The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10. Louise Rennison

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      Rosie said, “He’s good, I think Danish boys are better at it than English ones. They change rhythm more.”

      I said, “What do you mean?”

      “You know English boys get really excited and just sort of kiss with the same pressure? Well, he varies the pressure: sometimes it’s gentle and sometimes hard and then middley.”

      I said, “Oh, I like that.”

      Rosie said, “I know, I do too. Apparently all girls do. We like variety whereas boys like the same.”

      I said, “How do you know that?” and she looked a bit smug. “It’s in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.”

      Jools, Ellen, Jas, Patty, Sarah and Mabs all turned up and we got out our jimjams. We watched Grease and kept stopping it and doing bits from it. I did “You’re The One That I Want” on the sofa.

      Then, at about eleven o’clock, the phone rang. I answered and it was Tom wanting to speak to Jas. So Jas went off into the hall and shut the door so we couldn’t hear. When she came back her face was a bit pink. She sort of croaked, “He’s coming round with his mate Leo... ohmyGodohmyGod ohmyGod!”

      11:30 p.m.

      Eating toast and Pop-Tarts when Leo and Tom arrived. They brought their pyjamas too and put them on. What a good laugh. Then Sven turned up – I’d forgotten how big he is... Rosie and he disappeared off and the rest of us watched Grease again. This time the boys joined in. Tom is quite a laugh. I desperately tried not to mention Robbie.

      1:00 a.m.

      Still up and chatting about EVERYTHING!!!! Haven’t seen Rosie and Sven for hours. Surely they must have got past seven by now???

      1:30 a.m.

      Tom and Jas disappeared off and Leo and Ellen went off “to get some air”. Why they think there is no air in the lounge, I don’t know. The rest of us Normans (Norman no mates) decided to dare each other. It started off with taking your knickers off and putting them on your head, and so on, and then I dared Sarah to go and stand on the garden wall and drop her pyjama trousers and knickers.

      She did.

      2:00 a.m.

      Patty and Mabs dared me to streak down to the bottom of the street. They said they would buy me a new lipstick if I did. The “couples” were still away so I thought I’d do it. We went outside (us Normans), all in our jimjams. It was a nice summer night, and there were no houselights on in the streets except for ours. So I took my jimjams off and ran like mad in my nuddy-pants down to the bottom of the street and back. It made us die laughing – the others couldn’t believe that I had done it!!!

      We were all collapsed on the front doorstep when the “couples” came back. I hid behind the others whilst I scrambled into my pyjamas. Tom winked at me. “I should tell my brother what he’s missing.”

      I went purple. “Don’t you dare, Tom. Promise, promise me you won’t!!”

      Tom said, “Do you think that me and Jas should go out with each other again?”

      I said, “Oh yes!! I think you are perfect for each other.”

      And he said, “I’ve always liked you because you are so sincere.”

      At about two thirty the lads went home and we cleared up the house. Please don’t let Tom tell Robbie about the nuddy-pants incident.

      All us girls snuggled up under duvets in the front room, chatting about everything – boys, make-up... lesbians.

      Rosie said, “How do you get to become a lesbian?”

      I said, “Why? Are you going to give it a go?”

      Jas said, “You can’t just give it a go. You can’t just think, Oh, I’ll give being a lesbian a go.”

      Ellen sat up. “A go at what?”

      Jas went a bit red (which is a lot red in anyone else’s language). “Well, have a go at, er, snogging a girl.”

      We all sat up then and went “Erlacck!”

      Rosie said, “Is that what they do, then – snog each other?” Jas (the lesbian spokesperson) said a bit smugly, “Of course they do. They have proper sexual wotsits.”

      Rosie said, “How can they have proper sexual wotsits when they haven’t got... you know, any proper sexual wotsits.”

      I interrupted, “Jas, how come you know so much about it, anyway?”

      She went ludicrously red. Rosie had got all interested now. “But, I mean, what do they do when they haven’t got proper sexual wotsits?”

      I said to Jas, “Go on, then, Miss Expert Knickers. What do they do in the privacy of their own lesbian love-nests?”

      And Jas sort of mumbled something under her duvet. I said, “You don’t know, do you?” and she mumbled again, “Snnubbing.”

      I repeated, “Snubbing. They do snubbing? They snub each other?”

      Jas sat up and said, “No, rubbing.”

      I said “Goodnight” really quickly and we all went to sleep.

      Wednesday June 16th

      6:00 p.m.

      Got a note from Jackie today: We are knocking off school this afternoon and going down town to “get a few things”. We’ll tell you all about the plan at lunch.

      I knew that “getting a few things” meant shoplifting in Jackiespeak. I tried to hide from her at lunchtime but she found me in the loos. I was reading my mag in one of the cubicles – I had my feet off the ground so you couldn’t see there was anyone there but she went into the next-door cubicle and looked over the top of the loo wall.

      She said, “What are you doing?”

      I didn’t look up, I just said, “I’m practising origami.”

      She said, “Are you ready to go? We’ve got lists of what to get and where we will meet later.”

      Suddenly I snapped. I really was sick to death of her and Alison, they didn’t make me laugh or anything, they just kept making me do things I didn’t want to do. I was sick of it. I found myself saying, “I’m not coming and I don’t think you should go either.”

      Jackie was amazed. “Have you become a Christian? I haven’t seen your tambourine. Come on, get your coat and we’ll go over the back fields.”

      I said, “No,” and came out of the cubicle. She followed me and came up close – she is quite big.

      She said, “I think you had better.” Alison was just behind her.

      Then this odd calm voice came out of me. I’d been watching Xena, Warrior Princess and for one stupid moment I thought I was СКАЧАТЬ