Bonds of Love. Sarah K

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СКАЧАТЬ there would be no let up, no time off; we would always be in role.

      True, sometimes the atmosphere was lighter, sometimes more intense, but the bottom line was that Max didn’t want the easy familiarity of everyday life with a partner so much as the charge, the thrill of the heady sexual and social encounters that the BDSM lifestyle brought him. More to the point, for Max BDSM was the only truly satisfying way for him to enjoy a sexual relationship. He found vanilla sex dull and unsatisfying.

      Even when I was with him – and we had some fabulous times – I was always concerned, because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that, much as I loved it, I couldn’t live full time within a strict BDSM relationship. I wasn’t sure anyone could, but what had rapidly become apparent to me was that, while I did need, like and enjoy that Dom-sub dynamic, in an ideal world what I wanted was someone who could play and then slip back into normal life. It was a big, big ask.

      Reading Alex’s profile, looking at what he liked and enjoyed, it was all pretty standard stuff. There was certainly nothing on there that set alarm bells ringing. Unusually, Alex had also sent a full-face photo, and he looked okay – more than okay. He had a rugged, nicely made face, with a strong jawline and big blue eyes. In a second photo he had sent he looked as if he might be on holiday. He was casually dressed and standing in a bar, with the people around him carefully cropped out and pixelated. What did shine through from both the photographs and his profile was a sense of warmth and good humour. The way he wrote was bright and intelligent, and the profile was carefully put together.

      So, I knew what Alex looked like, he didn’t sound like a loony, he sounded like he might be good company and I was happy to be going; so why the dream about Max? I glanced outside into the grey light of the new day trying to analyse it. Unfinished business maybe? One last fond look at what might have been? I wasn’t sure, but I did know that it was too early to be up worrying about what had happened in the past and what the future might hold. I couldn’t go back to what I had with Max, I had to move on, and meeting Alex was the first step. The sooner I took it, the sooner I could get on with the rest of my life. So I switched off my laptop and headed back upstairs to bed. Within moments of slipping beneath the duvet I dropped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Chapter Two

      The restaurant was closed. It said so on a large blackboard that had been propped up against the wall outside the car park. I’d been so focused on the road and how to get to the place where we were meeting that the sign took me completely by surprise, so – mid-turn – I carried on turning and sailed into the car park, where a red-and-white striped barrier had been erected across the parking spaces and a small group of men with a van, high-visibility vests and hard hats were all gathered around what looked like a freshly dug hole outside the main entrance to the restaurant.

      The main building was long and low with dormer windows set into the swooping roof, and it turned back on itself to enclose a little paved courtyard with tables and benches that caught the mid-morning sun. It would have been the perfect spot for lunch – if it had been open.

      As I pulled to a halt another car pulled up alongside mine. Looking across at the driver I realised that it was Alex, who waved and smiled back at me and then rolled down his window.

      ‘Hi there. You found it all right then?’ he said, his face broadening into a smile. If anything he looked better than he had in his photo, which was a pleasant surprise. He was lightly tanned, with tousled sun-bleached hair and vibrant blue eyes.

      I nodded. ‘Yes, thanks,’ I said. ‘And so did the water authority by the looks of it. Did you invite them?’

      Alex laughed. ‘Bloody gatecrashers. It looks serious though. I’m thinking we might have to have a change of venue. If you want to wait here, I’ll just go and see what’s going on.’ He climbed out of his car, locked it and headed over towards the restaurant.

      Being naturally nosey I got out and followed him. Alex was taller than I’d expected – don’t get me started on how many men lie about their height on online dating sites – and he was well built, with broad shoulders and long legs. He was wearing a blue-and-white checked open-neck shirt under a charcoal-grey jacket, with faded Levis and nice shoes, and so far was exactly as advertised in his profile. As we got to the barriers, he paused.

      ‘Nice to meet you, by the way,’ he said. There was something quite boyish about him, and although he wasn’t classically handsome he was nice looking, with a broad, generous mouth and very naughty eyes. I made myself take a calm, collected step back from all the approving noises my brain was making; we were playing it cool, remember? Slowly, slowly this time. I extended a hand. Alex shook it and as he did we both made a slightly awkward manoeuvre and then stepped closer, at which point he kissed me on the cheek.

      ‘This isn’t going quite how I planned,’ he added.

      ‘Well, that’s good. If you’re going to arrange some excitement I’d rather it didn’t involve –’ I was about to say a water leak when I got a whiff of whatever it was that was lurking in the bottom of the hole. ‘God, that smells awful.’

      He laughed. ‘Anyway, I’m Alex. It’s nice to meet you at long last.’

      ‘Sarah,’ I said.

      His grip was warm and firm and his hand so big that it swallowed mine whole. ‘Delighted, and you know you look just like your photo.’

      ‘Which is rare,’ I said ruefully.

      He nodded. ‘You can say that again.’

      ‘You too. So far, so good.’

      He grinned. ‘I think so.’

      I had sent him a photo in response to his; I wanted Alex to recognise me when we met and also know what he was letting himself in for. Although I’m not overweight, I am a proper grown-up woman with curves and wrinkles, not a smooth stick insect. Lots of the men on both BDSM and ordinary websites are looking for women much younger than themselves, which is fine, but unless they’re in their dotage, I’m not one of them. Alex, who was in his mid-forties, had specified that he wanted to meet someone within three to five years of his age, which was also rare and suggested he was looking for something more than just the physical – well, I hoped that was what it meant.

      He eased one of the barriers to one side. ‘I’m just going to nip inside and see if I can see –’ But before he could complete the sentence, a man in chef’s whites appeared from one of the service doors of the restaurant and hurried towards us, waving madly and grinning like a loon. Alex waved back.

      ‘No need, here he comes. This is the friend I was telling you about. His name’s Cash,’ Alex said. ‘And this place is his new baby. He and his partner bought it last year. They haven’t been open that long. I hope this water thing isn’t anything too serious. They’ve put every penny they’ve got into this place.’

      ‘Hello,’ said Cash, looking from face to face.

      ‘Bit extreme, isn’t it? Trying to keep us out, are you?’ said Alex to Cash, nodding towards the barriers.

      ‘We do our best to try and keep the riff-raff out,’ said the man, and then he slipped through a gap in the barriers and they embraced and slapped each other on the back in the way that men do. ‘I’m so sorry, mate. I did ring to try and let you know. It’s some sort of leak. We’ve had to close until they fix it. I left you a message first thing this morning but presumably you were too busy to pick it up.’ As he spoke, СКАЧАТЬ