Fire in the Soul. Richard L. Morgan

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СКАЧАТЬ out of the bondage if I really meet

      those who, knowing me, have eyes with which to see,

      my spirit twisting, turning to be free.

      —John David Burton

       WHEN TIME STANDS STILL

      Gracious God, for many weeks it was nice to wake up in the morning, laugh at the alarm clock, and set my own schedule. I had a leisurely breakfast, watched the birds at my feeder, and was just plain lazy. The day was like that. And at evening I sat on the deck and watched the sunset until the stars appeared. It was great. But now, months later, every day seems the same. I’m by myself a lot, and have simply run out of things to do. I’ve rearranged my scrapbooks, watched old reruns, and played with my computer. God, I’m tired of this free time. I had hoped that retirement would be different—exciting new adventures, travel. I guess I read too many ads in retirement magazines that promised the moon. Now reality has set in. I know I shouldn’t complain, but I can tell you how I feel. I promise not to whine or recline, but I need to do a lot of work on myself so I can hear your voice calling me to new directions. Amen.

       BUSYNESS

      God My Help Now, it seems so incongruous that I feel more rushed and pulled in different directions than I ever did before I retired. At times it feels good to be busy, when I swing into action and check off my daily “to do”list. I pride myself that I am not really retired. And yet being busy is not what you want for me. I need time to reflect, to be with you, to be with myself, to be with others. When my calendar is so clocked full of activities, I get out of whack. Teach me to be active, but not busy. Help me to balance quiet with service. May these years find me growing in grace, not just doing more things. Amen.

       A BUSY, FRANTIC LIFE

      How is it, my God, that you have given me this hectic, busy life when I have so little time to enjoy your presence? Throughout the day people are waiting to speak with me, and even at meals I have to continue talking to people about their needs and problems. During sleep itself I am still thinking and dreaming about the multitude of concerns that surround me. I do all this not for own sake, but for yours. To me my present pattern of life is a torment; I only hope that for you it is truly a sacrifice of love. I know that you are constantly beside me, yet I am usually so busy that I ignore you. If you want me to remain so busy, please force me to think about and love you even in the midst of such hectic activity. If you do not want me so busy, please release me from it, showing how others can take over my responsibilities.

      —Teresa of Avila, 1515–82

       A PRAYER FOR KAIROS TIME

      It has been a difficult time, bountiful God, since the first exciting days of retirement ended. At first I went around as if in a daze, so thankful for this new time for myself. Now I feel marooned in a barren wilderness, with no clue as to where I go from here. Time seems to drag on, even more so than when I was working. I am so accustomed to clock time, with neatly lined blocks of my carefully pocketed day-timer, that I don’t know how to handle this change. So I wait for your kairos time, when all these jagged pieces will fall into place and I will see clearly your will for me in this new time of my life. As you sent Jesus in the fullness of kairos time, help me to find my kairos time as well. Amen.

       EVERYONE’S PRAYER

      I lift up my heart, O God, for all who are the prey of anxious fears, who cannot get their minds off themselves and for whom every demand made on them fills them with foreboding, and with the feeling they cannot cope with what is required of them.

      Give them the comfort of knowing that this feeling is illness, not cowardice; that millions have felt as they feel, that there is a way through this dark valley, and light at the end of it.

      Lead them to those who can help them and understand them and show them the pathway to health and happiness. Comfort and sustain them by the loving presence of the Saviour who knows and understands all our woe and fear, and give them enough courage to face each day, and rest their minds in the thought that thou wilt see them through.

      —Charles Wesley, 1707–88

       SPINNING TOPS

      How strange—

      we are all so ardent in our piety

      so careful not to slip up

      so intent on making our individual lives

      count in the scheme of things

      tyrannized by overful diaries

      driven by the echo of our ‘well done.’

      And where does it all lead?

      Spinning round like tops

      we spiral down before

      You in now grubby, tattered clothes

      Out of breath.

      Deal gently with us, Lord.

      —Kathy Keay

       THE TOUCH OF THE MASTER’S HAND

      O Master, we are like an old violin. We used to play a great tune, but now we seem old and frail, marred by life. At times we feel useless, of little worth anymore because we are out of the limelight and forced to play cameo roles. But the music is still there!

      O Master, take the strings of our lives and make them vibrate once more. Some may want to discard us as old concertos, but your touch can resurrect our music. Some may want to relegate us to the museum of life, but your touch can send new music from the strings of our hearts. Amen.

       A PRAYER FROM THE AIR

      Lord of heavens, my one true pilot, sitting here in this airplane as we descend to the ground reminds of me these retirement years. The power has been cut, the pitch of the droning engines has changed, and the nose dips, and I know that the flight will soon end. There has come a definitive moment, a feeling signaling that the rush of life has ended, and I am moving into the final phase of my existence. As in the case of the plane’s descent, nothing has really changed but things have begun to wind down around me. I am clearing out some of the clutter in my life, thinning out some activities and beginning to take seriously the mystery of death and dying. So, even as the psalmist prayed, “If I take the wings of the morning, and settle at the farthest limits of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me and your right hand shall hold me fast”(Ps. 139:9-10). I put my trust in your hands, knowing you will guide me home. Amen.

       AT NIGHT

      O Lord God, who has given us the night for rest, I pray that in my sleep my soul may remain awake to you, steadfastly adhering to your love. As I lay aside my cares to relax and relieve my mind, may I not forget your infinite and unresting care for me. And in this way, let my conscience be at peace, that when I rise tomorrow, I am refreshed in body, mind and soul.

      —John Calvin,1509–64

       FOR EXTENDED LIFE

      Loving Creator, medical science has indeed extended our years and we are grateful, yet we wonder what this means. We know that being seventy or eighty is nothing strange in these days, but just another stage of life with its opportunities and СКАЧАТЬ