Ordinary Sins. Jim Heynen

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       ORDINARY SINS

      Also by Jim Heynen

       The Man Who Kept Cigars in His Cap

       A Suitable Church

       You Know What Is Right

       One Hundred Over 100

       The One Room Schoolhouse

       Being Youngest

       Cosmos Coyote and William the Nice

       The Boys’ House: New and Selected Stories

       Standing Naked: New and Selected Poems

       The Fall of Alice K.

      

      The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

      © 2014, Text by Jim Heynen

      © 2014, Cover and interior art by Tom Pohrt

      All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical articles or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher: Milkweed Editions, 1011 Washington Avenue South, Suite 300, Minneapolis, Minnesota 55415.

      (800) 520-6455

       www.milkweed.org

      Published 2014 by Milkweed Editions

      Cover design by Gretchen Achilles/Wavetrap Design

      Cover illustration by Tom Pohrt

      Author photo by Anne Lennox

      14 15 16 17 18 5 4 3 2 1

       First Edition

      Milkweed Editions, an independent nonprofit publisher, gratefully acknowledges sustaining support from the Bush Foundation; the Jerome Foundation; the Lindquist & Vennum Foundation; the McKnight Foundation; the National Endowment for the Arts; the Target Foundation; and other generous contributions from foundations, corporations, and individuals. Also, this activity is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a Minnesota State Arts Board Operating Support grant, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund, and a grant from the Wells Fargo Foundation Minnesota. For a full listing of Milkweed Editions supporters, please visit www.milkweed.org.

      Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

      Heynen, Jim, 1940–

       [Short stories. Selections]

       Ordinary sins : after Theophrastus : stories / Jim Heynen ; illustrated by Tom Pohrt. — First edition.

      pages ; cm

       ISBN 978-1-57131-880-0

       I. Pohrt, Tom. II. Title.

       PS3558.E87A6 2014

       813’.54—dc23

      2014018350

      Milkweed Editions is committed to ecological stewardship. We strive to align our book production practices with this principle, and to reduce the impact of our operations in the environment. We are a member of the Green Press Initiative, a nonprofit coalition of publishers, manufacturers, and authors working to protect the world’s endangered forests and conserve natural resources. Ordinary Sins was printed on acid-free 100% postconsumer-waste paper by Edwards Brothers Malloy.

      CONTENTS

Preface: After Theophrastus?

Part I. Who Jingled His Change

Who Jingled His Change

The Hoarder

Who Loved Her Dog

Who Loved Combustion Engines

The Helper

Who Loved Animals More Than People

The Hardware Store Man

The Chapstick Guy

The Would-Be Polygamist

       The Lepidopterist

       Who Didn’t Like to Have People Watch Him Eat

       Who Talked to His Bees

       The Worrier

       The Wondrous Quiet Life

       The Man Who Resembled a Pig

       Part II. What’s Candy to an Artist?

       What’s Candy to an Artist?

       Daycare

       The Girl and the Cherry Tree

       Children’s Play

       The Faker

       The Boy Who Couldn’t Conform

       The Checkout Clerk

       The Boy with the Boom Box and the Old Farmer

       Finding Her First Job after College

       Part III. Sad Hour

       Sad Hour

       The Love Addicts

       The Eulogist

       Who Lived in a Separate Reality

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