The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10. Louise Rennison

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      She said, “Of course. Hang on a minute.” Then I heard her yelling up the stairs, “Mum, will you ask Tom to come down here!”

      I heard a bit of faraway noise then Jas’s mum yelling from upstairs, “Tom says what do you want? He has just set up the computer and can’t come away at the moment.”

      Then I heard Jas yell back, “Well, will you say that Robbie kissed Georgia and said he would call her later and he hasn’t called her yet. Does he know anything about it?”

      I couldn’t believe my ears and it got worse because Jas’s mum joined in, “Robbie kissed Georgie – but he’s going out with Lindsay, isn’t he?”

      Jas yelled back, “Yes, but he’s confused.”

      Then I heard Tom yelling down, “What kind of kiss was it?”

      And Jas said, “I think it was six.”

      I REALLY WANTED TO KILL HER.

      “Jas, Jas, SHUT UP!!!”

      Friday June 25th

      1:00 p.m.

      Lindsay came up to me at lunch break. She’s so wet close up, she’s got really blinky blue watery eyes like a blue-eyed bat. Anyway, old blinky said, “I’ve heard what happened on Saturday.”

      I went a bit pale. “You’ve heard what?” I played for time.

      “I heard that you have been going after my boyfriend.”

      How dare she suggest that I would do such a thing!! I went red and said, “What idiot has been saying that?”

      Lindsay glared at me. “Robbie told me.” I couldn’t take it in. She went on, “He told me how you followed him at the break and then you just flung yourself on him. He said he was sorry for you but also very embarrassed.”

      I spluttered, I couldn’t speak. She went on, “So I’m giving you a warning – don’t be so sad. You’re a silly little girl, don’t let it happen again.” I couldn’t help thinking of the Ancient Egyptians – they used to put long-handled spoons up people’s noses and scoop their brains out. Of course, the people were dead first but in Lindsay’s case there was hardly any difference between alive and dead. I was going to get some spoons and poke them up her beastly, sticky-up nose.

      6:00 p.m.

      Jas is going to gang up on Lindsay with me. I said to her, “Do you think Robbie really said I was sad and I flung myself on him?”

      Jas was a real pal. “No, no, of course not... er... you didn’t, did you?”

      6:30 p.m.

      Oh why this? Why would he be such a pig as to say that? Oh I hate him, I hate him.

      Midnight

      I hate him, I hate him.

      12:30 a.m.

      Oh I love him, I love him.

      

      Thursday July 1st

      Canteen

       1:00 p.m.

      Lindsay put her coffee cup down while she went to get her bag and I spat in it (the coffee cup, not her bag – although I will spit in her bag if I get the chance). I hate her.

      Jackie and Alison get on my nerves even more now they have decided to be my friends. Jackie bought me a bar of chocolate today. It will be an apple next. It’s a pathetic world when twisting someone’s arm up their back gets them buying you things.

      4:00 p.m.

      I’m so angry with Robbie. I want to tell him what I think about him but I have too much pride.

      4:30 p.m.

      Phoned Robbie at home (I got the number from Jas). He answered the phone but I just slammed down the receiver. (And I had done one-four-one as well, haha hahaha.)

      4:45 p.m.

      Phoned Robbie.

      He answered and I said, “Robbie, it’s Georgia.”

      He sort of breathed out and then he said, “Er... I can’t really find that science paper you asked me about, Mike, can I call you later? Thanks. Bye.”

      4:50 p.m.

      Phoned Jas. “What does he mean by calling me Mike?”

      Jas said, “Well, I suppose Lindsay must have been there.”

      5:30 p.m.

      In bed with the curtains closed.

      5:45 p.m.

      Mum came into my room.

      She said, “Do you want to talk about anything?”

      I said, “Yes, suicide.”

      She said, “It can’t be as bad as that.”

      I said, “Well it is, it’s worse. I don’t want to be here any more. I hate school. I hate England.”

      She said, “Well, do you think that maybe a summer trip to New Zealand might cheer you up? We could go over to Disneyland on the way.”

      I said, “I don’t care what I do.”

      6:30 p.m.

      So this is what men are like. Well, that is it, then. I am going to be a lesbian.

      7:00 p.m.

      I got out some photos of Denise Van Outen and tried to imagine kissing her.

      7:05 p.m.

      I can’t do it. And I can’t help thinking about Miss Stamp’s moustache. And the rubbing.

      7:10 p.m.

      I’ll have to be a nun, then.

      8:00 p.m.

      It’s no use, if I pull all my hair back like a nun, it makes my nose look huge. Still, I don’t suppose that matters when you are only saving poor people and making soup for them, like nuns do.

      9:00 p.m.

      The phone rang for me. I said to Mum, “Who is it?” and she said, “I don’t know, it’s a boy.”

      9:30 p.m.

      Robbie СКАЧАТЬ