Midnight on the Sands. Оливия Гейтс

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СКАЧАТЬ once had he wanted to be him. And now look at him. He had stepped into his brother’s life. He was even marrying his brother’s intended bride.

      The thought was like burning steel in flesh. Nothing fit in this life. Nothing was his. A constant reminder that the wrong man had lived through the attack on his family. It should have been Malik sitting here with Katharine. Ruling the country as their birth order dictated.

      “I do.”

      “So, he’ll accept what I’m doing with my life and be … happy for me, I suppose.”

      “Have you always resented your duty?”

      She sat still then, the only motion the fluttering of her pulse at the hollow of her throat. “I have always accepted that I would marry someone for the sake of my country. When I met Malik … I felt good about what I was doing. It felt right. He was a good man and the alliance between the countries would provide so much protection for both of our nations.”

      “And when he died?”

      “My heart felt torn in two.”

      Katharine looked down at her hands. It was the truth. The day she’d found out about the attacks, she’d felt that it had happened to her own family. She’d grieved the loss of the S’ad al Dins. Had grieved for the country, for the one who was left.

      She hadn’t loved Malik, but that didn’t mean his death was painless for her. He had been a good man, one she’d been confident would do the best by his country and hers.

      It had been devastating to lose that. And she’d felt aimless. Like she’d been searching for new purpose. Because she’d known, from day one, that it had been her duty to marry advantageously for Austrich.

      With that gone, she’d had to find something new.

      She had. The past five years she’d had more freedom, more aim than ever before. She’d made changes, had made valuable friendships. Had worked at proving herself in a way that went beyond her worth as breeding stock.

      Coming back to the marriage part, that had been jarring. But again, she knew her place. But now … now that she’d tasted something else, something that was hers … it made her want more. It made her want to find out if she might find some contentment there.

      “I did not know you felt so strongly for him,” Zahir said, his words stiff, his dark eyes closed off.

      “I felt very strongly about the arrangement. That’s one reason I fought so hard for it. It’s the right thing.”

      “And yet … since I will give you an out, you’re more than willing to take it.”

      Shame made her face hot. “Yes,” she said, the words a whisper.

      “What’s changed?”

      “The thought that maybe I could have something else. Something more.”

      A muscle in his jaw ticked. “And in the meantime, you make yourself a human sacrifice.”

      “Haven’t we both?”

      “True. I know why you do what you do. Do you know why I am the Sheikh of Hajar? Why I didn’t pass it to one of my distant relatives?” His voice was rough, his words halting. “Because I am the only one left to fight. And even if I have to fight for my people from a desk, I will do it until there is no more breath in me. Because I’m all that’s left.”

      Her heart seized in her chest, the aching, emptiness of his loneliness swept through her, left her breathless. The move to touch him was reflexive, an instinct she couldn’t fight. She covered his hand with hers and his body jerked, but his hand remained there, beneath hers.

      He didn’t speak, he only looked at her. But the look in his eyes became more focused as he did. His gaze drifted down to where her hand covered his, so pale next to the deep golden tone of his skin.

      “I am sorry about before,” she said, her voice a whisper.

      He was silent for a moment, his hand tense beneath hers. “As am I.”

      She slid her hand away from his, but she felt the lingering heat from him. From his skin. “I spoke to my father and brother today.”

      “And?”

      “My father is thrilled, of course, well, in his way, and … Alexander doesn’t really know the circumstances. I don’t want him to. He’d hate to know that I was doing this for him. He’s only sixteen and he simply wouldn’t understand. And neither of them know that this is … temporary.”

      “I see. When did you understand you were to marry a man your father selected?”

      She laughed softly. The memory of that day was one she tried her best to block out on most occasions. “Maybe twelve.

      It came up at dinner. My mother had passed away just a couple of years earlier and Alexander was just a toddler. My father mentioned that he’d begun looking for … I think he used the words appropriate suitors for me. I was appalled.”

      “I would imagine so.”

      “I had posters of my favorite singer on my wall and I was going to marry him. Somehow I didn’t think a pop star would pass muster.”

      She was gratified when his lips turned up into a slight smile. “I would think not.”

      “What about you?”

      “Malik was the one who had to think about advantageous marriages.”

      “Yes, that was meant to be me.”

      He looked at his wineglass. “I was going to marry for love.”

      Her stomach tightened. Before the attack, he meant. “You still can. After.”

      He shook his head. “I think not. I don’t believe in it anymore. And even if I did, I know I can no longer feel it.” He pushed up on the edge of the table, his movements jerky. “Thank you for dinner.”

      “Thank the chef,” she said, trying to suppress the sadness that was mounting in her.

      “I will.” He inclined his head and turned away from her, leaving her sitting at the table alone.

       CHAPTER FIVE

      KATHARINE had been in Hajar for more than a week and the walls of the palace were starting to crush her from the inside out. She was feeling a definite need to get out and see more of the country, or at least see more than the inside of the palace, beautiful though it was.

      She’d heard they had some magnificent upscale shopping centers in Kadim, the capital city, but she’d yet to see anything beyond the airport and Zahir’s home.

      At least now she was on her way out. She’d spoken to Kahlah that morning about obtaining security detail for a shopping excursion and her needs had been met quickly. Now, just an hour later, she was headed into the city.

      She СКАЧАТЬ