Hard to Love. Kendall Ryan

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СКАЧАТЬ even keep my erection up—something that had never been a problem for me before.

      I wasn’t about to fuck some girl who was terrified of me. Sorry, not a turn-on. Rick had assumed it was a performance issue, and stupidly I’d accepted the pills from him rather than explaining why I didn’t want to go through with it. Eventually I had to man up and explain the situation to him, but not before the damage was done.

      ‘So, you’re a porn star?’ Alexa asked, her eyes flicking up to mine briefly before darting away again.

      She was as nervous as a field mouse in a stampede. ‘Does that bother you?’ I bluffed. She didn’t need to know that this was my first ever film and I hadn’t even followed through. Besides, she’d already judged me. No sense in trying to defend my honor.

      Her eyes met mine again and held. ‘No.’ Her voice sounded sure, but I couldn’t help noticing the blush creeping up her neck to color her cheeks. I wouldn’t be all that surprised to learn she was a virgin, with how self-conscious and unsure of herself she was. All the more reason to stay the hell away from her.

      Watching her work, her small hands moving about to care for me stirred something inside. It’d been a long time since someone had taken care of me.

      The doctor strode into the room—male, late-forties, and strait-laced, which put me at ease.

      After covering the basics—that I’d taken two of little blue pills even though only one was recommended and yes, I’d been fully erect going on four and half hours now—the doctor, thankfully, got right down to business, opening my robe. The swollen appendage jutted out in front of me, proudly saluting the doctor and Alexa.

      ‘There he is!’ Rick beamed proudly. This dude was twisted. Why the hell was he so interested in my cock? Sure it was above average, I knew that much. After Rick had approached me about starring in one of his movies, I’d looked up the statistics online and measured myself, just out of curiosity. It was much larger than average according to what I’d read online. But still, his interest was creepy. I reminded myself that he dealt with the human body all day long and that he was just thinking about the money I could make him when he looked at it, but that didn’t mean I liked another man eyeing my dick with such enthusiasm.

      My eyes flicked up to watch Alexa’s expression. Bad fucking idea. Her mouth had dropped open, and her chest was heaving with shallow breaths. I practically felt her gaze caressing me.

      ‘Is he family?’ the doctor asked, gingerly inspecting me.

      ‘Nope.’

      The doctor tipped his head to the door, motioning to Rick. ‘Would you mind stepping out of the room, sir?’

      ‘Sure thing, Doc.’ Rick nodded. ‘I’m out of here just as soon as you tell me there’ll be no permanent damage to the money maker.’

      The doctor looked up at him, not amused. ‘He’ll live. Now please go.’

      Apparently satisfied by the doctor’s answer, Rick gave me a wink, patted my shoulder and exited the room.

      ‘So how exactly do you treat this?’ I was almost afraid to ask.

      Alexa’s eyes shifted to the floor, like she knew I wasn’t going to like the answer. Not good.

      ‘I’m going to give you a dose of medicine—a combination of a steroid and a muscle relaxant to see if that will return things to normal. You’ll take these orally and we’ll wait about thirty minutes. If that doesn’t work, I may have to insert a thin needle into the shaft and extract blood manually.’ The doctor made a few notes in my file and left the room.

      I swallowed down a lump in my throat. The fucking pills had to work. I wouldn’t be able to handle him bringing a needle anywhere near my dick without punching the poor guy in the face.

      Alexa returned a few minutes later with a tiny plastic cup containing two pills and a cup of water for me. I downed the pills and water in a single gulp. Once again, she arranged the ice pack on my lap, her hand brushing against my dick, which made it jump. I saw her bite her lip to avoid smiling.

      ‘Thanks,’ I muttered, passing the cup back to her.

      ‘You’re welcome. Sit tight and I’ll be back to check your progress in a little while.’

      I’d never been so happy to go soft in my entire life, but twenty minutes later my erection slackened and I hopped down from the exam table and began dressing. Just as I was pulling on my jeans, Alexa came back to check on me.

      The look of surprise on her face stopped me short.

      ‘I think I’m good to go,’ I explained.

      Her eyes travelled down the length of my body, stopping once they reached the no-longer-straining bulge in my jeans. ‘Oh.’

      ‘Thanks for everything.’ I grabbed my jacket from the chair, and started past her. Her hands darted out and pressed against my chest. ‘You can’t just leave. Dr. Chancellor wanted to um…talk with you, about your, um, lifestyle. And see if we could offer STD testing.’

      I laughed. ‘Thanks anyway, but I’m good.’ I barely had time to date, let alone have sex, but when I did I always used a condom. Not to mention that Rick insisted I get tested as an agreement to work for him. All I wanted to do now was get home, check on Lily, and forget this whole night ever happened. ‘Okay. Be safe,’ she said, and stepped out of the way as I fled past her, ready to put the whole experience behind me.

       Chapter 2

       Alexa

      When I woke and fumbled for my cell phone to check the time, I was shocked to discover it was already four in the afternoon. I stretched and flung back my duvet, sighing because despite the late hour, my body was so not ready to leave my heavenly soft pillowtop.

      Working the midnight shift was wreaking havoc with my system. Each night I worked the late shift, I woke later and later in the afternoon. At least I had tonight off—it was my twenty-first birthday, and I was going out with friends later. I could only imagine what MacKenzie had planned. That girl, though I considered her my best friend in nursing school, was trouble with a capital T.

      I sat down at my vanity and brushed out my hair. The bags under my eyes needed attention too, so I dotted on some eye cream before securing my hair back in a ponytail.

      My parents didn’t understand why I worked so hard. Money certainly wasn’t the motivator—my family had more than we’d ever spend in a lifetime—but I wanted something more for myself. Something I was good at and kept me busy. Their only goal for me was to meet a wealthy, well-bred man and become some sort of Stepford Wife, a desire we did not share. A life like that sounded incredibly boring to me. And if my mother’s afternoon combination of happy pills and wine-spritzers were any indication, it was a life spent unfulfilled. No thanks.

      Once in the kitchen, I slid a coffee pod into the one-cup maker, the most used appliance in my kitchen since I rarely bothered to cook for one. I couldn’t help but think back to the previous night, or more specifically, about Cade. Well, I was actually thinking of a certain part of his anatomy more than I was anything else, and giggled СКАЧАТЬ