Pigs In Paradise. Roger Maxson

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СКАЧАТЬ snorted, “Even his horns are small.”

      “Notice anything different today, Stanley?” Julius walked up along the fence post to the open gate. “I wouldn’t want to get his dander up if I were you. Nothing is keeping him from Blaise, Beatrice, or you, for that matter.” Julius alighted on Bruce’s hindquarters. Flapping his blue wings, he folded his golden under feathers behind him in a long plumage of tail. “If Bruce wants, Bruce gets. He’ll come over there and take Beatrice from you. If he wants, he’ll come over there and take you.”

      “He can try,” Stanley huffed, “but I’d be too fast for him anyway. End of story.”

      Bruce ignored Stanley mostly, watching him out the right side of his head. “Better move along little doggie,” he said.

      “Stanley, you and Bruce now have full access and your choice of co-habitators. That means nothing is keeping you from Beatrice except Beatrice.”

      “I know that.”

      “Run along, horsey, before you wear yourself out.”

      “Oh, might wear you out.” Stanley trotted off in a huff. “Wear out, huh? Wear you out, you mean,” Stanley said from a safe distance. He saw Beatrice near the pond. She was in the same pasture as him. He ran up alongside her.

      “Why don’t you leave the poor beast alone,” Beatrice said.

      “What? Oh that, nonsense. We’re friends, just a little male rivalry.”

      Julius stretched, flapping his blue-and-gold wings over Bruce’s hindquarters. “This has got to be the finest rump roast I’ve seen. I’d be careful where you shake that thing. The neighbors might covet it.”

      Stanley and Beatrice grazed in the same pasture. Beatrice grazed. Stanley paraded about, showing off his prowess to the roar of the crowd. “Look, Beatrice, the moshavnik opened the gate so we could be together. So, let’s get together. It’s only natural. It’s something we’re supposed to do. Listen, baby, look what you’ve done to me. I can’t walk or think straight with this club foot. It hurts when I do this.” He reared back onto his massive hind legs to wild applause.

      “You, foolish horse,” she said and walked away.

      “Baby, please, you don’t understand. We have an audience, fans we can’t let down. They’re here for me–you, us, for us.”

      Beatrice, exasperated, stopped. “Would you do me a favor?”

      “What is it? Anything for you, baby.”

      “Would you please please please please please please please stop talking?”

      “Someone might have a camera for just this sort of thing, you know. You know, I could be famous, a star! Come on, Beatrice, don’t be shy, please. Please, Beatrice, wait.”

      Beatrice stopped.

      “What? What did I say?”

      “I’m sure whoever has the camera would gladly get you a girl too. I understand in certain communities, probably this one included, some people like just that sort of thing.”

      “Well, yeah, if she’s in a habit.”

      Beatrice turned and walked away. “These people aren’t here for that though. They’re here for me–you, us, I mean.” She went into the next pasture to graze alongside Blaise.

      Blaise said, “How do you do?”

      “I do fine. Thank you for asking.”

      Julius alighted in the branches of the great olive tree where the ravens Ezekiel and Dave were. Along the slopes, a herd of lesser and younger animals grazed along the second-tiered slope of the terraced landscape. Blaise and Beatrice grazed nearby as ducks and geese swam and bathed in the pond near the barn lot as pigs lounged along its muddy banks in the mid-morning sun. Julius moved through the olive tree along one of the lower hanging branches.

      “I interrupt this program to bring you the following announcement.”

      “Wait,” cried a piglet. “What is it this time, the earth’s round?” He pealed with laughter and rolled in the dirt.

      A gaggle of geese gabbed as usual, “The earth’s flat and that’s that.” And with that, the knowledgeable hens turned and waddled off, their heads held high on slender necks.

      “I crack those eggs up every time.”

      “I know,” said a young sheep, but a lamb. “The earth’s round and more than 6000 years old!” The lambs joined the pigs with laughter.

      “For such a little lamb that wolf has teeth.”

      Without Molly and Praline to keep the young sheep on the correct course of inquiry, this was what was had, sheep influenced by pigs.

      “The sun is the center of the universe and the big, round earth rotates around the sun! Is that it?” a duck quacked.

      “Well, since you put it that way, yes.”

      Dave’s feathers were ruffled. He shook his head. He turned to Ezekiel and said, “Give them something to think with and this is what you get.”

      “Ignore these animals, Julius,” Blaise said. “What is the announcement you wish to make?”

      “Pete Seeger is my hero. Where I come from, he was everyone’s hero until they turned orthodox and emigrated to Brooklyn.”

      “And I suppose you’d like a hammer?”

      “And, yes, I suppose I would.”

      “You’re a bird,” Beatrice said, “a parrot. What can you do with a hammer?”

      “I have claws, and I’m not afraid to use them. I use paintbrushes, don’t I?”

      “How would anyone know what you do with them? No one’s seen anything you do.”

      “I’m shy, a work in progress.”

      “Julius, what would you do if you had a hammer, a smallish hammer if you like?”

      “Blaise, ‘if I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning. I’d hammer in the evening, all over this land. I’d hammer out warning. I’d hammer out danger. I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters, all over this land.’ If only I had a hammer?”

      “Well, will someone please get this busy macaw a hammer?”

      “We’re animals. How can we get him a hammer?”

      “Where are those ravens when you need them?” Julius said. “Oh, there you are. Never mind, I don’t need a hammer.” Julius left the tree branch and perched on Blaise’s left shoulder, near her ear. “Although he may not show it, not like Stanley anyway, Bruce has great desire. He’s fond of you. You’ll see,” Julius said and winked. Blaise was unable to see him wink. She didn’t need to. She knew from the inflection in his voice.

      “What are you, СКАЧАТЬ