The Complete Plays of J. M. Barrie - 30 Titles in One Edition. Джеймс Барри

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ (breathlessly). And you killed him?

      JASPER. Yes, it was my life or theirs. They leapt upon me, brandishing their spears, but I lifted the chief in my arms and flung him with such force against his two warriors that all three were hurled over the precipice.

      PENNY. Oh my!

      BELL. And then you ran away?

      JASPER (calmly). Ran! No! I walked away, turning round every now and again to shoot another through the heart.

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. How brave!

      JASPER. It was nothing.

      PENNY (aside). He is a Nero. Haitch He Har Ho Nero.

      (Exits.)

      ANDREW (looking over). Miss O’Brien, the telegram with the result of my exams, may come at any moment now. Do you think I have passed?

      NANNY. Bother! Don’t you see I am fanning the dear Colonel?

      ANDREW. What do you think, Miss Golightly?

      BELL. I am busy, Mr. McPhail.

      ANDREW. What do you think, Mrs. Golightly?

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. 31, 32, 33, 34, 35. Tell us about Lake Nyanza, Colonel.

      ANDREW (to w g.). W. G., the women can do nothing but gape over Neil’s adventures. He has been here nearly a week now, and what good has he done me, except that I have to sleep on a shakedown in the saloon, while he gets the best bedroom?

      W. G. Isn’t this a tip-top idea for practising batting?

      (Hits.) I say, I saw the Colonel spooning Nanny last night!

      ANDREW. No, no — it was your sister — I saw him too.

      W. G. About eight o’clock?

      ANDREW. It was nearer nine, W. G. Eight.

      ANDREW. Nine. I thought he had his arm round her.

      W. G. He has to do that, he says, when one of his dizzy fits comes on.

      ANDREW. Hum! (Continues to look through glass, and W. G. BATS.)

      NANNY. Of course you travelled with a caravan?

      JASPER. A caravan? Not in Africa!

      (PENNY listens again.)

      BELL. But I thought all explorers did?

      JASPER. They do — yes, in a sense.

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. What is a caravan like, exactly?

      JASPER. Hum — ah — well, a covered-in van, you know, with brooms and baskets all over it and with two horses.

      BELL. I thought it meant the porters.

      JASPER. Yes, they march behind, except when they are in front, then of course they are not behind.

      (W. G. listens on deck.)

      NANNY. And is it true that the ladies dress — ah — lightly?

      JASPER. Mostly in telegraph wires —

      NANNY. What is the costume?

      JASPER. Oh, it’s nothing, W. G. Fancy?

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. NO, you mustn’t.

      (W. G. goes back and sits.)

      BELL. After all, these people are human beings — very like ourselves.

      NANNY. But, Bell, the women are sold to their husbands.

      BELL. So are most of our women, and they make willing slaves.

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. But the native husbands are such bullies.

      BELL. So are all men naturally.

      NANNY. Yes, what a pity that all nice men are so nasty.

      BELL. Show me a man, be he African or English, and I will show you a born bully.

      PENNY (aside). She is a-hitting at Mr. Upjohn.

      JASPER. It’s just the same, all the world over, the men run after the women — and the women run after the men. Oh, yes they do, I’ve done it myself.

      (Exit PENNY.)

      W. G. I say, McPhail, wasn’t it clever of me to rig this up myself? I can do a lot of things on it. It is a way of getting into the punt, too. Look here, you hold this end, and I’ll show how it’s done.

      (ANDREW rises, holds end and W. G. clings to ball.)

      Mater, hi — all of you look!

      (They turn round, look up W. G. is lowered to punt.

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY utters cries of fear, and coming out on plank.)

      That’s a handy way of getting into the punt, isn’t it? (Boards and returns to deck.)

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. I forbid you to do that again, you rash boy. You might have fallen into the river. (Goes back.)

      JASPER. It is nothing.

      W. G. Come up and let them see you do it, Colonel.

      JASPER. Not just now, W. G., too comfortable where I am.

      W. G. Well, don’t forget any of you that we start for the cricket match, men versus girls, in half an hour.

      ANDREW. I won’t leave the houseboat till my telegram arrives.

      W. G. You must play.

      ANDREW. Do you think I have passed, W. G.?

      W. G. No. (ANDREW looks through glass, W. G. tries to balance bat on his nose.)

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. Who was the soldier that said the most dangerous thing he ever did was to cross Piccadilly Circus?

      BELL. That was nothing to Colonel Neil swimming the Congo with his hands tied.

      JASPER. Yes, I did swim the Congo with my hands tied. A trifle!

      BELL. Nor to his shooting the gorilla.

      JASPER. Pooh! When you meet a gorilla, what can you do? There’s the gorilla, and there you are — and — and — and there it is.

      NANNY. Nor to his march through the forest of the dwarfs.

СКАЧАТЬ