Death’s Jest-Book. Reginald Hill

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СКАЧАТЬ as he could in the pursuit of personal pleasure with no regard whatsoever for the rights and comforts of others. And his father, apparently blind to his defects, did nothing to disabuse him of this belief. His eighteenth birthday present six months earlier had been a canary yellow Lamborghini Diablo and he’d already run up nine penalty points on his licence for speeding. In fact it was suggested by some that had it not been for Wally’s standing in the community and close friendship with several members of the Bench, Liam would have been disqualified long since.

      Well, that was between them and their conscience, thought Pascoe as he headed straight round to the Linford mansion. What was more interesting to him was the fact that Liam had thought to enhance the beauty of his machine by having a grinning black skull stencilled on the bonnet.

      There was a car in the driveway of Linford’s house, but it was a Porsche, not a Lamborghini. Wally Linford himself answered the door, courteously invited him in. Liam was in the lounge, enjoying a drink with his friend, Duncan Robinson, known as Robbo, another young man whose parents had more money than anything else. Pascoe enquired after the Lamborghini. Oh yes, Liam replied, he had been driving it that night. He’d gone to the Trampus Club, met some friends, had a dance and a few drinks, just a few but he realized when he got up to leave that he might be over the limit, so like a good citizen he had accepted a lift home with his old mate, Robbo. Check it out, the Diablo should still be in Trampus’s car park.

      Pascoe made a call. They sat and waited. The reply came. The car wasn’t there.

      Shock! Horror! It must have been stolen, declared Liam.

      And I’m to be Queen of the May, said Pascoe and arrested him. He tested positive both for booze and coke. Put him in the car and he was going down for a long, long time.

      But this didn’t prove easy. Robbo vigorously confirmed Liam’s story, and several other people at the club recalled hearing the lift being offered and accepted before the two of them left together. The Diablo was found nearly eighty miles away, burned out, despite which Forensic managed to find enough traces of blood to make a match with the dead girl’s. So it was definitely the accident vehicle, but the distance involved gave further support to Liam’s story. No way would he have had time to drive that far, torch the car and get back home before Pascoe arrived to arrest him. CPS were shaking their heads very firmly.

      Then a witness came forward, Oz Carnwath, a student at the local Poly earning some money by working at Trampus’s as an occasional barman. He’d been dumping rubbish in the big wheelie bin at the rear door when he saw Liam and his friend cross the car park, each get in his own car, then drive away separately. He’d kept his mouth shut at first, not wanting to get involved, and believing that Liam would get his come-uppance without any help from himself. But when the youth reappeared in the club, boasting that he was home and free, this stuck in Carnwath’s throat and he went to the police.

      So far Robbo had stuck to his story, though not without uneasiness in face of Pascoe’s assurance that, if Liam was found guilty, the police wouldn’t rest till he joined him in jail for attempting to pervert the course of justice. But clearly he was even more scared of what Wally Linford would do if he came clean. In addition he must have been mightily reassured to see the firm of Chichevache, Bycorne and Belchamber retained for the defence.

      But Pascoe suspected Wally wouldn’t put all his trust in legalities, and ordered a close watch to be kept on Carnwath till they got his evidence into the record at the committal proceedings. So far the business with the lost undertaker had been the only scare. And yet …

      He saw Marcus Belchamber coming through the main entrance of the court complex and felt relieved that soon the action would commence. Then it dawned on him that Belchamber was alone. No Liam. No Wally.

      No sodding trial!

      ‘Mr Pascoe, I’m so sorry, but it seems we are wasting our time today. Young Mr Linford is too ill to attend. Possibly the advance guard of this new flu virus which is rife in London. Kung Flu, they call it, a play I assume on Kung Fu, because it knocks you down and leaves you helpless. I have the necessary medical certificate, of course. Forgive me. I must go and apprise the Bench.’

      The man smiled apologetically. One civilized cultured guardian of the law exchanging courtesies with another, both of them engaged in the great pursuit of justice.

      And yet as Pascoe left the court he felt more stitched up than the Bayeux Tapestry.

      With Fat Andy being lunched by the Chief Constable and Pascoe locked in mortal combat with Marcus Belchamber, Wield anticipated having the Black Bull pretty much to himself. And if there were any junior colleagues taking advantage of their superiors’ absence to linger late, one glower from the most frightening features in the Force would send them scurrying back to their desks.

      But the two DC’s he saw as he entered the bar showed no signs of scurrying.

      They were Hat Bowler and Shirley Novello, deep in conversation. Slightly surprising, as he got the impression that Bowler regarded Novello as his most potent rival. Perhaps, both having been wounded in the line of duty, they were swapping scars.

      They stopped talking as he approached.

      ‘Nice to see you, lad,’ he said. ‘When are you due back? Wednesday, isn’t it? Breaking yourself in gradual, is that the idea?’

      ‘Actually, I was hoping to see you, Sarge,’ said Hat.

      ‘Is that right?’ said Wield. ‘I’ll just get myself a pie and a pint first.’

      ‘My shout,’ said Novello.

      As she waited at the bar, she saw Bowler talking earnestly to Wield. She guessed he was telling him the story of returning to his girlfriend’s flat and finding it burgled. He’d come in, looking for Wield, but when she told him that the sergeant had gone out at the end of the morning and not reappeared yet, he had started talking to her, not because he regarded her as a confidante, she guessed, but merely as a rehearsal for what he was going to say to Wield. She suspected there was more to his tale than he’d told her, but now that his true audience was here, she’d probably get to hear the lot.

      When she returned to the table Bowler was just reaching a rhetorical climax.

      ‘So, you see, it’s got to be Charley Penn!’ he pronounced with all the fervour of Galileo reaching the end of his detailed proof that the earth went round the sun.

      Wield was regarding him with all the enthusiasm of an overworked Inquisition officer who didn’t fancy having to attend yet another bonfire at the height of an Italian summer.

      ‘Why so?’ he said.

      ‘Because Lorelei’s that German stuff he messes with, and because he hates me and Rye, and because I’ve got a description … oh hell!’

      ‘Well well well! What’s this? A wounded heroes’ conference? It’s purple hearts all round! And mine’s a pint!’

      Andy Dalziel had burst through the bar-room door, radiating more geniality than a Harrods Santa Claus, but Hat Bowler flinched away from the glow like a scientist in the presence of a reactor gone critical.

      How could this be? he asked himself aghast. Hadn’t he in his cleverness rung the station and established that Pascoe was in court and the Fat Man wasn’t expected back from lunch with the Chief before dusk, leaving the way clear for him to buttonhole Wield in the Bull?

      What Bowler hadn’t made allowances СКАЧАТЬ