Step into Your Moxie. Alexia Vernon

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СКАЧАТЬ the message that most often appears in your head when you find yourself thinking about stepping into your moxie. Then identify whether it’s coming from your Critic, Cop, or Cheerleader.

       Example

      Message: Lex, you are a sorceress of suck, and you have nothing of value to offer the world.

      Whose Voice? The Critic

      Then identify the question your Coach can ask when this voice starts to speak. The question should be short, easy to remember, and able to fast-track you back to being in your moxie.

       Example

      COACH’S QUESTION

      • What’s a moment of personal awesomeness I can remind myself of?

       Now it’s your turn!

      Not sure what your Coach can say to reset your power in the moment and, ultimately, long-term? Here are a few of my favorite Coach questions, by category.

       Favorite Coach Questions

      FOR CRITICS

      • What’s a more accurate depiction of myself?

      • What would I say if [insert name of loved one] talked about him- or herself this way?

      • When have I been resilient in the past?

      FOR COPS

      • What are other possible options?

      • How is my judgment undermining me?

      • Who do I need to forgive to set myself free?

      FOR CHEERLEADERS

      • Who can I ask for help?

      • What can I take off my plate?

      • How can I adjust my timeline?

      QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

      • What would be the payoff for asking your Coach’s question each time the message you identified above pops into your head?

      • How is the answer you get when you ask your Coach question not only empowering but also a more accurate reflection of who you are — than what your Critic, Cop, or Cheerleader says?

      • How might the voice(s) of your Critics, Cops, and Cheerleaders be a default safety mechanism?

      • How is your outer communication evolving as your Coach voice becomes a habit?

      Let’s chat a bit about this second-to-last Question for Reflection. Our Critics, Cops, and Cheerleaders — yes, they impede our inner and ultimately outer communication success. However, they are also there to protect us, in their own way. Ultimately, we have to make a choice about whether we want their so-called protection.

      Whenever we step into our moxie and take strategic risks by speaking up for ourselves (or others), we are declaring to ourselves (first and foremost) that we are built for greatness. That we reject playing small in our lives. Our Critics, Cops, and Cheerleaders — they’re testing our resolve. Are we ready to play to our edge and capitalize on our potential? Or do we need an excuse, a.k.a. our self-talk, to stay quiet, underearn, hold on to toxic jobs (or clients), and not realize our dreams?

      Yes, choosing to invite the Coach in each and every time a Critic, Cop, or Cheerleader speaks requires consistent practice. But this need not be complicated. It requires less time than a bathroom break. It’s a simple choice.

       Do you believe that your voice matters?

      If your answer is yes (and I’m sure it is, because otherwise, why would you be reading this book?), you will make the commitment. You will invest the time to shift your self-talk and activate your most powerful voice. Sure, en route to putting your Coach on autopilot there will be times when you forget, but your commitment will be resolute. You won’t make excuses for your mediocrity. You’ll stay focused on the results you want and buff up the communication muscles needed to achieve them.

      You’ll also develop the ability to unhook from other people’s opinions of you. Truly, when you stop using, What if people don’t like me? Or what if my boss/clients/partner/parents/accountant/ personal chef (a girl can dream!) disagree? as the filter for how and what you choose to communicate, you stop yourself from sculpting encyclopedia-like messages in your head that you never get out into the world. You fall (back) in love with your voice. You stop yourself from speaking diluted, inauthentic versions of what you want to say. You live and speak from your whole body — knowing that what comes out of you is what you are supposed to say. Stepping into your moxie is as much about (okay, actually much more about) surrender as it is about elbow grease. It’s also about being flexible, integrating our feminine with our masculine, and allowing our communication to be as mindful as it is magical. In chapter 3 I’ll share one of my favorite metaphors for thinking about and activating your most authentic and high-impact communication in the world — so that you can develop a speaking presence as powerful as your self-talk.

CHAPTER 3

       BUNNIES DON’T BELONG HERE (BUT CHEETAHS DO)

       I think it’s healthy for a person to be nervous. It means that you care — that you work hard and want to give a great performance. You just have to channel that nervous energy into the show.

      —BEYONCÉ KNOWLES

      I did not want to write this book. Although writing comes naturally to me — so naturally that as a junior in high school I wrote a full-length memoir and less than a year later a graphic novel about a high school girl who lost her virginity (and ultimately her life) on a Greek Orthodox youth trip to the homeland — I know that throwing myself into book writing not only arouses some wonky ideas but in the past has disrupted my productivity, my social life, and my business revenue. But I guess you could say this book chose me. During the Christmas holiday of 2016, I vowed I was going to take ten days off from my business, a period of time I had not taken off since the birth of my daughter three years earlier. And during my work break, the vision for this book arose, and the corresponding book proposal just poured out of me.

      I figured if a book was going to wake me in the night, the least I could do was to listen and type the words that were flowing from me. By New Year’s I was three-fourths of the way through a book proposal I was crazy in love with, and by late winter, I was ready to show my Step into Your Moxie book proposal to agents. But after I was rejected by the agent of one of my business besties (or more specifically, told to triple my email subscriber list and then get back to her), I caught a nasty case of the “I’m not readys.” I was weighing my publishing options, thinking smaller and smaller with each possibility I brainstormed.

      And at the height of this shrinking, one very early morning, while driving to the airport to catch a flight to a college speaking gig, I nearly drove over a bunny that was running across the road. Over the next СКАЧАТЬ