Not Out of Hate. Ma Ma Lay

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СКАЧАТЬ his head, the end of the turban falling behind him over his shoulders and halfway down his thighs. Accompanying him inside the door was a young man with a light complexion and gold teeth.

      U Saw Han, who had been walking along with both hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts, took them out as he entered the house and, removing his pith helmet, glanced in Way Way’s direction before replying to her father. Way Way caught his calm, steady smile and blushed furiously, feeling suddenly vulnerable and defenseless.

      “I did get some sleep,” he proceeded to say to U Po Thein. “This,” presenting the young man with gold teeth, “is my secretary. We’ve already found a building near the bazaar for our office.”

      Although U Po Thein had risen from his seat and pulled out a chair for him to sit on, U Saw Han continued standing with his pith helmet in his hands as he spoke. U Po Thein’s face smiled pleasantly and nodded at U Saw Han’s secretary.

      Then U Po Thein said, “This is U Kya Ngan, a paddy broker,” introducing the Chinese broker, who had been leaning on the handle of his curved walking stick and staring at the newcomer.

      He was so happy to be introduced that he stood up and said in Burmese (with a Chinese accent), “Pleased to meet you, sir.¹⁴ Please let us know if we can help you in any way.”

      U Saw Han looked at the smiling, eager face of the Chinese man and said sedately, “Thank you very much.” Way Way saw Gaw Naw and U Than Kyu, the two tenant farmers, gaping at U Saw Han and began to criticize them in her mind, thinking them very uncouth. She was ashamed and embarrassed at what U Saw Han would think of their sitting room. Glancing at the table, she saw the white enamel tray holding a teapot with a broken spout and cups set out for the plain green tea traditionally offered to visitors to a Burmese household. Her heart turned over for fear he might notice.

      U Po Thein was saying, “There’s no need to feel embarrassed about anything. The house we arranged for you isn’t very nice, and we feel badly about it. We’ll call a carpenter to mend the gate. If you need anything, please let me know.”

      U Saw Han appeared rather forbidding, but he spoke politely. “Thank you. I apologize for bothering you with finding me a house. If there is anything you want to see me about, please feel free to come to my office. The hours are from 8:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon and 3:00 to 5:00 A.M.”

      Way Way could hardly believe her ears, listening to him say this in abrupt and halting Burmese. She thought, Here we are living next door to each other, and the man says to come and see him in his office! What incredible formality!

      U Po Thein had realized from the start, when U Saw Han refused to sit in the chair he was offered, that he was not reacting as a Burmese would in a situation set up for natural conviviality. He was deliberately keeping aloof, not wanting to mix.

      “Well then, … I will take my leave now,” said U Saw Han. Way Way did not look up. She could not raise her head. Her heart fluttered madly until the sound of his footsteps died away. In her mind she could still see U Saw Han’s reserved face, in contrast to the circle of smiling friendly faces. He was quite good-looking, with a wide forehead, shapely nose, and an air of distinction about him.

      “The man seems quiet and poised and very dignified in his ways, U Kya Ngan,” remarked U Po Thein, “but very English. Seems he went to work with the company after finishing his degree not too long ago.”

      U Kya Ngan, pouring himself some tea, gave his opinion, “Not bad. Seems nice enough. Quite good-natured.”

      Daw Thet entered from the back room. “What in the world? Has he gone already? I just saw him a minute ago and went back to order some coffee. Oh dear, you didn’t urge him to stay.” Scolding and talking in this fashion, she turned to Meh Aye, the servant girl, and said, “Well then, girl, give the coffee to the Chinese gentleman.”

      Seeing the black lacquer tray on which sat coffee cups with coffee spilled into the saucers, Way Way thought, It’s just as well they were brought in only after he left.

      7. Traditional turban-like headgear worn by men.

      8. The length of the longyi, and the fact that it was not brand-new, indicates the wearer’s servant status.

      9. A dessert made from a special kind of rice.

      10. A pungent, anchovy-like fish paste used widely in Burmese cooking and also served as an accompaniment to rice and raw or cooked vegetables.

      11. Names of large British trading firms.

      12. A polite term referring to Indians, also used as a form of address.

      13. The ceremony initiating a young boy into the Buddhist monkhood. It is always celebrated as lavishly as the family’s means permit.

      14. The speaker uses bogyi, a term of address referring to Englishmen.

       3

      The 8th day of the waning moon in December.

      Dear daughter,

      I am replying to your letter. I am glad to hear that you will try to abide by the advice and precepts I wrote to you about in my last letter.

      I would like to further explain the Four Noble Truths of the Most Excellent Law, to help your understanding as you meditate upon them.

      The Law of Truth has four principles; they are the principle of pain and suffering, the principle of the origin of pain and suffering, the principle of the cessation of pain and suffering, and the principle of the Way. Of these, the principle of pain and suffering and the principle of their origin are of this world; the principle of their cessation and the principle of the Way go beyond this world.

      The pain of being born, the pain of growing old, the pain of sickness, the pain of living with those we do not love, the pain of separation from those we do love, either in life or by death … such instances of the principle of pain afflict all living beings. Those who are afflicted by such suffering cannot be happy. Those who have themselves experienced it know the principle of pain to be a fact. Until suffering and unendurable pain comes one may, perhaps, live in contentment, but grief and mourning can consume the sufferer like a fire ablaze. If you examine the origin of the principle of pain and suffering, you will find that it lies in the tug of desire and the deceit of ignorance.

      My daughter, the desire represented by sexual love leads to new life and the renewal of existence. If one is too attached to life in this plane of existence, this in itself is the principle of origination that brings pain into being, through desire and wanting.

      This unworthy Law of Desire inevitably gives rise to suffering and misery. Each living person, each living creature, wishes to experience sensual pleasure but does not know or think that this will lead to pain and suffering.

      The extinguishing of all suffering is Nirvana, which is freedom from greed and freedom from all defilements. The state of Nirvana is perfect calm and serenity, with no more death, change, or rebirth for mankind or celestial beings. The noble Law of Nirvana is the concern of the contemplative monk who is capable of winning the knowledge or wisdom of Nirvana … The capacity to see everything in a state of flux can be attained by ascetics through practicing for eons … a hundred thousand or hundreds of thousands of years.

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