The Complete Plays of J. M. Barrie - 30 Titles in One Edition. Джеймс Барри

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СКАЧАТЬ me feel your muscles? (Feels them and then runs into saloon, shouting) Bell, he’s Neil, Africanus Neil!

      (Exit.)

      NANNY.. Auntie, Bell wants you.

      (Exit MRS. GOLIGHTLY through saloon.)

      NANNY. Colonel Neil, you are a hero and I could kiss you.

      (JASPER hastening to her.)

      If I were Bell! (Goes up ladder — to herself) He is a bachelor — and yet I don’t know — a married man might have wanted to do it too! (Sits on deck.)

      JASPER (rubbing his hands gleefully). Oh, this is better than the shop! (Is about to go on bank.)

      BEN (still in punt). A word with you, Colonel Neil.

      JASPER (assuming a high and mighty air). Well?

      BEN. What does this ‘ere rum go mean?

      JASPER. It’s all right, Ben. Go away.

      BEN.’Tain’t all right, ain’t I lied till my throat’s dry?

      JASPER. I paid you.

      BEN. What for did you want to pretend as you saved the gal’s life? You knows as well as I that she fell into two feet of water, and I pulled her out with a boat hook.

      JASPER. Quite right.

      BEN. But she was senseless with fright, and before she come to, you made up them whoppers about saving her life, and teached me to say them; and now I ‘ave said them, what for?

      JASPER. Half a sov., Ben.

      BEN. To make her think she had nearly been swept over the weir, you got me to carry her to the edge of it, what for?

      JASPER. Five bob.

      BEN. And then you got me to fling some mud and water at you, so as you should look like one as had been swimming in his clothes. (Wringing out clothes.) Look here, Guv’nor, what for did you bring me into this?’Ow couldn’t yer tell your own lies?

      JASPER. A gentleman doesn’t brag about himself, Ben. And so I paid you to brag for me.

      BEN. What are you going to do now?

      JASPER. Enjoy myself.

      BEN. Blest if I believe you ‘re the Colonel chap you says you are.

      JASPER. YOU can’t prove I’m not, Ben.

      BEN. Are you?

      JASPER. I feel as if I was. (Sits.)

      (Cuckoo calls three times.)

      BEN. Do you hear that? I tell you what, I believe you ‘re the cuckoo in the hen’s nest and that’s your mate acalling to you.

      (Cuckoo once.)

      There, it’s indignant it is. You see if it don’t come aboard and claim you yet!

      NANNY (looking down). You are not going away, Ben. I want you to tell us of Colonel Neil’s bravery again and again.

      JASPER. It was nothing. (To BEN) Crack me up!

      BEN. Well, you see, Miss, she was drifting to the weir —

      JASPER. Desist, Ben. (To BEN) Keep it up!

      (MRS. GOLIGHTLY enters on deck.)

      BEN. When sudden like this brave gentleman —

      PENNY (entering). Tea or coffee, sir?

      JASPER. Both! (To BEN) Cut!

      BEN. I’ll be saying ‘morning,’ ma’am, if you can lend me the punt. Curious, ma’am, as some should be so wet when others is so dry!

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY (on deck). Ah! (Gives him money.) You can drink the Colonel’s health with that.

      BEN. And the young lady’s. The young lady’s health, ma’am, coupled with the name of her preserver — her preserver!

      (Exit BEN in punt.)

      JASPER (aside). An impudent fellow!

      (PENNY enters on deck with dishes, W. G. follows with tea and coffee. They place them on table, penny rings bell and exits.)

      W. G. Breakfast! Come on, everybody! (Takes seat at table.)

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. Come, Colonel! (Takes head of table.)

      (Cuckoo once.)

      JASPER (stumbles at stern). Confound the cuckoo!

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. You are more exhausted than you said!

      (Enter BELL with ANDREW.)

      JASPER. It is only a dizziness I am subject to.

      BELL. Lean on me — do. (Takes his arm. To ANDREW, who enters saloon) How forgetful of us. You are wet!

      JASPER. It is nothing.

      ANDREW. Come to my bunk, and I’ll give you some dry things, Colonel. (Exit.)

      (BELL goes up ladder to deck, JASPER stands at window with a grin.)

      NANNY. He is middle-aged, but delightful!

      BELL. Not handsome exactly, but how modest!

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. Perhaps a little wanting in polish —

      NANNY. Because he is no mere Piccadilly lounger, W. G. I bet he has shot lions!

      BELL. He is a hero!

      ALL. Yes, yes.

      JASPER. Oh, this is better than the shop! If I don’t spend all my honeymoon in this houseboat, my name isn’t Jasper Phipps — I mean, Colonel Neil —

      (SARAH comes along bank walking slowly, and in passing looks in at saloon window but none of them see her. JASPER sees her, gasps, and ducks head. She goes off. He looks after her in horror.)

      JASPER. Sarah! (With trembling hand he pulls down blind.)

      Oh, Jerusalem!

      ACT II

      The houseboat at midday. There is a broiling sun. Jasper is lying in the hammock telling African stories. Bell is holding up sunshade to protect him. Nanny is fanning him. Mrs. Golightly sits at window knitting. Penny is listening at door. On deck Andrew is gazing at towpath through a telescope and W. G. is practising cricket, the ball being suspended on a rope, hanging from a sort СКАЧАТЬ