Mentoring Minutes. Robin Cox

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СКАЧАТЬ persuasion, there is compulsion, and there is attraction. You can’t preach at them. That is a hook without worms. You can say, “You must volunteer,” and that is of the devil, and you can tell them, “You are needed,” and that appeal hardly ever fails.”

      Mentoring tip: When your mentees feel they are valued and worth your time and effort, you are most likely to connect.

      Day 4: Adolescents know their lives have meaning and purpose

      What do researchers mean when they state that adolescents want to know that life has meaning and purpose?

      •Adolescents can take ownership of the fact that their lives have significance.

      •The more adolescents understand that there is a reason for their existence, the more significant they feel.

      •Adolescents value encouragement to explore opportunities within and outside of school or the workplace, to learn and develop new skills and interests. This is especially important as their brains develop.

      •Adolescents are encouraged to acquire a commitment to learning: academic success and the long-term value of learning enhance their self-worth as they discover their gifts and talents.

      •Adolescents can appreciate and understand how to make tough decisions and choices, and how to cope with new situations.

      •Adolescents require guidance to develop a positive view of the future.

      Mentors strive to build their mentees up, encourage, correct, and stretch them.

      Mentors never hesitate to make themselves vulnerable with their mentees, and do their best to live and model sound morals and values.

      Mentoring tip: Positively influence your mentee, and serve as a role model, and wise advocate.

      Mentoring moments

      I was diagnosed with cancer aged nine. During the next two years I underwent two major operations and months of radiotherapy, receiving twice the adult dose. In his journal, my father described me as “dangerously ill.”

      Peter Le Mesurier was my junior school teacher and sport coach. He wrote to my father before my first major operation to wish me well.

      Many months later I was desperate to follow my passion and return to the sport fields. Peter understood my situation, protected me from danger, nurtured, coached, and inspired me to become a better player within a collaborative team environment.

      Peter was a man of few words. However, he was a significant adult role model in my young life. He remained interested in my school and professional career until his death at an old age. Peter sowed the seeds of the spirit of mentoring in the life of a young boy desperately trying to find his way. I am indebted to his unconditional care and encouragement displayed to me throughout my life.

      Mentoring tip: Significant adults in the lives of youth help them cross the bridge of personal growth from child to young adult in a safe and secure environment.

      7. Rhodes, Stand by Me.

      Week 2

      Different mentoring roles

      Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius in each.

      —Plato

      Day 1: Mentoring journey

      Here are a few thoughts about what mentors can do in non-threatening ways to make sure that their mentee always feels safe and secure in their presence.

      •Find out if your mentee has a pet. Share thoughts about which animals fascinate you. Take a walk around the local zoo if this is a practical option.

      •If appropriate, go and pick strawberries (or another seasonal fruit) together. Encourage your mentee to bring a friend along.

      •Show your mentee the website of your current, or former workplace (where applicable).

      •Attend a local sports game or cultural event together.

      •Make a genuine effort to understand your mentee’s social structures if your mentoring relationship is cross-cultural.

      •Broaden your mentee’s knowledge and provide opportunities to explore new situations, places, and cultures.

      Finally, a valuable tip, and one that is often overlooked by mentors, is to make brief notes when you arrive home after a meeting with your mentee. This is a way to prepare for your next meeting, and improves the early challenge of making a positive connection. Consider questions like these: What have you talked about? What concerns has your mentee expressed? What special achievements has your mentee shared with you? What progress can you see in your mentee’s personal development journey? What strengths does your mentee display? How are your mentee’s friends or parents influencing them? Which are the most important (or influential) relationships in your mentee’s life?

      Mentoring tip: Celebrate your mentors and share your mentoring experiences with your mentee at every opportunity—powerful coaching.

      Day 2: Mentoring research

      Significant youth mentoring research has been carried out over the past thirty to forty years. The jury is still out on the effectiveness of different youth mentoring programs—community programs, school-based programs, programs for youth from high-risk environments, or with significant mental health issues.

      Most of the credible research has been undertaken in America and Canada where youth mentoring is decades ahead of other countries. However, what I discovered when I visited twenty-two youth mentoring programs in these two countries on a Churchill Fellowship a few years ago, was that many programs offered fairly average mentor training to prepare their volunteer mentors for the mentoring journey.

      Training is significant for mentors of adolescents to understand the world of youth—the different environments in which they live, how vulnerable they are, what makes them tick, how the brain develops, as well as explore effective strategies which lead to positive outcomes at the conclusion of a mentoring journey.

      Research highlights how important it is for young people to experience a variety of challenges, and to have access to safe places with a network of caring and supportive people around them.

Well-known youth mentoring expert and researcher Professor Jean Rhodes8 has pointed out that once mentors and mentees have established an emotional bond—a key step in the mentoring journey—the mentors influence their mentees in three important ways.

      1.Mentors enhance a mentee’s social skills and emotional wellbeing.

      2.Mentors improve the cognitive skills of mentees through listening and effective communication.

      3.Mentors serve as a role model, and an advocate for their mentee.

      Mentoring tip: Never forget that you have something important to offer your mentee, which includes when and how to share life experiences.

      Day СКАЧАТЬ