Morals and Manners in Islam. Marwan Ibrahim Al-Kaysi

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      The function of ādāb al-Islām in unifying Muslim communities, as well as being an expression of their unity, is clear. But ādāb al-Islām are not just about coherence or consistency of behaviour; they are about coherence or consistency of right behaviour. The notion of ‘proper’ conduct may not, in Islam, be separated from the notion of ‘good’ deeds, nor from ‘faith’ and ‘devotion’. Faith and good deeds are both necessary in this world for a prosperous and ideal society in which there is mutual and shared responsibility. And in the Hereafter, faith and good deeds are the necessary conditions for forgiveness and salvation, for admission to Paradise. A large number of verses in the Qur’ān link faith and good deeds as defining characteristics of a true Muslim.

Goals

      In Islam, what is ‘central’ and ‘essential’ is determined by its broad relation to the goals of Islam, among which is the civilization or advancement of human society, the promotion of happiness and prosperity, material as well as moral. On examination, the prescriptions and prohibitions which form part of Islamic teachings will be seen to be not arbitrary decrees but an ordered system of commandments whose purpose (besides testing man’s obedience and loyalty to God) is the advancement of man, according to a safe, proper and perfect course, at the individual, family and societal levels. The details of ādāb al-Islām are not meaningless formalities, unwelcome to the individual because they are unrelated to the actual needs of his personal or social life. On the contrary, they directly address the different basic functions that concern all members of society at almost every moment of their lives. They are intended to concentrate attention on the central and essential, to rescue man from the peripheral and distracting. They distinguish means from ends and help individual and community to administer personal and collective resources effectively. It may be helpful to illustrate this general point by listing the basic human needs and functions as they are viewed within the perspective of ādāb al-Islām:

      1. Clothes are primarily intended to protect the wearer against the climate, and to conceal parts of the body.

      2. The purpose of housing is to provide shelter from the climate and to secure necessary privacy and safety.

      3. Cleanliness, as well as protecting man from disease, expresses his humanity.

      4. Adornment, make-up, etc. are a woman’s means to look attractive and pleasant before her husband.

      5. Speech is important as a means of communication, serving in the essential functions of exchange and relationship with other people, such as buying, selling, etc.

      6. Humour reduces tension and relaxes people at a gathering.

      7. Gifts are meant to express goodwill and to foster good relations with others.

      8. Inviting others to eat, sharing food with others, makes and strengthens social bonds.

      9. Social relations themselves are valued because they prevent or limit isolation of the individual. Social customs are valued because they create stability and harmony in social relations.

      10. Graves are primarily for honouring the dead, but also to protect the living from the decaying corpse.

      11. Animals, in direct relation to man, are intended to be used only for specific purposes such as provision of food, labour, transport. They are not meant to be used by man for his entertainment as, for instance, when animals are set against each other.

      It will be immediately obvious that, without the restraint of ādāb al-Islām, all these means become ends, destroying a proper sense of values and priorities. Clothes, houses, parties, gifts, drain the resources of individual and community, as people (having lost sight of the true function of these things) spend money in a fruitless endeavour to prove to others their greater purchasing power; in their world the ability to waste goods is a proof of personal success and of the success of the society to which they belong. The consequences of self-adornment or amusement becoming ends in themselves can be measured in the fortunes devoted to these activities by the vast majority in Western countries and, by increasing numbers in Muslim countries. But the real cost of so defying the realities of human accountability under God’s law, is the loss of the soul of each individual who hurries fretfully from one escapism to another, seeking to be always excited or distracted and, whenever he catches himself alone, feeling profoundly empty and wretched.

      Ādāb al-Islām are designed to avoid such ungrateful waste of human potential, and encourage man to exercise that potential in full conformity with the true purposes and realities of his life. The rules of conduct for a Muslim life contain sound wisdom, whether viewed in religious, cultural, social, economic, psychological or even medical terms. It follows that, for a healthy, balanced life, individual and community should apply these rules comprehensively and conscientiously. Wherever they are applied, two things must always be borne in mind, namely kindness and consideration. Among the root meanings of ‘Islam’ (besides surrender or submission) is peace; a ‘Muslim’ is one who has submitted to the decrees of God, who has sought to make peace with God and His creatures. Moreover, the Prophet defines a ‘Muslim’ as one who does not harm others by hand or tongue.

Kindness and Gentleness

      According to a saying of the Prophet, kindness is required in every instance of Muslim conduct. One of tile main ends of ādāb al-Islām is to train people to be kind and gentle in every matter and toward every thing. The following examples will illustrate:

      1. Speaking should be loud enough to be audible to those addressed, never louder.

      2. Bad or objectionable language should be avoided.

      3. Laughter should not be characterized by loud or unpleasant sounds.

      4. Weeping should be restrained and polite, not hysterically loud or abandoned.

      5. Eating and drinking should be done at a gentle, dignified pace.

      6. It is proper for a Muslim to restrain his anger, keeping himself within the bounds of courtesy.

      7. Parents should give their children beautiful, meaningful names, and avoid names indicating difficulty and sadness.

      8. Tenderness should be a most essential element in the lovemaking process.

      9. Smiling at other people when meeting them is recommended.

      10. Looking pleasantly at others while conversing with them is required as polite conduct.

      11. It is necessary that a Muslim be gentle when criticizing others for something they might have done.

Consideration For Others

      Inflicting any kind of harm or offence physically, psychologically or morally must be avoided. In the words of the Prophet, ‘There should be neither harming nor reciprocating harm.’⁸

      Anything done or said with disregard for others is not considered proper Muslim conduct. In fact, good behaviour in Islam depends to a large extent on showing consideration toward others. The contribution of ādāb al-Islām in this regard is enormous. Just a few examples will illustrate:

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