NLP Radio. The most efficient NLP tools. Part 2. Александр Рудольфович Герасимов

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      Hello, Olga. Hello, everybody.

      Today we continue talking about metaprograms. Last time

      we discussed motivation “to” and “from” and today we continue

      talking it over. We will highlight reflective and active types of people.

      Would you introduce it, Alexander, what is this?

      Those are our certain character traits. As you know, there are people who cannot sit idle, they are super-active, proactive, and so on… who first do something and then think about it… and there are people, who first think… Measure Twice, Cut Once… there is such proverb…

      meaning that such people first weigh everything, calculate everything, and only then… slowly but steadily… they commence, for example, achieving a goal…

      We didn’t know, that that was called metaprograms. Okay.

      So, how do we identify it in people actually? We are watching

      them. We observe them, of course. But are there any tests

      to understand it?

      Unlike the FROM/TOWARDS metaprogram we discussed in our previous podcast… everything is a little bit simpler in this case… more noticeable… A person having ACTIVE metaprogram literally cannot sit idle… Such person starts talking even before you have finished… they can easily interrupt you when you speak… for example… such person types messages faster… for example, you have just sent a message to such person, and they have immediately replied… such person… as soon as a decision is made… jumps up and starts implementing it… or

      even starts doing something before a final decision is made… I often see this picture at trainings, when I explain an exercise… there are people, who immediately jump up and commence doing it… and there are reflective people… it is critical to them to ask all questions, to take everything possible into consideration… to think, to look around, to weigh everything… sometimes to note down… to take into account some other nuances… to ask questions once again… and keep sitting, contemplating… philosophizing… Not that it’s critical to them to avoid doing something… they also do… but they need certain preparation… when they do something, they do it one step at a time.

      Okay. Very interesting to find out. What makes people such? What

      kind of circumstances make us active or reflective? What should

      happen in childhood, that a child grows up reflective or active?

      In this case, in early childhood… the parenting style plays a significant role… Basically, all children are rather active… You can see that, for example, observing children playing outdoors at a kindergarten…

      where they permanently moving somewhere, doing something…

      But you surely can imagine how a kid is gradually growing up… and he or she is told, “Where are you constantly hasting to?”, “Why are you always grasping everything?”, “Sit, and think it over!”, “Calculate!”…

      and it gradually gets integrated… and if a family is, for example, accustomed to slow heart-to-heart talks… some philosophical speculations… or – parents’ occupations are not related to physical activities… subsequently, such person starts slowing down… realizing that thinking is more beneficial… Besides, it often happens that a person… their pro-activeness is to their detriment… for example, a person makes a decision unthinkingly… for example, with regard to investments… if we are talking about adults… runs somewhere, writes something, or says something… and then gets punished for that… and gets feedback as follows, “If you were not in so much of a hurry, and if you had calculated and weighed everything, that wouldn’t happen!” … And later, in a similar situation, – it really is an imprint, – … in a similar situation, such person asks him- or herself, “Why am I in a hurry?”… and comes to a conclusion, ‘I’d

      better take everything into consideration, I’d better listen to experts’

      opinion, I’d better think about potential results,’ … and gradually such person begins to slow down… but it is also critical to keep in mind that basically… the context matters.. because, for example, a person may be rather active while communicating with their friends, and reflective, for example, at work, dealing with customers…

      It is surprising what you have said, because I thought that

      physiology was very strong. I thought, that physiology was

      stronger than upbringing of parents. And I actually thought, that

      it was impossible to slow down human nature.

      Yes, sure. Parents feel comfortable then their child has the same rhythm of life as they do. But not all parents are able to slow down a person… to slow down their child… to their level.

      I’d like to add that… Yes, indeed. We understand that our environment has a strong influence on us… for example… a person leaves the country and moves to a noisy and quick city… it is an external factor… and then a person has to make a difficult choice… either to adapt to the crazy rhythm of the city, or… having failed… to get back… well, surely there are some optimal, intermediate variants… something else…

      it is an extreme example… I notice, based on my own experience…

      I travel a lot… when I – with my already integrated pro-activeness – arrive in a small town, and begin to list something off pretty rapidly, to talk about something, I feel… and see – judging by people’s reaction – that I’d better pause between words… or slow down sometimes… or ask them if everything is clear to them… for example… and I understand that if I stay at that town… for example, for a week… I will slow down…

      and I will then need to adapt to the rhythm of the city when I am back to Moscow… so, circumstances do have effect… So, the older we get, the more flexible we are… and the easier we can adapt…

      while you have to make rather serious efforts to calm down a kid, and parents sometimes fail to do it… an older person has a more conscious attitude… and understands that… well, let us ask those driving a car a question – imagine a traffic flow moving at a certain pace… it doesn’t matter, 40 km/h, or 20 km/h… if it is a traffic jam… or 90 km/h, out in the country… so, at what speed should you drive your

      car? The answer is – at the speed of the traffic flow. And there is no…

      if you drive faster, there are certain requirements for your driving…

      if you drive slower… you will hear horns sounding, and other drivers will be cutting in front of you… it may happen…

      Okay. These metaprograms, active and reflective,… how else can

      we call it? How can we paraphrase it? What are these: not filters,

      but characteristics? СКАЧАТЬ