Smoking Dead. S. Bonavida Ponce
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Название: Smoking Dead

Автор: S. Bonavida Ponce

Издательство: Tektime S.r.l.s.

Жанр: Зарубежное фэнтези

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isbn: 9788835432104

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СКАЧАТЬ was the point of burying people? What nausea has come over me.” C’mon Peter. Mortally boring I am. Besides, he hasn't looked at my tits once. What a nerve.”

      Interview with Clown President of the Top Section

      “Thank you so much for having us, Great Clown.”

      The Great Clown from Above had a huge smile. He wore a huge white, bulging pair of trousers that came big to him. To prevent him from dropping it, he had it securely fastened with red elastic straps, although to the misfortune of Peter and Corinne, the Great Clown was not wearing his usual red nose on that occasion, which he only wore in public.

      “Oh, oh, oh, boy, stop treating me with so much respect. I'm just a clown.”

      Corinne couldn't focus the lens well; she was very nervous. Her friends would die of envy when they knew she had met the Great Clown from Above.

      “Of course, sir,” Peter apologized.

      “Just call me, Clown Smith. We reserved the word ‘sir’ for the elderly.”

      “Of course, Clown Smith.”

      “Awesome. You want a lollipop?”

      Corinne accepted the great multicolored lollipop.

      “I remember the history classes where they put us in exciting documentaries. After the end of the great plague of smokers, the world got deserted. Only 25% of the population survived. The sectors with the most smokers were swept from the planet: lawyers, politicians, computer scientists, construction workers, taxi drivers and the unemployed. Curiously, within the circus sector, very healthy people, the clowns survived. They represented the lowest rate of smokers. After the great crisis, the clowns of the world joined forces and thanks to them we are still here.”

      “How would you define the replacement of the Clowns to the old rulers?”

      Sitting behind his table, a big smile was drawn on the face of the Great Clown from Above.

      “Oh, boy. Very simple, very simple, very simple. Look at that simple explanation, because clowns never say the ugly thing.”

      “And that's Clown Smith?” Peter knew the answer. Everyone knew it. They taught it in schools from an early age. It was repeated by all the clowns at their rallies. The clown-like mantra for excellence. Even so, being able to ask a great clown leader that question filled him with pride.

      “Very simple, boy. We never say what is not true.”

      “How could they get organized so quickly after the end of the great plague?”

      “Oh! Boy…” the great clown leader's smile was out of control. He threw three white balls into the air, and as he juggled them, he continued to speak. “Humanity was in crisis. For years, the old ruling caste, the Politicians had led the world to its own destruction. Always spitting out what is not true, and filling their pockets with other people's money. Fortunately, the great plague wiped them out. Then the clowns gathered. Accustomed to travelling from one continent to another, we held a great clown conference. They were hard moments that had to be overcome with a big smile. With the Politicians extinct, only we, the clowns, were left, the logical evolution to our previous leaders. And clowns do know how to make people laugh. And bring people together,” a big smile was drawn on the mouth of the Great Clown. “Oh yes, boy! Sooooo much simple. In a decade we do more work for humanity than all Politicians in a hundred years. We built schools, hospitals, we end wars, we end hatreds. We healed this world which seemed to be turning into a great cosmic dump. And we, the clowns, liked that very much. Do you know how we did it, boy, do you know that?”

      “Yes, Clown Smith. Never saying what's not true.”

      “Veeeeery simple. Very good boy. You've earned this lollipop.”

      The Great Clown from Above was euphoric.

      “Do you know what divided people, boy? The borders. They were nervous about them. They created disputes, fears, wars, stupid confrontations. And on top of that, for defending them, they forced people to say what is not true. Oooooh! What a scare. Oooooh! What a fear. Don't cross the imaginary line if don’t want to be hurt. That's why the great founding Clowns eliminated the old countries of the world and their borders. They created four large areas of a purely administrative nature. The Top Zone, the Bottom Zone, the Left Zone and the Right Zone. So, everything was much simpler and people could breathe easy.”

      “Fantastic Clown Smith, but how did you get so much in so little time?”

      “Oh, oh boy. Success only comes after a great effort. My grandfather, one of the great founding Clowns, helped create the Official Clown Circus. The only global entity that doesn't start with WF. You know, World Federation Plagues and other organizations with names in English, the old dead language. At the Official Clown Circus, ten long years of studies in Applied Clownology await all aspiring clown candidates. Within it we must study great disciplines: Ethics, Acrobatics, Smiles, Honesty, Courage, Moral... While we study all these hard subjects, we must travel halfway around the world doing practices. Making people laugh in more than five different languages is a complicated task. In addition, we must always be attentive to ‘Never say that which is not true’. And finally, after those ten years, if our teachers think we are worthy, a highly qualified committee, composed of more than one hundred children from all over the world, chooses the leading clowns. Everyone knows the motto: ‘Only someone as innocent as a child can wisely choose your leader’.”

      The Great Clown from Above stopped the juggling of red balls in his tracks.

      “Oh, oh, oh, I’m sorry boy, I must appear on stage. I have a matter to discuss with some clown representatives. Please stay in the front row. Both of you are invited.”

      “Thank you, Clown Smith.”

      “Thank you, Great Clown,” said Corinne with a barely imperceptible thread of voice.

      The Great Upper Clown went to his closet and put on a giant jacket with colored stripes. He sheathed himself in a giant red wig. And finally, he put on his round red nose. It was spectacular. Peter and Corinne followed him, and as he had promised, he sat them in the front row. Parliaments and courts had been replaced by circus tents. The opposition and the government discussed the affairs of the state by throwing pies in their faces, because according to the great clown leaders, it is better to undertake important things in a humorous way. The Great Clown Smith came out in the middle of the stage and with his big smile drawn in red he shouted:

      “How are you aaaaall?”

      The clown-like act had started, Peter, Corinne and the rest of the audience exploded with a Goooood!

      The great hero

      Peter drove the rented caravan under a scorching sun. The PPC van was in the workshop, a joint of tricky mechanical matters had broken down, forcing them to temporarily rent a vehicle. The new purchase had a thin sliding glass hood, which by order of Mrs. Corinne, was forbidden to cover, close or do anything that prevented the passage of the sacred sun through that place.

      “That way I'll get a wonderful tan,” she said with a big smile that illuminated her face, as she cheerfully put on her sunglasses.

      Peter, grumpy with so much sun, tried to think of something СКАЧАТЬ