Pony Express Mail-Order Bride. Rhonda Gibson

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      “What about love?” Rebecca asked.

      Bella shook her head. “I thought someone loved me once, but it turned out he didn’t love me enough. I doubt any man can truly love a woman the way she deserves. So I don’t expect Philip to love me.” She looked out at the rushing water. Darkness began to cut the beauty of the running water off from her view, much like her ex-fiancé had done with love.

      Rebecca’s soft voice penetrated Bella’s thoughts. “Don’t you think Philip deserves love?”

      She stood. “Rebecca, we’ve talked about this. He is in no rush to fall in love any more than I am.”

      “Everyone wants to fall in love, Bella.” Rebecca stood also. She dusted the back of her skirt before retracing their steps.

      Bella felt a harsh laugh bubble up as she fell into step beside her future mother-in-law. “Only those who have never tasted love or who have gotten away unscathed by its cruelty.”

      Rebecca stopped and turned to face Bella. “It’s obvious you’ve been hurt, but as far as I know, Philip has never been in love. He’s never been hurt by it. Will you be the first by not returning his love, should he fall in love with you someday? I only want what is best for my son, so please just think about it before you actually get married.” She searched Bella’s eyes, then turned away.

      Bella fell behind her. Was it possible Philip would fall in love with her? If he did, would her not returning his affections hurt him? He’d been the one to suggest a marriage of convenience. Was she doing the wrong thing by marrying him?

      * * *

      The next morning, Bella still didn’t have any answers. She knew she had to consider Caleb and Mark, but she also worried that she’d be doing Philip an injustice by marrying him.

      All day, she worried about what to do. Rebecca had said there were always choices, but Bella couldn’t see them.

      She felt Philip watching her and looked up. He studied her face as if he was trying to read her mind across the kitchen table. The Young and Armstrong families were eating dinner. They were a noisy bunch and none of them seemed to be paying attention to Bella and Philip.

      They’d said less than ten words to each other during the day. Bella had been busy with the women, cooking, cleaning and planning their wedding. Philip had been with his brothers and his stepfather, Seth.

      This wasn’t the first time she’d felt his eyes upon her after her talk with Rebecca. Had he known what his mother was going to say to her? Did he read the doubt on her face regarding their upcoming wedding?

      She lowered her head and continued eating. Pot roast and potatoes left a dry taste in her mouth. Bella made the decision to talk to Philip again about getting married.

      If he had changed his mind, she wanted to give him the option of calling it off. Would he? And if he did, where would that leave her and the boys? Bella silently prayed that God would take control because at this moment she felt as if she had none.

      * * *

      During the few days that Philip had known Bella, he’d learned that she was quiet. But he sensed there was more to her quietness today than before. She’d seemed upset when she and Rebecca had returned from their walk last night.

      Now that tonight’s meal was complete and the dishes were cleaned, he searched out his future bride. Philip found her in the kitchen standing by the stove. He walked to her and laced his fingers around hers. “Bella, I’d like to have a private word with you.”

      She nodded and laid the towel in her other hand on the counter.

      Philip looked to Fay. She rocked in her rocker by the fireplace. The younger children all played at her feet. “Would you mind keeping an eye on the boys for a few minutes? We won’t be gone long.”

      “I’d be happy to watch them,” Fay replied.

      He smiled his thanks and then pulled Bella toward the front door. Philip noticed the frown on his mother’s face. She’d been quiet since her and Bella’s walk also. What was wrong with her? Rebecca had always been warm and loving to the strays who crossed her doorway. Why was she acting so different with Bella?

      After putting on their coats, they stepped out onto the porch. Philip indicated Bella sit down in one of the chairs that faced the front yard.

      Bella did as he indicated.

      He leaned against the porch rail and studied her, then asked, “What is bothering you? Is it something Ma said?”

      Soft words burst from her lips. “I’m not sure we should get married.”

      Philip had half expected her to say just that. “Why not?”

      Bella stood to face him. Her blue eyes looked deep into his. “Look, I’ve been in love. You haven’t. I don’t want to be the cause of you not finding true love.”

      He took her hand in his once more and pulled her closer to him. “We’ve been through this. I’ve explained that I have no intention of falling in love and why.”

      “I know, but...”

      Philip pulled her even closer. “No buts. I don’t want to fall in love, you said you don’t want to fall in love. Have you changed your mind about that?”

      She shook her head.

      “Then there is no problem. We are getting married for the boys’ sake. Just because we aren’t going to fall in love doesn’t mean we can’t be friends and talk about things. Especially when it is of this importance. Agreed?”

      She took a step even closer. “Agreed.”

      The sweet scent of vanilla wafted toward him and he grinned. Impulsively, Philip bent his head and smelled the side of her neck. He murmured against her neck, “Did you let Joy dab you with vanilla?”

      Bella nodded. Her hair tickled his face.

      Philip pulled away. What was he doing? He grinned down at her. “I thought so.” His little sister loved the scent of vanilla and used it like perfume.

      They were standing so close that Philip felt her shiver. “I suppose we should go back inside.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Do you still want to marry me, Bella?”

      “As long as you are sure this is what you want,” she answered.

      He kissed her forehead. “I do.”

      She shivered again.

      A giggle sounded to his right. He looked up and saw four small faces in the window. Then he heard his little sister announce to the room, “They’re kissing.”

      Philip groaned. “We’d best get back inside.” As he followed her in, Philip admitted to himself that he’d like to have stayed outside a little longer with Bella. He tried to convince himself that it was to assure her that he wanted to marry her, but the truth was, he enjoyed holding her in his arms and watching her cheeks turn a pretty pink.

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