Stepping Forward Together: Creating Trust and Commitment in the Workplace. Mac Ph.D. McIntire

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СКАЧАТЬ attitude?” Paul asked.

      “I was just about to tell you that,” I said. “But then I thought of a couple more important points about reactions that might be helpful to understand before I move on.

      “Now I want you to ponder my next question carefully,” I said, pausing for effect.

      “Did a bad reaction actually have to happen in order to close people down?”

      Paul thought for a moment. “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

      “‘You’ll get fired for that,’” I said, giving him the answer to the question in my statements. “‘THEY’LL never allow that.’ ‘MANAGEMENT won’t support it.’ ‘The BOSS doesn’t like it.’ ‘It will never get approved.’ ‘That’s not what THEY want.’ ‘We tried that once.’ ‘Don’t let THEM catch you doing that.’ ‘You’ll get in trouble if you do that.’ ‘Trust me, THEY’LL never follow-through.’ ‘Don’t let me ever catch you doing that again.’ ‘Just do what THEY want!’”

      “I see what you mean,” Paul said, reflectively.

      “I call these comments ‘killer phrases’. Killer phrases are statements people make that close others down without any attempt to verify the integrity of the statement. The dismissive statement is accepted as true without question, closing down any action the individual may have proposed. Even though it can’t be verified that anyone has, indeed, ‘been fired’ for an action, the mere mention that someone might be fired can cause a person to forsake their desire to act.”

      Paul huffed and shook his head again. “I can almost hear some of the killer phrases that are used at my plant. It seems like every time we try to do something new, someone makes a comment that kills any initial enthusiasm there might have been for the project.”

      He grew silent and glanced out the window of the plane.

      “Just a few weeks ago I was conducting a meeting where I introduced a new production process to our assembly line supervisors. I thought everyone would like the idea. A few of the younger supervisors seemed enthusiastic about it until one of the more seasoned managers spoke at length about why it wouldn’t work. After that, everyone was suspicious of the new process.

      “People make a lot of ‘closing’ statements in organizations, don’t they?” he lamented.

      “Yes. Unfortunately, the first reaction of a lot of people to any new idea is a negative reaction. Their first comment when a new idea is presented is often critical and pessimistic. Good ideas get killed because people respond negatively to them.”

      Paul agreed. “I wish I could control my own killer statements.”

      “Yes, I wish I could control mine too,” I bemoaned. “You would think I would know better, but I find myself making killer statements far too often. My wife swears negativity is in my blood because my blood type is B-negative.”

      Paul burst out laughing.

      “That’s why it’s so important for each of us to become conscious about what we say and do. Instead of reacting we need to respond to the situation. Reactions just pop out, and often they pop out poorly. That’s why we need to take a moment and think of our response before we react inappropriately.”

      I wrote down the fourth key point about reactions.

      “So, in some instances the bad reaction did not have to happen at all to close you down. Just the mere hint that a bad reaction might happen can cause people to close. Rumors, gossip or killer statements can close people down faster than reality.

      “I once had a manager tell me that after he opened up in a meeting and shared his thoughts with the president of the company, a colleague passed him a folded note warning that he may not want to be so open. The note said: ‘Beware: Dead Manager Walking.’”

      “I’ve felt that way sometimes after I’ve opened up,” Paul confessed.

      “Finally, one last point,” I added. “Did my reaction to you in this little role play have to be as dramatic as I demonstrated in order to cause you to close down?”

      “No.”

      “I didn’t have to yell at you, did I? My reaction could have been as simple as a stern look, an uncomfortable pause, a sarcastic tone, or a sharp retort. Anything – my facial expression, body posture, tone, volume, intensity, word choice – anything that you perceive to be negative has the potential of closing you down. Consequently, the bad reaction did not have to be dramatic to close you down. Sadly, the bad reaction may not be all that bad, yet still closes someone down.”

      “That’s true.”

      “That’s why it’s so difficult to get people to open up,” I hammered. “Sometimes a boss’ mere expression of a divergent opinion can close people down who are in the clutches of risk avoidance. Even the slightest hint of a negative reaction can cause people to clam up. And CLOSED people are a long way from COMMITMENT.”

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