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СКАЧАТЬ to reverse the folding of his arms. It took a moment, but he finally got it. He smiled and shook his head in frustration at having to struggle with such a simple task as folding his arms.

      “How does it feel?” I asked.

      “Weird. Uncomfortable.”

      “You’ve just experienced a change. And, as with almost all changes, it feels weird and uncomfortable.”

      I told Paul that from now on whenever he folded his arms in the future he had to fold his arms this new way. “This is the right way to fold your arms.” I firmly declared. “Anytime you fold your arms from this moment forward, you must do it the right way – this new way. This is my policy for folding arms.

      “I want to make sure I’m clear,” I stressed. “From now on you will fold your arms this new way, not the way you used to do it. Are you clear on the new policy? Do you know what I expect from you regarding folding your arms in the future?”

      Paul looked at me as if I were crazy.

      “So, what question is going through your head right now?” I asked.

      “Why?”

      “Remember that,” I counseled. “You’ve just learned something very important about change. People always want to know why the change is necessary before they will commit to it. I will explain more about the importance of the why questions later, but for now, my answer to your question about why you need to fold your arms the new way is: ‘Because that’s my policy.’”

      “But why?” Paul asked again.

      I smiled at Paul’s response. “You’re just like those whiney employees: always asking why. Like I said, I’ll come back to that in a minute.”

      I then told Paul he could unfold his arms, waited a couple of seconds and then quickly told him to fold his arms again, the new way, clapping my hands to speed him up. I watched as he again struggled to fold his arms the right way. He was a model of incompetence. He obviously had to think about it before he could get it right. He first folded his arms the old way, the way he used to do it. Then, after reminding himself of how he used to do it, he switched and did it the new way.

      “What’s wrong, Paul? Why did it take you so long to get it right?” I queried.

      “I guess I’m stupid,” Paul responded.

      “No, you’re incompetent. But don’t take it personally. What you’re really doing is modeling someone who is in the process of learning to change. There are some key things you just modeled that will help you understand how people react to change.

      “The first thing managers need to realize whenever a change is implemented is most people will not be able to competently perform the task in the early stage of the change,” I explained. “It may take a while for some people to figure out how to ‘fold their arms’ properly. When employees are learning new tasks, you need to give them time to work through their incompetence. You can’t expect people to adapt and commit to a change immediately. It seldom happens that way.”

      I stressed that when people are learning a new task or process, they need an encouragement and reinforcement while they struggle to become competent in the new endeavor. Managers should never yell, threaten, discipline, or criticize people when they’re learning. They should never talk down, belittle, or be sarcastic with those who are struggling to learn. When people are dealing with their own incompetence it can often look like resistance; but they’re not resisting the change, they’re fighting their incompetence. They just need time to work through it. What may look and sound like resistance may actually be fear of personal failure.

      Some people may need more time than others. Needing more time doesn’t mean people are slow or bad. It means they are learning. People adjust to change at different speeds. Good managers know they need to be patient when implementing change, particularly large scale change that requires a great deal of adjustment. Managers can greatly accelerate the commitment process by being supportive, rather than critical, of those who seem reluctant to change. Sadly, far too many managers wrongly use discipline or threats when their employees are struggling to learn a new skill, hoping it will motivate them to improve.

      “Never use yelling, threats, sarcasm, belittling comments or punishment as a training tool. It’s not helpful and it doesn’t work!” I counseled. “You cannot achieve a positive outcome by negative means. You cannot get people to commit to the action you want by yelling, threatening, belittling or punishing them. Those things don’t cause people to move toward what you want them to do; it only makes them move away from you.”

      I really wanted Paul to understand and accept this point.

      “When people are learning, you need to be quick to reinforce and slow to point out mistakes. Help people get it right by encouraging them and reinforcing their progress as they learn to ‘fold their arms’ the new way.”

      I could tell Paul was thinking about his own behaviors and how he interacted with others both at work and at home. He had written himself some notes while I was speaking.

      “One last thing to think about: How long are your children in the learning stage while they’re in your home?” I asked.

      “They’re always learning,” Paul rightly answered. “Even when they’re adults, there are still things they can learn from their parents.”

      “So, do you ever yell at your children? Do you ever threaten them or punish them? Do you ever talk down to your kids or criticize or belittle them?” I pressed, wanting him to internalize my point. He didn’t respond, but I could tell he understood.

      “You may want to remember that,” I stressed. “If it’s true that children are always learning, then it might be helpful to realize that employees are always learning, too. The business environment is constantly changing. There are always new policies, procedures, processes or systems to learn. So purge yelling, criticism, condescending comments, threats and punishment from your repertoire of communication methods – both at home and at work.”

      There were several other important lessons about change I wanted Paul to learn from the arm-folding exercise, so I continued talking about the demonstration.

      “Did you notice you went back to the old way of folding your arms when I told you to fold your arms the second time? Why was that?” I asked.

      “I didn’t even think about it. I did it out of habit.”

      I explained some people naturally go back to the old way after a change is implemented, without even noticing they did it. This isn’t out of resistance or malice. It’s natural for people to fall back into old patterns and habits. It takes a long time to engrain into one’s consciousness the fact that the silverware drawer has been moved. They may keep going back to the old way out of habit long after the change has been implemented.

      It’s also easier and more comfortable for them to fold their arms the old way. This is not resistance to the change; its avoiding being incompetent.

      Another reason why people go back to the old way is to help them remember the new way. Sometimes people have to momentarily revert to the old way in order to recall the new way they are supposed to perform. Some people cannot access the new instructions in their brain and do what they know they are supposed to do until they refer back to the old map and recall where they have been. Then, getting their bearings from old landmarks, they can then proceed in the new direction.

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