The Impossible Vastness Of Us. Samantha Young

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СКАЧАТЬ with Hayley at his back.

      “Theo,” I said warily, wondering what had put the concern in his eyes.

      “Your mother and I got home an hour ago only to discover you weren’t at the party. Rosa told us she gave you Eloise’s keys so you could get something to eat.”

      “Yeah.” I shrugged, not wanting them to think that I thought it was a big deal. “I found a diner in Waltham. I ate and read there for a while.”

      Both Theo and Hayley looked upset and not a little guilty. “We assumed Eloise had taken you to Bryce’s party. If we’d known she hadn’t, of course we would have arranged for you to have dinner with us.”

      I clenched my jaw, my blood hot with humiliation. “I’m fine, okay? I told Eloise I didn’t want to go to the party.” Don’t ask me why I covered for her. I didn’t know the answer to that.

      “Sweetheart, it’s not fine.” Hayley looked almost near tears. “I want us to be a family, not for you to feel alone.”

      “It was one dinner, Hayley. Not exactly scarred here.”

      She narrowed her eyes at my sarcasm, the tears having dissolved at my tone. “I’m trying to apologize.”

      “Apology accepted. May I go to my room now?”

      Annoyingly, Hayley looked to Theo for the answer to this. He didn’t look happy, but he nodded, and I quickly skirted past them and up the stairs.

      Of course I’d lied to Hayley. It wasn’t fine. In fact, I could feel my resentment simmering on a higher heat day after day.

      * * *

      A shadow fell over me as I lazed on a lounge chair by the pool the next morning. I’m sure Theo and Hayley thought my absence from breakfast was some teenage tantrum about what happened last night, but honestly, I just wasn’t in the mood to face them. I’d nabbed a bowl of cereal in the kitchen while Gretchen was out of sight.

      I sighed, thinking the shadow belonged to Hayley, and looked up and to my side.

      I tensed.

      Eloise stood over me, studying me, a million questions in her eyes. Once she had my attention she sat down on the chair next to mine.

      This time she was the one who gave a heavy, almost defeated-sounding sigh. “You told Daddy you didn’t want to go to the party instead of telling him I didn’t invite you.”

      Since it wasn’t really a question, I didn’t answer.

      Her expression was guarded. “Why?”

      I shrugged.

      A few seconds of silence passed between us but it felt more like minutes.

      “I didn’t spread those rumors at school,” she suddenly said.

      Surprised that she felt the need to proclaim her innocence to me, I kept my own expression guarded, wondering what she was up to. “I know.”

      Eloise raised one slim, perfect eyebrow. “You do?”

      “Gabe told me he spread the rehab rumor. And I heard Bryce was responsible for that b.s. about my being bulimic.”

      Biting her lip, Eloise nodded. “The bulimia rumor was partly my fault. I told her about the way you acted over our leftovers. But she came up with the bulimia thing on her own.”

      “I bet she did,” I murmured.

      Eloise studied her peach-painted toenails for a while. “I haven’t meant to be a bitch to you.” She looked up warily. “I just... I don’t think we have a lot in common.”

      As much as I wanted in with the “in” crowd, I couldn’t deny she had a point. “I guess we don’t.”

      She nodded, seeming to relax knowing that I agreed with her. “Daddy’s really mad at me right now. He doesn’t get mad at me a lot. He asked me to look out for you at school and found out that I didn’t.”

      “I don’t need you to look out for me.”

      “Yes, but I imagine it’s not really fun sitting alone during lunch.”

      I didn’t reply because it wasn’t.

      “I love my father,” Eloise said abruptly. “He’s one of my best friends. I don’t like disappointing him.”

      I’d kind of worked that out for myself, and in my secret heart of hearts I was jealous as hell.

      “Okay...”

      “Tomorrow at school things will change. You’ll sit with us at lunch, walk with us in the hall.” She looked off in the distance, her shoulders hunched to her ears. “We can’t force friendship, but we can certainly be civil to one another.”

      She was so proper, so constrained. It occurred to me that her demeanor was a defensive strategy. It hid her emotions. It hid her vulnerabilities. It was a different kind of defense from my own, but a defense nonetheless, and I found that it was a small piece of common ground between us.

      So I replied, “That works for me. Thanks.”

      Eloise looked back at me, apparently surprised by my response as her face softened with questions and curiosity. But the look was fleeting and just like that the warmth was zapped from her hazel eyes, the cold distance crystallizing in them once more.

      “Well—” she stood up “—I’m off to Finn’s. I’ll see you later.”

      “Bye.” I watched her leave, more confused than ever. Like her father, I couldn’t figure Eloise out. As much as I’d been convinced she and Theo would be the villains in this chapter of my life, now I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that was true.

      No matter my confusion, the apprehension I’d been carrying around with me for the past week was draining from me.

      Tomorrow at school I was to make my first appearance with the “in” crowd. I had a lot to overcome, what with the rehab and bulimia rumors, but those would be so much easier to get past while walking at the side of the most popular juniors at Tobias Rochester High.

      I smiled, my shoulders melting into the lounge chair. I was on my way to making my way back up to the top again.

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