What 'Isa ibn Hisham Told Us. Muhammad al-Muwaylihi

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      Miṣbāḥ al-sharq 40, January 19, 1899

       6.1

      ʿĪsā ibn Hishām told us: I heard a story about a minister concerned with the topic that is on everyone’s mind at the moment. This happened when a newspaper reporter came to see him to try to get the benefit of his enlightened views and learn some accurate information about the new government in the Sudan. Because it seems to me so remarkable, I’ve decided to relay it to our readers immediately before we go back to the story of the Pāshā and his trial.

       6.2

      The Reporter said: I inquired when the Minister of War would have some free time from all his responsibilities. They told me that he was too busy carrying out his ministerial duties, but they also went to great lengths to explain how stubborn and secretive he was; he excelled at saying nothing. Many newspaper reporters like myself had tried in vain and had left frustrated and disappointed. However, I paid no attention to these statements and ignored their advice. I reminded myself that he might be reluctant to meet newspaper owners through fear of their criticisms; as a result he would regularly refuse to help them or give them information. On the other hand, any reporter who pretended to praise him to the very heavens as a way of offering him support against bitter critics, thus playing the role of a genuinely loyal helper in the face of slanderous falsehoods, would find that the minister had no cause to hide his innermost feelings and secret thoughts or offer the usual excuses. After all, people love making excuses for themselves, whatever they happen to be doing.

       6.3

      So I headed for the Ministry and asked for an audience with the Minister. The curtains were pulled back for me, and I went in. He was standing towards the door in welcome, lighting the fire to keep warm in the winter cold:

      Approaching him, you glow in the warmth of his blazing fire;

      there you find the best of fires, and to tend it, the finest kindler.⁴⁸

      I stood where I was. He seemed completely distracted and did not even notice me. I watched as he gestured with his hands and stamped on the ground, then started banging his head and mumbling to himself about his sorry plight. In front of him was a long spear and gleaming sword while by his side was a coat and rosary. He spoke in a hoarse voice:

       6.4

      MINISTER (talking to himself) How futile are people’s dreams, how erroneous their understanding! They keep watching me closely, hatching all kinds of plots, all in order to have me relieved of my post so they can step into it themselves. If only the silly fools knew the things I have to tolerate and suffer through! We spend the whole day being despised and looked down on, and then worry all through the night. They should feel pity and sympathy rather than envy and hatred!

      He who envies a poor wretch his livelihood is himself despicable;

      Death itself is less burdensome than many a life.⁴⁹

      The Sudan has been conquered in my name, subjugated by the Egyptian army under my authority. Now, everyone’s earned their laurels and come home victorious. However, I’m out of luck. Everyone but me has their share of booty, a portion of the prizes and gifts:

      To East and West, a full moon has lit up the earth;

      but the place where my foot has stepped is as black as pitch.⁵⁰

       6.5

      Kitchener has been given the title of Lord, and twenty-five thousand pounds to boot, not to mention an embossed sword. He’s gained the kind of fame and prestige that he would never have dreamed of in his entire life. Lord Cromer has been made a Viscount, and Buṭrus Pāshā a Knight—and there’s obviously a world of difference between the Foreign Ministry and the Ministry of War! Wingate has been promoted to Major-General after ten years of waiting, and Colonel Rhodes has been allowed the privilege of returning to the ranks of the British army after being cashiered for Wingate’s campaign in the Transvaal. Zubayr has the reward of seeing his sons going back to the Sudan as amirs after being thwarted for so long. Hunter has got the Second Class ʿUthmānī decoration and Griffith the Third Majīdī. All their officer colleagues have been decorated, and Omdurman has been open to the Sudanese soldiery for three full days. Everyone who participated in the conquest has got two months’ pay as a reward and those who didn’t got one month’s, right down to the military draft councils in the various provinces. But even though the Minister of War, the head of this splendid army, is in charge and signs the documents, he has no share in this bounty. All he can do is to repeat these lines of poetry:

      Is it not incredible that someone in my position

      watches as his inferiors stay aloof from him?

      In his name the whole world is being subdued,

      and yet none of it comes into his hands.⁵¹

       6.6

      I seek God’s forgiveness! This weapon and these clothes they’ve given me as reward constitute my entire share in the spoils of victory, with all its glory and honor. They’re the kind of thing that the Mahdī would previously give to those people whom he was encouraging to follow the path of true guidance and avoid temptation. This is all the reward I get for assuming so much responsibility and enduring so much blame and criticism. My foes have even accused me of neglecting my job, going against the canons of patriotism and disregarding the people’s interests.

       6.7

      The Reporter went on to say: The Minister became quite upset and started sobbing. He quoted al-Mutanabbī’s line to himself:

      What have I ever got from the world? Most incredible of all

      is that people envy me for something which makes me weep.⁵²

      I felt sorry for him so I coughed. The Minister turned towards the door with a jump. I went over to him and offered my greetings. He asked me how long I had been standing there; I hedged and gave an ambiguous answer so that he would think I had not been eavesdropping on him and not seen him sobbing. When he accepted that, he sat down in a chair which was an imitation of one in the English War Ministry and chewed a Havana cigar like the one the American general Miles had in his mouth when he entered that city. He put one foot on top of the other, brought the seal of office out of his pocket and started fiddling with it. He began counting his fingers and sifting papers on his desk in the pretence of being busy. All the while, he kept sneaking glances in my direction. After carrying on like this for some time, he asked me what I wanted. I responded as follows:

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