Dr. Do-Or-Die. Lara Lacombe

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СКАЧАТЬ She couldn’t very well continue to stand here, lost in bitter memories, now that she had company. Besides, she’d already spent too much time thinking about the past. Her shared history with Grant was painful, but she wasn’t going to let it affect her current job. And if the shock on his face was anything to go by, he didn’t really want to walk down memory lane, either. It seemed they were both on the same page, then. Focus on the problem at hand so they could each go their separate ways.

      Avery stepped out into the hall and turned left. She could see the door to Grant’s office from here, and despite her resolve to remain professional at all times, her stomach flopped about like a landed fish. Part of her wanted badly to tell him off—to let him know in no uncertain terms how much pain he’d caused her. But another, more rational part recognized that was a bad idea. It just wasn’t worth the effort, and in the end it wouldn’t bring her the satisfaction she craved. Better for her to stop looking back. She couldn’t change the past, and if she got mired in memories she wouldn’t be able to work effectively.

      Was Grant having the same problem? Likely not, she thought with a soft snort. Unless she missed her guess, he’d moved away after college and hadn’t looked back. And why would he? He’d dodged a bullet when she lost the baby—he’d made that much clear.

      Avery shook her head, drawing deep inside herself for strength. She was going to walk into his office with her head held high and her shoulders back, and she’d keep her chin up for the duration of her stay here. She wasn’t about to let Grant know how much the past still haunted her after all these years. No, she was going to project the image of a calm, capable professional, not a woman forever changed by his actions.

      And maybe after a while, she’d believe it herself.

      * * *

      Grant sat behind his desk and took a deep breath, his mind going a million miles a minute. What was he going to say to Avery? The shock of seeing her had begun to wear off, but he still wasn’t feeling terribly articulate. The last thing he wanted to do was say the wrong thing and increase the tension between them.

      She definitely hadn’t been excited to see him. He recalled the look on her face when she’d realized it was him, and a sense of shame made his skin prickle. It was his fault Avery looked at him like he was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe. Once upon a time they’d meant the world to each other. But a few careless words had killed her feelings and ruined his chances of ever finding happiness with her again.

      He thought he’d managed to put that painful episode of his life behind him, but seeing Avery brought it all back up again, and Grant was surprised to find the heartache was still fresh, ten years later.

      So much for time healing everything.

      Should he just start with an apology and get it over with? I’m sorry I said the miscarriage was for the best. Straight and to the point. No way for her to misinterpret his words. It was a hell of an opener, but maybe it was the best approach. When a patient had an infection he didn’t hesitate to use aggressive treatments. This wound had festered between them for far too long—perhaps it was time to air things out and start the healing.

      Or maybe not.

      Avery had always been a stickler for rules and protocol. She probably wouldn’t appreciate him bringing up the past, especially since she was here in a professional capacity. It was one thing to talk about their shared history over a beer, quite another to discuss it as part of an outbreak investigation. It might be better for him to ignore the past and focus solely on current events.

      Besides, it was entirely possible Avery had moved on with her life and no longer carried the burden of her loss.

      Not likely, he thought, dismissing the prospect almost immediately. Avery wasn’t the type to pretend something hadn’t happened. Grant could still remember the look in her eyes, that haunted, hopeless grief eating her up from the inside... He shuddered, and goose bumps broke out along his arms. No, he did not think Avery had gotten over the loss of the baby.

      But maybe she had found someone new and started a family. The thought filled him with equal parts pleasure and dismay. Grant would never wish for her to be unhappy, but the idea that she’d moved on with her life stung, especially since he certainly hadn’t.

      He’d dated a few women over the years, but his heart really hadn’t been in it. He made a point of warning the women up front that he was not the marrying kind, but they always seemed to take it as a challenge, like they would be the one to change his mind. The experience left a bad taste in his mouth, and so he’d chosen to remain single rather than break someone else’s heart.

      Had Avery been wearing a ring? He closed his eyes, trying to remember. But all he could recall was her face, those bright blue eyes growing cold when she realized who he was...

      Grant shook his head to clear the memory and focused on his immediate problem. What should he say to her? He glanced at his watch, and his heart kicked hard against his breastbone. She was going to be here any minute, and he still had no idea how to talk to her.

      A knock on the door told him he’d run out of time. He’d just have to wing it, and let her take the lead. No matter what had happened between them, they had to work together now. He wasn’t going to be the reason this investigation failed.

      “Come in.”

      The door swung open and he stood to greet her, gesturing for her to take the seat across from him. “Sorry it’s so crowded,” he said as she maneuvered into the small space. The room was a narrow rectangle, carved out from the slightly larger staff break room. Grant’s desk sat at the far end, opposite the door. Bookshelves lined the walls, crammed full of texts on every conceivable medical subject. It was a testament to the preinternet days when a base physician needed access to information on a wide variety of conditions. As Grant had already learned, there was no telling what might walk through the door.

      Avery glanced around, taking it all in as she moved forward. Her eyes landed on the cot shoved to one side of the room, topped with a tangle of sheets. She quickly looked away again, and Grant felt a sudden stab of embarrassment. Why hadn’t he thought to make the bed? She probably thought he’d turned into a slob.

      “It’s cozy,” she said, the corner of her mouth lifting in a half smile as she sat. Grant did the same and promptly forgot how to breathe when she leaned forward to pull something out of the bag she’d set at her feet. The V of her scrub top gaped open, giving him an unobstructed view of her lovely attributes. His face heated and he turned his head, looking for something—anything—else to focus on while he willed his body’s response to go away. Of all the inconvenient times to be reminded of her as a woman... Dozens of memories rushed in, overwhelming him with visions of them together. His hands on her. Her hands on him. Her mouth—He shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, then eyed the bottle of water on his desk. Would it be too obvious if he dumped the contents into his lap?

      “Everything okay over there?”

      Grant glanced back to find Avery watching him, a curious expression on her face. Damn. He was going to have to be more careful about controlling his reactions around her. Thanks to their shared past, she could tell when something was bothering him.

      “I’m good,” he said. “Just had a little tickle in my throat.” He unscrewed the cap on the water bottle and took a healthy swig to lend more credence to the lie.

      She nodded, apparently accepting his answer.

      “How have you been?” Grant asked. He knew she’d probably rather talk about the outbreak, СКАЧАТЬ