The Truth About Hope. Kate James

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СКАЧАТЬ shot to her feet, clenching her fists at her sides. All the years of conflict with Suzie converged in that single moment, bound up with Hope’s anguish at losing her mother and her fear of losing everything she knew. “This has nothing to do with Luke!” She bent over to lift up her pack, but Suzie pulled it out of her reach.

      “I bet it does,” Suzie taunted.

      Hope felt the pressure build in her chest at the thought of leaving him. It was for only a year, she tried to convince herself, but her thin thread of control finally snapped. “Leave me alone,” she repeated. “In a week, I’ll have left Canyon Creek.”

      She unclenched her fists and went very still. Had she really said that? Had she blurted out to Suzie, of all people, that she was leaving?

      “Where are you going?” Suzie asked. “Like a vacation?”

      Hope’s body remained rigid but her mind worked furiously. What should she say? How should she handle this so Suzie wouldn’t see her as a helpless victim? She couldn’t bear to let her think that. “It’s not a vacation. I’m moving,” she said. “I...” She was still searching desperately for a way out. It was bad enough that everyone already felt sorry for her because of her father and now her mother. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, let Suzie know the depth of her misery. “I’m going to live with my father.”

      “Your father?”

      Hope nodded. “Yes. My father. In San Jose.”

      “You’re going? Just like that?”

      Hope had to save face. She couldn’t bear the idea of explaining to Suzie that she didn’t have a choice. “This is my big chance,” she improvised. “You can’t imagine how rich my father is. He could buy this whole town, if he wanted to!” Suzie’s obvious glee was replaced by...what? Envy? It didn’t matter. Hope was on a roll. “Me? I’m tired of just hanging around here.” She made a sweeping motion with her arm toward the town spread out below the precipice. “I’m going to be rich, like my father. Do you realize how great San Jose is?” She’d checked it out on the internet; she’d been able to see her father’s place on Google Earth. “My father has a huge house,” she boasted.

      Suzie stared at her, speechless.

      Hope pushed her sunglasses higher on her nose and fixed what she considered a gloating smile on her face.

      Suzie opened her mouth, then closed it again. Finally, she mumbled, “Good for you” and jogged away.

      Well, she’d done it. This wasn’t the way Hope had wanted to communicate things, but at least no one would feel sorry for her—and there wasn’t much she could do about it now. Not only was Suzie unkind, she was an incorrigible gossip. Their conversation would be town fodder in no time.

      Then the realization struck her. She hadn’t told Luke yet! “Oh, my gosh,” she exclaimed. She had to speak with Luke.

      Hope grabbed her pack and raced across the field, down Yardley Drive and toward Luke’s house. While she ran, she tried to figure out what to say. She didn’t like being helpless. She didn’t like not being in control. She didn’t want him feeling sorry for her.

      She came to a sudden stop and tried to catch her breath.

      What if he wanted to go with her? They’d talked about where they’d go to college. Luke had insisted that he’d go wherever she did.

      Would he do that? Go to San Jose with her? Her mood brightened. He was the one person who wouldn’t desert her. Then she wouldn’t be all alone.

      But that was selfish. His family was struggling to make ends meet since his father had left them. That was a common bond they shared—the fact that they each had only a mother. But he had a younger brother, Travis. Luke worked after school, on weekends and all through the summer to help out. Travis wasn’t old enough to have a job; he did his share by looking after the chickens and goats they raised. How would his family get by if Luke left? Besides, how could he afford to live in San Jose and finish school? No, it was out of the question.

      Hope loved Mrs. Carter almost as much as her own mother. Yes, Luke would be going to college in another year, but Hope couldn’t be responsible for his leaving before that, making life even harder for his mom and younger brother.

      The more Hope thought about it, the more she realized how easy it had been to let Suzie think it was her own decision. That she wasn’t a victim, and she needn’t be pitied.

      That would be her story. Now that she’d told Suzie, everyone would know what she’d said anyway. Why not just let them believe it?

      Suzie had probably told lots of people by now. No longer having to race against the clock, Hope walked resolutely to Luke’s house.

      She found him outside, working in the chicken coop. He was hunched over, his back to her, collecting eggs. He was so tall, so strong, things that had attracted her when they’d already been best friends. “Hey,” she called out.

      Luke jerked upright, banging his head on the two-by-four beam at the top of the opening. He grunted loudly. Rubbing his head, he backed out of the coop and straightened. His look of mild irritation turned to pleasure when he saw her. “Hey to you, too, Sprite,” he responded, using his nickname for her. He hurried over and brushed his lips lightly across hers. “Here, I’ll take that.” He reached for her backpack.

      She moved the strap farther up her shoulder. “No. It’s okay.”

      His eyes narrowed briefly, and then the smile was back on his face. He gently set the bucket of eggs down on the grass and slung an arm around her shoulders. Since his arm nestled her tightly against his side, it would’ve been awkward to resist, so she let him lead her. And it felt so good. She wished she could turn into his arms and he’d tell her everything would be okay. She resisted the temptation. It wasn’t going to happen. Nothing was going to be okay ever again, she thought as they walked along.

      Hope could guess where they were going. To the swimming pond on the Hawkins ranch abutting the Carter property. All the kids were welcome to use it. The large rock at the edge of the pond was one of their favorite spots. That was where they’d first kissed. Where they’d first said they loved each other. It was a special, magical place for her, and she knew it was for Luke, too.

      She stopped abruptly. If that was where she told him, the magic would be gone. It didn’t matter to her, or so she tried to convince herself. But was it fair to ruin it for Luke? On the other hand, maybe that was fitting. Maybe it had to happen there. Where it all started would be where it ended, too. Where she’d shatter their dreams.

      They walked in silence, the only sounds the crunching of the dry grass beneath their feet, the whinny of a horse in the distance and the mournful cry of a dove gliding overhead.

      When they reached the rock by the cattail-edged blue-brown water, Luke dropped his arm. As Hope slipped off her backpack and climbed up, Luke took a small bag of crumbled bread from his pocket, which he habitually kept there for the chickens, and held it out to her. She grabbed a handful and began tossing it into the pond. They watched the koi leap and dance as they fed.

      Luke nudged Hope with his shoulder. “So, are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

      It was now or never. “I’ve been thinking... With Mom gone...it changes things.”

      “Oh, СКАЧАТЬ