Wildfire Sweethearts. Leigh Bale

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СКАЧАТЬ style="font-size:15px;">      She did and the engine roared to life. Sean slammed the hood closed, removed his sunglasses and wiped his damp brow with his forearm. He hopped into the back of the truck, returned Zach’s tools to their place then jumped down and leaned against her door.

      “You should be okay now, but I’ll follow you until we reach your apartment in Minoa.” He spoke low, the rich timbre of his voice sending shivers down her spine.

      She remembered a time when he would have leaned in and kissed her goodbye. She yearned for him to hold her against his heart again. To tell her that Zach’s death was just a bad dream. That he still loved her and everything would be okay. But he didn’t. And it did her no good to dwell on the reasons why.

      “That won’t be necessary. I’ll be fine.” She didn’t think she could stand to have him on her tail for the next three hours. But in this remote area, there was no help for it. And something about knowing he would be following her tied her insides into knots.

      “We’re going to the same place, so I’ll stay with you until I know you’re safe,” he insisted.

      She bit her tongue, wishing he cared as much about her emotions as he did for her physical well-being.

      She gave a bored shrug of her shoulders, thinking she should thank him, but unable to speak the words. “Suit yourself.”

      “How’s your mom?”

      She blinked at his sudden question, taken off guard. Over the past decade, he’d shared every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with her family. All but the most recent, that is. Her mom had loved him like a second son.

      “She misses you,” Tessa said.

      So do I. But she couldn’t understand where that thought came from. She didn’t love this man anymore. Not after the way he’d tossed her aside. Her father had done the same thing, and she would never trust another man again.

      Sean nodded. “Give her my best.”

      “Yeah,” Tessa said.

      A thatch of curly hair fell into his eyes and he brushed it back, his hands covered with grime. A glaze of perspiration shadowed his freshly shaven face and neck and stained the back of his shirt and underarms.

      She glanced down at her own shirt. Although she hadn’t done much, she’d still managed to get grease on her clothes and hands. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, she reached for a pile of napkins she kept stowed in the door pocket and handed him some. He took her offering and they both rubbed at the stains on their fingers.

      Even though she got much dirtier than this when she fought wildfires, the filth bothered her. She told herself it was because she was traveling and didn’t want to muck up the interior of Zach’s truck. It certainly had nothing to do with her ex-fiancé being here. After all, Sean had seen her many times on the fireline with her face covered in soot. But off the line, she’d always tried to look nice for him. And old habits died hard. Now they were no longer together, it shouldn’t matter. And she reminded herself that she no longer cared what he thought.

      * * *

      Sean climbed into his truck and started up the engine. Clicking on his seat belt, he waited for Tessa to pull forward and precede him down the road.

      She moved out slowly and he wondered if the trip to Minoa might take all day. Then she picked up the pace, as though testing the strength of her truck.

      Correction. Zach’s truck. A beat-up old clunker. But the vehicle hadn’t always been that way. Sean remembered the day Zach had bought the truck nine years earlier. It had been ten years old at the time, but still in good condition. Sean had donated several hundred dollars to the cause when Zach came up short. Now Sean couldn’t help feeling as though the truck was partly his. He and Zach had done a lot of traveling in that vehicle. With Tessa sitting between them like the three musketeers.

      Now she resented him. He’d seen that clearly in her beautiful emerald eyes, along with a heavy dose of suspicion. And she had a right. He’d hurt her deeply. Abandoning her, just like her father had done when she was a little girl. It didn’t matter that Sean regretted their broken engagement; he wasn’t willing to undo it. If he told her of his regrets, she wouldn’t believe him. She might even laugh in his face. But he wouldn’t put that weapon in her hands. His heart couldn’t take it.

      Waves of disgust washed over him. A hefty dose of self-loathing followed in its wake. In spite of his breakup with Tessa, he’d made a promise to Zach when she first joined the hotshot crew. A promise he intended to keep. That he’d keep her safe on the fireline. That he’d always look after her and protect her, no matter what.

      This was her last firefighting season before she finished her college education. Then she’d move on with her career. Sean had no doubt she’d be promoted fast. Someone as sharp and talented as her would probably become an assistant fire management officer somewhere. In a few years she’d move up to FMO. Once she was working in an office, she’d be safely out of danger. Then he could move on, too. He’d failed to save Zach, but he wouldn’t fail again. After this fire season, he’d take a quiet desk job, far away from the trees, smoke and flames. Where he couldn’t make any mistakes that might cost someone else their life.

      Silently, he yearned for redemption. If only God could forgive him for failing Zach. If only he could forgive himself.

      Tessa hadn’t mentioned her brother. Maybe they were both too surprised to see each other like this. Out in the middle of nowhere. Taken off guard.

      When Sean had seen her sitting on the side of the road, a surge of exhilaration had swept over him. He had his sources. A mutual friend had told him she’d be driving along this deserted road to Minoa today. Though he hadn’t planned on coming across her, he’d arranged his own itinerary so that he’d be traveling the same route. Honoring the promise he’d made to Zach, just in case she needed him. And it turned out that she had.

      Deep inside, he knew it was more than his promise to Zach that had brought him here today. He tried not to care but couldn’t help craving one more glimpse of Tessa’s pert, stubborn nose and flawless complexion, one more breath of her long, coconut-scented hair. It wasn’t just her beauty that drew him to her, but also her spunk. Her grit. Who she was inside. Something he couldn’t explain. A connecting of their spirits.

      Nor could he find any respite from the guilt he carried around like a load of bricks in his heart. The psychiatrist he’d visited several times after the fire had said he was suffering from survivor’s guilt and PTSD. Because he’d failed to save Zach, he didn’t believe he could marry Tessa now. How could he look her in the eye every day of their life together and justify why he’d survived but her brother had died?

      She had told him once that she thought there was no justification to ever lose a man or woman’s life on a fire. That it always had to be someone’s fault. In this case, that someone was him. She must surely blame him. And he’d feared that her doubts and resentment would simmer inside her until they slowly destroyed their marriage. He couldn’t put either of them through an ugly divorce. Tessa deserved better than that.

      He stared at the back taillights of her trailer. She always packed light. Not a lot of encumbrances to tie her down. That was just one thing he liked about this woman. She didn’t require a lot of baggage. But she wasn’t happy anymore. He could see that in her wary eyes. And he couldn’t blame her. It would take a lot more than eight months for her to trust him again and to recover from Zach’s death.

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