The Cowboy's Christmas Baby. Carolyne Aarsen

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ a muffled cry from the car pulled her attention away from him and to her baby still tucked in her carrier in the backseat.

      Erin opened the door and took a second to inhale the sweet scent of baby powder and Caitlin’s shampoo. With a gentle finger she stroked her baby’s tender cheek, still amazed at the rush of love this tiny infant could pull from her. Six weeks ago she’d come into Erin’s life and since then regardless of the exhaustion and confusion that dragged at her every day, Caitlin had been a bright spot in a life that had, of late, had some dark and hard valleys.

      Erin grabbed the muslin blanket from beside her and laid it over top so her baby wouldn’t be exposed to the wind or the sun, then gently pulled the seat free, tucking her arm under the handle and straightening.

      Dean still stood there, frowning as if still trying to absorb the reality of her situation. His puzzlement grew as he glanced from the car seat hanging on her arm to her ringless left hand.

      Yes, I am a single mother, she wanted to say, and no, this was not in my long-term plan when I left here that summer. After turning you down yet again.

      Their gazes locked for a few heartbeats more as if acknowledging a shared past.

      As she closed the door of the car he touched the brim of his hat in a surprisingly courtly gesture, then turned and left, his steps uneven, his one leg hitching with every movement.

      She guessed this was from his rodeo accident almost a year back. Lauren had alluded to it in the texts they had exchanged the past few months.

      Sadness winged through her. How much had changed for both of them since that summer, all those years ago.

      She took a few steps almost getting bowled over by a young woman.

      “Hey, Dean, wait up,” the woman called and while Erin watched she ran up to him, tucking her arm in his. She was slender, tall, her brown hair shining in the sunlight, her trim figure enhanced by a snug tank top and denim pants. “You coming to the dance on Friday night? I was hoping you’d save a waltz for me.” She slid a red-painted fingernail down his arm. Her head tipped to one side as she obviously flirted with him.

      Erin recognized Kelly Sands, a girl a few years younger than both of them, daughter of a local, wealthy rancher. She remembered Kelly as a somewhat spoiled girl who loved a good time more than she loved the consequences of it.

      “I doubt I’ll be going to any dance,” Erin heard Dean say, his voice gruff.

      “Oh, c’mon. It will be fun. We can hang out. Like old times.”

      Then for some reason Dean glanced back at her and Erin saw herself through his eyes.

      Hair pulled up in a sloppy bun. T-shirt with a ketchup stain from when she held Caitlin while trying to wolf down a hot dog. Yoga pants worn for comfort and ease of movement and flip-flops for the same reason.

      Yeah. Not so much to compare to.

      Then just as Erin was about to step into the café Kelly turned to see where Dean was looking. She frowned her puzzlement and then suddenly her smile grew brighter. “Hey, Erin. Wow. I haven’t seen you in ages.”

      “It’s been a few years,” Erin admitted, her pride stung that while Kelly, who barely knew her, could see the difference between her and Lauren and Dean couldn’t.

      “And look at you. With a baby.” Kelly let go of Dean’s arm and scurried over, lifting the cloth covering the car seat. “Oh, my goodness. She’s adorable.” Kelly looked up at her. “I’m guessing from the pink sleeper she’s a girl.”

      “Yes. She is.”

      “I didn’t know you were married,” Kelly continued, covering Caitlin again and, as Dean had, looking at her left hand.

      Erin didn’t want to blush or feel a recurrence of the shame that she struggled to deal with.

      So she looked Kelly straight in the eye. “I’m not.”

      The girl released a surprised laugh, as if she didn’t believe her. “Really? You of all people?”

      Erin wasn’t going to dignify that with a response so she simply kept her chin up, figuratively and literally, and held Kelly’s gaze, saying nothing.

      “I guess people really do change,” Kelly said. Then with a dismissive shrug of her shoulder she walked back to Dean. “And I’ll see you on Saturday,” she told him, her hand lingering on his arm.

      Erin pulled her gaze away, wondering why she cared who Dean hung out with. But as she looked over at the door of the Grill and Chill, Dean’s reaction lingered, as did Kelly’s comment.

      If she went inside she would probably meet someone she knew. And face more of what she’d just dealt with.

      She couldn’t handle more censure, puzzled glances and assumptions.

      So in spite of the thirst parching her throat, she put Caitlin back in the car.

      Then she headed home.

      * * *

      “Just drop me off at home,” Dean said as Vic turned off Main Street, heading toward the highway and the Rocking M. “I don’t feel like coming with you to Lauren’s place.”

      “Home is twenty miles out of the way.” Vic shot his brother a questioning glance. “And I promised Lauren I’d get these groceries to her as soon as possible. I guess Erin is supposed to be arriving late this afternoon.”

      Actually, she would be there sooner.

      But Dean wasn’t going to mention that to Vic. He was still absorbing the shock seeing Erin had given him. He still didn’t know how he had mistaken her for Lauren.

      Though they were twins, Lauren’s eyes were gray; Erin’s a soft blue. Lauren’s hair was blonder, Erin’s held a tinge of copper. And Erin had always had a quiet aloofness that he’d viewed as a constant challenge.

      Seeing her again so easily erased the years since they were last together. One look into those blue eyes and once again he was the brash young man who was willing to take another chance at rejection from Erin McCauley. Once again he felt the sting of her steady refusals.

      And then she’d pulled the car seat out of the back of the car and he felt as if his world had spun in another direction.

      He hadn’t known she had a baby. Or that she was married, though she wasn’t wearing a ring. Neither Lauren nor Jodie mentioned a husband.

      When he’d taken a closer look at her, he’d seen the hollowness of her cheeks, a dullness to her eyes. When she’d told Kelly she wasn’t married his world took another tumble.

      Erin McCauley was always the unobtainable. Elusive. He had always known she was too good for him. And now, here she was. A single mother.

      “I want to get working on that toolshed I promised Mom I’d finish,” he said, wishing he could forget about Erin, frustrated at the effect she had on him. “And I’m tired.”

      He hoped his brother would accept his excuse and drive out of his СКАЧАТЬ