How to be a Good Veronica. Michael K Freundt

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СКАЧАТЬ always here. You can just drop in, you know.” Veronica knew that that was exactly what she couldn’t do: Why didn’t you call? You think I’m just sitting here waiting for you to drop in?

      “My life is run by appointments. You taught me that.”

      “Yes, I suppose I did,” says her mother with a sigh.

      “See you at two then. Bye.” She put her mobile back in her bag. She had to stop for a moment and adjust her gait: she was walking too fast and with steps that loudly proclaimed indignation, or was it exoneration? Mothers! Anyway, by now she was walking along the street to a small cafe called Flora where Diane was waiting for her and she quickly forgot about her mother and Diane took her place.

      3

      She slowed as she could see Diane up ahead, sitting at one of Flora’s footpath tables. The woman was unaware of her approach. Diane was a little younger, 31, but looked a little older, she thought. Veronica was worried about her: she was very thin and a lack of meat on her bones was taking its toll on her face. She was also one of those women who dressed and cared for themselves in a style that had passed: she had followed fashionable trends like the rest of her contemporaries but at some point it was as if she decided that ‘now’ she looked the best she would ever look and so ‘this’ was the look she would forever have. The trouble was the ‘now’ happened seven years ago when pony tails and big patterned skirts had a brief revival (she was so pleased about this at the time) but the fad had gone as quickly as it had come, and in some fashionable circles it hadn’t come at all. But Diane’s look was now set in aspic and made all the more un-reformable by one of Diane’s clients forever complimenting her on her sense of individualism. And that’s another thing: Veronica knew what they were going to talk about: Mr. Swan, Diane’s long-time client and the connoisseur of her stylish, put passé sense of self. Their chats were always about Mr. Swan and if they began about something else they soon turned to Mr. Swan, his problems, idiosyncrasies, and what Diane should do about them. Diane was a person Veronica cared about; they shared a history and for a brief moment Veronica wondered if Diane, or someone, cared about her?

      “Hi there!”

      “Oh, Veronica,” whined Diane expectantly as if she had done something very naughty but very nice.

      “What is it now?” said Veronica more impatiently than Diane deserved, as she sat down and hung her bag over the back of her seat.

      “Oh, is it that obvious?”

      “You look as if that demon cat of yours has finally died.”

      “Oh, I wish it would! It’s turned completely psychotic. Lies in wait for me as I exit the bathroom and pounces on my ankles with its teeth. I’m living with a terrorist! But, no, it’s not dead and if my face gave you that impression it’s only wishful thinking. No, it’s more about what’s going to happen.”

      “So what’s Mr. Swan done now?” asked Veronica with a smile that was a little more cynical than she planned. Diane has that affect on her.

      “Don’t be so judgemental, Veronica. It’s not what he’s done; it’s what he wants to do.”

      “Which is?” asked Veronica after it was clear that Diane wanted her reply to have its greatest affect and wanted an appropriate prompt.

      “He wants to make an honest woman of me.”

      Veronica didn’t quite know how to hold her face. Diane wore a little naughty smile; an ‘aren’t I lucky’ smile but her words seemed misplaced. Diane had obviously rehearsed this line and decided to use it even if it was a little inappropriate, or was it?

      “He wants to marry you?” Veronica asked hoping she had got it wrong.

      “Don’t be silly, Veronica. He already has a wife and he certainly doesn’t want, can’t, have, two.”

      “I was merely reacting to your ‘cats-got-the-cream’ little smirk on your face.”

      “That was a look of contented surprise. He doesn’t want me to work anymore. He wants me all to himself.”

      “Oh, I see. He only wants you to work for him.”

      “What a cynic,” and her cheeky smile disappeared. “You don’t understand,” she said like a small child whose wishes have been refused.

      “I understand entirely. He’s going to put you up in a little flat, at a convenient distance, and at a price and decor of his choosing, and he’s going to be your only client.”

      “I was happy about this until you came along.”

      “Diane. Listen. Do this, if you want, by all means, but for god’s sake see it for what it is and not for what it isn’t.”

      Diane, with bowed head, played with the clasp on her watch. “I’m only thinking of the future.” And with a piercing look and a little venom in her voice asked, “Don’t you ever think of the future?”

      I think of the fucking future all the time . “Sometimes. Of course.”

      “Like what? Tell me! Like what, Veronica? What do you want?” Diane’s voice was challenging, sharp; her gaze interrogative, accusative, and new.

      “I want a skinny latte and a vanilla slice,” said Veronica to the hovering waiter, but aware that her tone was meant for Diane and so softened it with a smile and a “please”.

      “Certainly,” said the water. “And what would you like?” he said turning to Diane.

      “I’ll have the same, except.. no no.. just, just the skinny latte. Thank you.”

      “Fine. Two skinny lattes and only one vanilla slice.” He paused as if expected a change of mind, but none came. “Won’t be long.” And he was gone.

      For a moment the two women held each other’s gaze. This was one of those moments when Veronica thought about gazing into her own eyes, into her own reflection, in her own mirror; into her own life. She was the first to look away.

      Diane lent across the table at her, her face and voice now soft and calm. “Veronica, I am going to do this because I want to do this. He’s a nice man and he’s nice, very nice, to me and I believe him, well, not everything, he is a man after all, but I believe most of what he says to me and, especially, how he feels about me. And before you interrupt me, I’m fully aware that changed conditions may lead to changes in all of what I’ve just said. When change happens who knows what happens next. I’ve got the balls to do this, they’re just not crystal ones.” Diane reclined back in her chair and smirked at Veronica. “Mr. Swan said that. And a man swearing on a bible is one thing, but swearing on his balls is something entirely different. What’s a girl to think?”

      Veronica didn’t know what to say. Another one of Diane’s rehearsed lines courtesy of Mr. Swan. She just mirrored Diane’s smirk.

      Diane lent forward again. “But you know what, Veronica? The best part is that I’ve made a decision about my future and no matter what you may think about that decision, it’s a decision. About my future.” And then her tone dropped even lower. “So when are you going to make a decision about your future?”

      “Here СКАЧАТЬ