The Three-Year Itch. Liz Fielding

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СКАЧАТЬ do I! I never go anywhere without discussing it with you first.’

      ‘But you still go,’ he declared. ‘That was the deal we made. God knows I miss you when you’re away, Abbie, I’ve never made any secret of that fact—but it’s a choice we both made right at the beginning. You said you’d need five years to establish yourself in your career, then you could take a break.’

      ‘I don’t remember carving it on a tablet of stone!’ Suddenly the discussion was getting too heated, too emotional, but she couldn’t stop. ‘I … I want to have a child now, Grey.’

      ‘Why?’

      Because I love you and having your baby would be the most wonderful thing that could happen to me. His detached expression did not invite such a declaration.

      In the absence of an immediate answer, he provided one for her. ‘Because all your friends are having babies,’ he said dismissively.

      ‘Rubbish!’

      ‘Cogently argued,’ he replied.

      ‘God, I hate it when you go all lawyerish on me,’ she declared fervently. ‘What would you do if I simply stopped taking the pill?’ The words were out. It was too late to call them back.

      But his expression betrayed nothing. ‘Is that emotional blackmail, Abbie,’ he asked, very quietly, ‘or a statement of intent?’

      Her face darkened in a flush of shame. She had always considered their marriage an equal partnership. Right now it didn’t feel that equal, but a child needed two loving parents and it was a decision they had to make together. Slowly, deliberately she shook her head. ‘I’ve been thinking about this for months, Grey,’ she told him.

      The planes of his face hardened imperceptibly. ‘And now you’ve made up your mind, you’ve decided to inform me of your unilateral decision?’

      ‘It wasn’t like that, Grey. I … I just wanted to be sure.’

      ‘Well, I want to be sure, too,’ he declared. Then, as if trying to claw away from the edge of some yawning precipice, he went on, more gently, ‘What about your career? You’re beginning to make a real name for yourself—’

      ‘I don’t intend to stop working, Grey,’ she said, interrupting. Lord, if that was his only concern then there was no problem. ‘I thought if we had a nanny I could get on with—’

      The tight constraint finally snapped. ‘Damn it, Abbie, a baby is not an accessory that every professional woman needs to prove that she’s some kind of superwoman. I won’t have a child of mine dumped at six weeks with a nanny while her mother gets on with her real life.’ He flung his napkin on the table, pushed back his chair and rose to his feet.

      ‘You don’t understand!’ she flung at him. ‘Why won’t you listen to me?’

      ‘I’ve listened. Now it’s my turn to think. Months you said you’d been thinking about this? How many months? I think I should at least be granted as long as you.’

      ‘Don’t walk away from this, Grey,’ she warned him. ‘I’m serious.’

      ‘So am I.’ For a moment they stared at one another across the table as if they were strangers. Then Grey gave an awkward little shrug. ‘We’ll talk about it again in six months. Now, since I’m really not very hungry, I’ll go and deal with the messages that have piled up on the machine.’

      Abbie, stunned into silence, remained where she was. She didn’t understand what had happened. One moment they had been sitting quietly having their supper and the next they were tearing emotional lumps off one another.

      ‘Well, you really made a mess of that, Abigail Lockwood,’ she told herself aloud. More of a mess than she would have thought possible. If she hadn’t known better, she would have thought he didn’t want her to have his child … But that was ridiculous. Grey loved to be around children. She had been the one who’d wanted to wait a while to give her career a chance. She almost wished she hadn’t been so successful …

      With a sigh, she gathered the plates, cleared away and collected her bag from the hall. If he had decided to work, then so would she; while he dealt with his calls she could download her laptop onto the PC. But before that she would insist that he listen to her. He might still oppose the idea of starting a family, but at least he would know she had no intention of dumping her longed for baby with a nanny and de-parting for all corners of the globe at a moment’s notice. Hardly any wonder he was angry if he thought that was her intention.

      Grey, on the telephone, stopped speaking and looked up as she entered the study, placing his hand over the receiver. ‘Give me a minute will you, Abbie?’ he asked. ‘This is—’ She didn’t wait to find out what it was, but backed out, closing the door behind her with a sharp snap.

      ‘Abbie?’ He found her a few minutes later, loading the washing machine.

      ‘Where’s your bag, Grey? You must have some washing if you’ve been away.’

      ‘In the bedroom. Abbie, about the phone call …’

      She didn’t want to listen to him explaining why suddenly he had secrets where there had never been secrets before. She knew some of his work was highly confidential, but they had always shared a study; he trusted her discretion … Or maybe it wasn’t work at all. The thought leapt unbidden into her head. She straightened, pushed past him and crossed the hall to the bedroom, where she unzipped his bag and began to remove his clothes.

      Then she collected the clothes they had so carelessly jettisoned while under the shower. Two pairs of wet jeans? She glanced at the pair she was already holding which had come from his bag. What kind of lawyer took jeans to a case conference, for heaven’s sake? Not Grey. He had a wardrobe full of sober, well-cut suits that he kept for the office. And as she scooped up the pair he had been wearing she caught the faintest scent of woodsmoke that clung to the cloth, reminding her of the cottage.

      He was still in the kitchen standing in front of the washing machine when she returned, so that she had to ask him to move before she could load the clothes.

      ‘Excuse me, Grey,’ she said stiffly.

      For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to move. Then he shrugged, shifted sideways. ‘Abbie, will you stop fussing about and let me explain?’ he demanded as she pushed in the clothes, keeping her eyes determinedly upon her task.

      ‘Explain? You wanted to make a private telephone call. What’s there to explain about that?’ Everything, she thought as she banged the door shut, set the programme, and when she turned away he was standing in front of her, blocking the way.

      ‘I know you’re angry with me for not wanting you to have a baby right now—’

      ‘Give the man a coconut,’ she interrupted flippantly as she tried to sidestep him. But it wasn’t true. She was angry with him for not wanting to talk about it, for not listening. It was so unlike him.

      He caught her arm as she brushed past, held her at his side. ‘I’m sorry if I seemed as if I didn’t care. I do. And I will think about it … it’s just that it’s been a difficult couple of weeks.’

      ‘Difficult?’ She was immediately contrite. ‘What’s happened? Is it Robert?’ she asked, СКАЧАТЬ