Christmas At Willowmere. Abigail Gordon

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      Unlike Glenn’s childhood, hers had been magical. She’d been surrounded by love and whenever she’d mentioned it he’d said, ‘That is how it’s going to be for our children. They won’t have to listen to endless rows and feel lost and bewildered all the time like I did when I was a kid.’

      She’d nodded her agreement, happy and secure in their love for each other and having no idea that the fates had some ideas of their own regarding that, and now she felt like pinching herself to see if she was awake. She was meeting Glenn at The Pheasant in a few hours’ time, something that she would have thought as likely as the sun falling out of the sky.

      ‘You may not find the pub very exciting,’ she warned as she opened the car door. ‘It’s usually village affairs being discussed on a winter night. On a summer evening it’s a different matter. The place is full of walkers and tourists and the regulars don’t get a look-in.’

      ‘Whatever it is like, I shall enjoy it,’ he told her, ready to depart. ‘I’ll say goodbye until this evening, then.’

      As Glenn drove towards The Pheasant to unload his belongings he was wondering if that was the worst over.

      He’d spent five years in various African countries, doing what he’d set out to do, and now he was ready for a spell of normal life back home, and every time he thought of normal life he thought of Anna.

      There had been no one for him since she’d told him their relationship was over. He hadn’t had the time or the inclination, though he knew deep down that he needed to move on. But before he did so he’d felt he had to see Anna one more time to make sure that there was nothing left of what they’d once had.

      So now here he was in the Cheshire village that was so dear to her heart, grateful that he’d found her still there. If what she’d said was correct, just as he had never replaced her, so she had never put anyone in his place, though that didn’t have to mean anything. But it had been an uneasy moment when he’d seen her walking along in the snow with a couple of kids. His spirits had sunk to the soles of his feet but common sense had reminded him that her brother’s children would be that age.

      As he’d driven up from London he’d wondered, as he had many times before, how she would greet him if he found her still there. The memory of their last meeting was still cuttingly clear, and now he had his answer. There’d been no happy reunion. Just the exchange of a few stilted sentences had told him he’d been a fool to expect anything else after the way she’d dumped him all that time ago.

      When they’d got their degrees he’d ended up going to Africa without her. It had been at Anna’s suggestion because her life had been taken over by family commitments, as she’d always thought it might be.

      ‘As soon as Dad is on the mend and Julie has had the babies, I’ll join you,’ she’d promised, and he’d reluctantly agreed to leave her behind.

      They’d kept in contact all the time and on each occasion when they’d spoken Anna had told him how much she was missing him and longing to be there beside him. When she’d phoned to say that the babies had arrived safely and her father was no worse, he’d hoped that soon they would be together.

      At that time, along with other members of his team, he’d been about to do a month-long trip to remote areas where the people rarely had the chance to receive health care, and he’d hoped that by the time he returned Anna would be ready with the date of her arrival.

      But there had been no messages waiting for him when he got back and every time he’d rung her there was no answer. He’d felt a sense of foreboding and after two weeks of no contact he’d taken leave and flown home, going straight to Willowmere with all speed.

      When Anna had opened the door of Bracken House to him he’d thought she looked ghastly and his anxiety had increased. As she’d stepped back to let him in he’d asked, ‘What’s wrong, Anna? Why haven’t you answered my calls?’

      ‘I’ve been too busy,’ she said, and he observed her in disbelief.

      ‘Too busy to let me know when you’re coming to join me? We’ve already been apart too long. I’ve been living for the day.’

      ‘Glenn, look, I’m sorry but I’m not coming,’ had been the next stab to the heart. ‘Julie and I were in an accident. Mercifully the babies were unharmed and I was…hurt but survived. But Julie…she was killed. So I can’t leave the little ones now.’ She sighed and put up a hand to stop him saying anything. ‘I’m sorry to do this to you, but even before it happened I’d been giving a lot of thought to us. I was going to call it off, yet didn’t want to do it over the phone, but now that you’re here, I can at least tell you to your face.’

      ‘What?’ He stared at her aghast. She said it like a well-rehearsed speech. ‘The last time we spoke you said you would be joining me soon. I understand why you can’t go to Africa, but we can change our plans. I can come back to work in Britain. We can live here where your family are, so that they have you near, but it doesn’t have to affect our relationship surely. What has made you have doubts about us?’

      Anna shook her head. ‘It’s no good, Glenn. I’ve fallen out of love with you. I’ve had time to step back and take a look at where I was heading and have changed my mind.’

      ‘Are you telling me in a roundabout way that there’s someone else?’ he asked harshly.

      ‘No. I’m just telling you that I want out. I’ve changed my mind.’

      ‘Because Julie has died?’

      ‘Partly, but not just because of that.’

      ‘So what else, then?’

      ‘I’ve told you, I’ve just had time to think about things.

      About us. It’s not going to work. Will you please go?’

      ‘Yes. I will,’ he said coldly, and followed it with, ‘I’m so sorry about what has happened. Give your brother my condolences. I’ll see myself out.’

      He went back to Africa the day after she’d demoralised him with her change of heart, and there had been no communication of any kind from her since the day she’d dumped him without the slightest warning. He’d thrown himself into his difficult and often dangerous work in an attempt to forget her and forced himself to move on.

      So why had he come back now? Gazing through the mullioned window of a pleasant chintzy bedroom beneath the eaves of The Pheasant later that morning, he knew it was need that had brought him here.

      For a long time he’d been bound by the needs of others. Now it was his own need that was driving him. He was drained mentally and physically after what he’d had to do and what he’d had to observe, and ached for Anna’s presence in his life once more, but when he recalled the way she had wiped out what they’d had together in just a few abrupt sentences he hadn’t any high hopes regarding that.

      He’d been lost for words when she’d told him of the passing of her father. What kind of a life had she been living during the years they’d been apart? he wondered. He could have helped make it easier if she’d given him the chance.

      Maybe the coming evening would bring a better understanding between them, but he wasn’t too hopeful. Getting to know Anna again was not going to be easy.

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