The Success Lie. Janelle Bruland

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СКАЧАТЬ I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”11Ware found this to be the most common regret of all of them, as well as the one that seemed to cause the most frustration as her client’s realizations came too late.12 Are you living a life that is true to yourself? If this is not clear to you, you will have a chance to discover the answer as you work through the next couple of chapters.

      2 “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”13I have to admit to struggling with this one when I read this research – perhaps because it needs my attention. A strong work ethic is an admirable thing. I recall my parents showing my siblings and I a good example of working hard and teaching us to do the same - a principle I now teach my own children. The problem comes when work becomes all-consuming and supersedes everything else in your life.

      3 “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.”14So often we allow fears to hold us back. Many people keep things inside in order to “keep the peace” with others. However, when this is done too often you lose part of yourself, along with the ability to truly become everything you are capable of and live the life you are meant to have.

      4 “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”15Loving relationships are the key to a rich and fulfilled life. In the last chapter we talked about friends and family as one of the seven main areas of life. This is an area where we can fall into automatic living and take for granted these important relationships.

      5 “I wish I had let myself be happier.”16You may believe you don’t have the power to make your own path. Together we are uncovering this lie and you will discover that happiness is a choice. You don’t have to remain stuck in old patterns and habits – instead you can break free to the life you have always wanted.

      As you review this list, what is the greatest regret you have as you look over the life you have lived so far? Is one of these a particular “watch” area for you? Take a moment to think about it and write it down.

      One of the most difficult, yet most useful exercises I have ever done was writing my own eulogy. Starting with the end in mind, I wrote what I wanted people to remember about me when my life on earth was done. What legacy did I want to leave? What impact did I want to have on the world around me? What would I want those who knew me to say about what I had done with my life? Though understandably a bit morbid, taking the time to do a similar exercise for yourself will be most helpful in determining what you need to be doing now.

      Look ahead and think about yourself at the age of 100. As your 100-year-old self, what would you say about the life you are living? In the challenge section at the end of the chapter I have provided some questions to ask yourself. Think about this now, so you don’t get to 100 and look back at your life with regret.

      I developed a Legacy Timeline exercise that is a helpful tool to review the decades of your life so far – the significant events, the various seasons, the highs and lows, and how they have shaped you into the person you are today. Once you go through the process of filling out the timeline, you then go back and review the last few decades. How have your life experiences impacted you and others and shaped your legacy?

      The second part of the timeline exercise is to go forward into the next two decades – a 20-year outlook. What do you want to add to the timeline? Think about and write down what you wish to intentionally create in the coming season to begin fulfilling the legacy you want to leave.

      As we come to the end of this chapter, let me leave you with some personal thoughts on this topic of legacy from my esteemed colleagues:

       I will give more and take less.

       I will speak into the lives of others.

       I will ask myself, “What is the right thing to do?”

       Each one of us has more impact than we realize.

       If you are doing the right thing, the legacy part will take care of itself.

      The decision is yours. You can continue to live on automatic and take things as they come, or you can choose to live intentionally. Take charge and design your best life – one that is destined to leave a positive legacy. It’s up to you. No one can do it for you. Let’s make the most out of the one exciting life that we have.

      Challenge Questions

      Evaluate Regrets

      Review the list of regrets in this chapter and answer the following questions:

      1 What’s your greatest regret as you look over the life you have lived so far?

      2 What do you want to change so this is no longer an issue for you? Take a moment to write it down.

      3 Of the five top regrets listed, what are one or two that resonate the most for you as an area you need to watch?

      Challenge Exercise

      START WITH THE END

      Look ahead and imagine your life as your 100-year-old self. Take the time to answer the following questions:

       As you look back on your many years of living, what have been your most meaningful experiences?

       What have you accomplished that makes you most proud?

       What legacy are you leaving for your children? For this world?

       What do you want others to say about you when you leave this earth? They will either say positive things, negative things, or have nothing to say at all.

      Taking the time for this exercise will help you determine the choices you want to make now so you won’t ever have to look back with regret later.

      Chapter 5

      The Juggling Act

       “Today I will focus on the important, and not allow myself to be kidnapped by the urgent.”

      Earlier this year my family and I visited beautiful Victoria, British Columbia to enjoy the world-famous Buskers Festival. The weather was warm, and the atmosphere surreal as we enjoyed the sights and sounds of the famous Inner Harbor with the majestic Parliament Buildings, Royal BC Museum, and the enchanting Empress Hotel – a grand structure built in 1908 with lush green ivy trailing the stone walls, and traditional afternoon tea being served in their elegant foyer. The walkways along the waterfront were filled with street performers from all over the world who mesmerized us with their comedy shows and juggling acts, and their daring feats, from balancing atop high poles to fire throwing.

      As leaders in fast paced businesses going seven days a week, we can often feel like street performers juggling several balls at once. We have gotten quite savvy at the juggling, but it takes extreme focus and energy to continue with this balancing act, and we fear any moment we may not just drop one ball but several.

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