they’d made when they were still teenagers. He was here to make amends no matter what.

      For a few seconds, the minister bowed his head as if in prayer, and then he looked up and smiled. “I’d like to add my welcome to Andrew’s. We’re so glad you’re here. Whether you’re longtime members or looking for a new church home, we’re setting out the welcome mat.”

      Todd blinked. The minister probably offered that same greeting every Sunday, but this invitation felt more personal than that. For the first time since he’d pulled his car into the church parking lot and prepared for his past to collide with his present, he felt his confidence returning.

      He did his best to focus on worship as Reverend Bob delivered a message on the birth of John the Baptist, that had taken place just prior to Jesus’s birth, but no matter how hard Todd tried, he couldn’t keep his attention from returning to Hannah. He’d waited so long to see her, had imagined this moment for what felt like forever, and here he was waiting again.

      Please give me patience, Lord, and give me the words to make things right. Amen.

      Hannah turned so that her lovely profile came into view. Her skin still looked as soft as he remembered, but the sprinkling of freckles across her nose appeared to have faded with time. Had her dimples, the tiny ones that only appeared when she really smiled, deepened as she’d entered her twenties? Did her eyes still crinkle at the corners when she laughed? Did those same eyes flood with tears whenever she spoke of her mother?

      She tilted her head, appearing engrossed in her father’s sermon. Todd hoped she’d had many reasons to smile and to laugh in the years since he’d left. More than anything, he wanted happiness for Hannah, who’d already known so much pain.

      If only he could have been a better friend to her, could have provided a strong shoulder and a listening ear, instead of allowing his comforting touch to become something more. No, he hadn’t been alone in that bed or alone in his decision to seek passion over purity, but he couldn’t help believing he was more responsible than she was. He’d known how fragile Hannah was even so many months after her mom’s death. Only one of them had been in any emotional state to put on the brakes in their relationship, and he’d ignored thoughts of sin and regret and gave into temptation anyway.

      He’d known a lot of regret since then.

      With effort, Todd set aside the emotions that threatened to distance him from his purpose. He glanced up at her again just as the congregation was singing the last chorus. The blond guy leaned close to Hannah and whispered something in her ear, and though she put her finger to her lips to hush him, her dimples appeared as she chuckled.

      Todd’s stomach tightened, and for the first time he gave the guy standing next to Hannah more than a passing glance. He’d worked so hard and had planned his return from overseas so carefully. Earning his engineering degree from Nanyang Technological University, targeting his job search to test engineering positions at General Motors Proving Grounds—everything—had been part of this long-term plan to work his way back to her.

      He’d thought he’d looked at every obstacle. Clearly, he’d missed a huge one by never considering that Hannah might have dated other guys or even have found someone special in the last five years. Any man would have been СКАЧАТЬ