The Impossible Vastness Of Us. Samantha Young

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СКАЧАТЬ plummeted harshly when I realized I was going to have to sit alone.

      I hadn’t eaten lunch alone since I lived with my dad.

      Doing what I’d gotten so good at since I’d arrived in Massachusetts, I pretended I wasn’t bothered by my loner status. Instead I pulled out the book I was currently reading and got lost in the words while I ate my pasta salad.

      Only a few minutes later my face started to tingle and I felt the little hairs on the back of my neck rise. Not moving my book from covering my face, I discreetly looked up over the top of it, searching for the cause of the tingles.

      My eyes locked with Finn Rochester’s.

      Those little flutters awoke in my stomach again and I flushed hot.

      Finn wrenched his gaze away, frowning down at his plate. No one at his table seemed to notice he’d been looking over at me.

      I focused back on the pages of my book, but the words just became blurry blobs.

      The truth was Finn unsettled me. I honestly didn’t know why.

      I just knew I didn’t like it.

      Forcing myself to concentrate on the book, I eventually got back into the story and for a while I forgot I was in hostile territory.

      * * *

      I wish I could say that the day improved from there but it was pretty much the same as the beginning. Classes were fine, if a lot more challenging than my old school, teachers were overall welcoming and none of my fellow students bothered to introduce themselves to me.

      I walked out of school at the end of the day the way I’d walked in.

      Alone.

      Gil was waiting with the car and when he saw me he got out to open the door for me. “Good afternoon, miss. I hope you had a good first day.”

      I thanked him as I slid into the car.

      Once I was settled inside Gil got back in the driver’s seat and started to pull away.

      “What about Eloise?”

      “Miss Eloise informed me that she will be getting a ride home from Finn later this afternoon.”

      I nodded and turned to stare out the window. I’d found myself forgetting throughout the day that Finn and Eloise were a couple. They didn’t act like Bryce and Joshua, who could barely keep their hands off one another. I knew not all couples liked PDA, but there was usually something to let you know that a couple were into one another. They acted like friends, for sure, but I hadn’t seen them kiss or hold hands or cuddle.

      But I guess one day wasn’t really long enough to form an opinion about them as a couple.

      As the streets of Boston passed us by I let my thoughts drift away from Eloise and Finn. Instead I thought of all the homework I had to do, all the work I had ahead of me to get involved in my new school and how miserable it was that I hadn’t made one single friend. I’d decided Gabe didn’t count. I knew when a boy had sex on his mind and Gabe was definitely flirting with me.

      “Tomorrow is a new day.”

      I was startled from my forlorn musing by the sound of Gil’s voice.

      He was smiling sympathetically at me in the rearview mirror. “The first day is always the worst.”

      Grateful for his insight and kindness, I gave him a small smile. “It can only get better, right?”

      “Definitely.” And it sounded like a promise.

      I hoped it was a promise. A solid one. Because I’d worked too hard to get out of my previous miserable existence for my mother’s new romance to take that all away from me.

      Upon arriving home, I had to remind myself to let Gil get the door for me. When I stepped out I thanked him and hoped he knew I meant it sincerely. So far he was the only person from the house, other than Theo, who had been warm to me. I appreciated it.

      Thinking of the staff, I decided to brave the kitchen despite Gretchen’s grouchiness that morning because I really wanted a soda. Entering the vast space, I found it full of hustle and bustle as Gretchen and one of Theo’s maids prepared for dinner.

      I gave them an unsure smile and headed toward the huge refrigerator.

      “May I help?” Gretchen called over.

      “I’m just getting a soda.”

      “I’ll get it for you, miss,” she said gruffly, stepping away from the vegetables she was cutting.

      “It’s fine. I can get my own soda,” I assured her with more than a hint of amusement in my voice.

      Gretchen frowned but nodded.

      “Do you know if Hayley is home?”

      The maid was the one that answered me. “Ms. Maxwell is out. Wedding plans. She said she would return in time for dinner.”

      Wedding plans. Of course. “Thanks,” I muttered, and strolled out of the kitchen with my can of soda. I headed straight for my room.

      Hayley had broken it to me last night that she’d quit her job. I’d tried not to get really angry at her for giving up her own means of independence, because I knew her well enough to know that this wasn’t a decision she was going back on.

      As I’d gotten older and started to question why Hayley made the choices that she made, I started to form the theory that my inept mother had always wanted to be a princess. She didn’t want reality. She wanted fantasy.

      Theodore Fairweather was finally giving her that.

      She could live a life of leisure as the wife of a wealthy, influential blue blood.

      Never, I decided, never would I put my entire financial and emotional well-being in the hands of someone else. Never!

      Nope. I was going to metaphorically kick ass at my new school and forge a new path to total independence. On that thought I got on my laptop, found some editions of my old school paper and sent them to Franklin to look over.

      I studied a little, impatiently waiting for time to pass. Anna was going to FaceTime me but since there was a three-hour time difference between us, I had to wait for her to get out of school. When my laptop started ringing like a phone, I thought I hadn’t heard such a nice sound in a long time.

      “Oh my God, come home!” Anna yelled.

      “Believe me, I would if I could. How was the first day of school without me?”

      Anna rolled her eyes. “Um...what do you think? Siobhan is totally acting like Winter Snow Queen already.”

      “Yeah, like we didn’t know that was going to happen. As long as she’s not being mean?”

      “So far not a lot of meanness, just a lot of ‘fall at my feet and kiss my toes.’”

      “Literally?”

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