The Complete Plays of J. M. Barrie - 30 Titles in One Edition. Джеймс Барри

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      Walker, London

       Table of Contents

      SCENE: A houseboat on the Thames. The blinds are down. Time: morning. A canoe and punt on bank at the bow are tied to houseboat. Someone in distance is playing a penny whistle. W. G. is lying on plank lazily writing a letter. Presently he sleeps. Nanny is on deck fishing. Mrs. Golightly is seen pulling up blind in saloon. The table is set for breakfast on deck. The opposite blind is also going up, giving a view of river and towpath. Mrs. Golightly sits at the window and knits. Andrew is seen in the saloon with no coat, waistcoat or collar. Bell is in the cabin. Nanny raises line. She has her hair only partially done.

      VOICE (off). Houseboat ahoy! Milk!

      (MRS GOLIGHTLY draws curtains of saloon, bell draws blinds of cabin and dips jug out for water. Andrew draws curtains, bell drops jug into river and fishes for it with umbrella.)

      W. G. Breakfast ready, Mater?

      MRS GOLIGHTLY. No, what are you doing, W. G.?

      VOICE. Hi! Milk!

      ANDREW. W. G., why don’t you go across for the milk?

      (Noise of breaking dishes is heard.)

      NANNY (to herself). Penny breaking dishes again.

      (PENNY enters through saloon, throws broken dishes into river. The splash brings NANNY to deck where she continues fishing, W. G. takes piece of crockery and throws it down in front of MRS. GOLIGHTLY. She starts.)

      VOICE. Milk! Milk!

      NANNY. W. G., do go across for the milk. I do believe he is asleep. (Descends ladder and bends over him.) I wonder if I could win a pair of gloves from W. G.

      (She kisses him. He jumps up and pulls his hand indignantly across his mouth.)

      W. G. Stop that! Just think if anybody had seen you.

      NANNY. Pooh! the time will come when you will be willing to give anything for a kiss.

      W. G. Rot! You have no right to bring such charges against a fellow.

      NANNY. A fellow! You horrid little boy.

      W. G. Little boy! I ‘mas tall as you!

      (Turns and measures back to back. He looks to see if she’s tiptoeing and pushes her down.)

      NANNY. YOU call yourself W. G. because you think you are a great cricketer and I can bowl you myself.

      W. G. You bowl me! Oh, that time — because my foot slipped. (Goes.)

      VOICE. Milk! Ahoy!

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY (speaking out at window). W. G. (counts stitches) 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28. W. G., do pull across for the milk!

      W. G. I’ll go, but it’s an awful swot! (Gets into punt.)

      NANNY. And W. G., you needn’t expect me to play in the cricket match on Saturday if you say I bowled you unfairly.

      W. G. (alarmed). Don’t say you won’t play, Cousin Nanny. I say, I’m not angry with you for kissing me; I know girls can’t help it. And look here, read that letter I’ve been writing to Daly Major, and you’ll see how I crack up your leg hits.

      (Exit W. G. in punt. He is heard whistling after out of sight, until nanny is on deck, nanny looks at letter, laughs and runs on deck.)

      NANNY (leaning over railing). Listen, you people!

      (BELL, ANDREW and MRS. GOLIGHTLY put their heads out.)

      Do you want to hear W. G.’s candid opinion of you? It is in a letter to a school friend.

      BELL. And very ungrammatical, I fear.

      ANDREW. Yes, I don’t think you will have two B.A.s in your family, Mrs. Golightly.

      MRS. GOLIGHTLY. One is enough. 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.

      (Goes on knitting while BELL puts finishing touches to her hair.)

      NANNY (reading). ‘Dear old boy, I take up the pen to tell you we are in a houseboat this month, and it is the mater’s houseboat, and she knits all day, like she does everywhere.’ BELL (scornfully). Like she does!

      NANNY. ‘My sister Bell is also here and you will regret to hear she has had the cheek to take a B. A. of London, and I am СКАЧАТЬ