Asking for the Moon: A Collection of Dalziel and Pascoe Stories. Reginald Hill

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      ‘I mean that seven were later rounded up which Mr Partridge identified—’

      ‘You will insist on dragging Mr Partridge into this. There is as yet nothing to prove a connection between the eight which he allegedly lost, the seven which he was fortunate enough to recover, and the six which my clients claim are still missing. As things stand, it seems to me what we have here is a serious allegation of crime unsupported by any corpus delicti whatsoever.’

      ‘Perhaps, Mr Harris,’ said the magistrate who aspired to judicial wit, ‘we should say corpi as there were six or seven, or even eight, of them.’

      ‘Indeed, sir. Corpi. Very good.’

      ‘Corpora,’ said Pascoe.

      ‘I’m sorry?’ said Harris, histrionically puzzled.

      ‘The plural of corpus is corpora,’ explained Pascoe.

      And Bomber Harris smiled and said, ‘I’m sure we are both grateful to your classical scholarship, Constable Pascoe.’

      ‘Let’s get out of here,’ growled Dalziel. ‘Before I honk my ring!’

      Outside, he said, ‘Are we stuck with it, Wieldy, or can we flush the useless turd back down south?’

      ‘Fair do’s, sir, he may have settled in by the time you finish in Wales. Still much to do, sir?’

      ‘Too bloody much. It’s like the wild bloody west out there. Buggers waiting to ambush you behind every slag heap. Some lovely rugby, but. Going to a match tonight. Only schoolboys, but they’ve got this fly half who’s going to give those tossers down at Twickers a few headaches in the near future, always supposing he survives the GBH his compatriots dish out.’

      ‘Oh good,’ said Wield with the false enthusiasm of one who found it hard to understand why society found aggression between men so praiseworthy and affection between men so deplorable. ‘Then you’ll be heading straight back?’

      Dalziel was viewing him with great suspicion.

      ‘You’re a bit keen to be shut of me,’ he said. ‘Come to think of it, what the hell are you doing hanging around here anyway?’

      ‘The Super thought I should have a word, sir.’

      ‘Zombie? What else has the useless sod been doing? Hiring the Dagenham Girls Choir as dog handlers?’

      ‘No, sir. Just worried about you, that’s all. He thought you should know that Tankie Trotter’s on the loose?’

      ‘Tankie Trotter? You don’t mean he’s made it at last? Wonders’ll never cease.’

      ‘Yes, sir. He were returned to the Wyfies’ regimental depot at Leeds for discharge at the weekend. From the sound of it, if he’d been serving a civil sentence, he’d likely have been transferred straight to a nut house. But the army are only too glad to have got rid of him at last.’

      ‘Can’t blame ’em. Must be an embarrassment still having a National Service Man on the books after all this time. So why’re you telling me this, Wieldy?’

      ‘Seems Tankie had a sort of hate list scratched on his cell wall. Didn’t matter how often they made him whitewash it over, it always came back. One name was his old platoon commander’s. He’s a major now, serving out in Hong Kong. Took his family with him, fortunately.’

      ‘Fortunately?’

      ‘He’s got a house out near Burley. It were torched night before last. Empty, thank God. Another name was the RSM when Tankie got called up. He retired last year. He’s got a flat in Horsforth. Second floor. Someone picked him out of bed last night and tossed him out of the window. He’s in intensive care.’

      ‘And what’s all this got to do with me, as if I can’t guess,’ said Dalziel.

      ‘The third name, in fact the one that was always top of the list, is yours, sir.’

      ‘Well, well,’ said Dalziel. ‘Nice to know that some folk really mean it when they say they’ll never forget. Restores your faith in human nature. So you’re the errand boy, are you, Wieldy? Sent to see me safely off the premises so if Tankie trashes me, it won’t leave a mess on Zombie’s doorstep. You’d think the idle bugger could have shown me enough professional courtesy to come along himself. Then I could have had the pleasure of hitting him over the head with that college kid and getting rid of two useless lumps together!’

      ‘Yes, sir, that would really have shown him the meaning of professional courtesy,’ agreed Wield. ‘So are you going to go quietly? Seriously, I doubt if Tankie knows where Wales is, and we should have felt his collar by the time you get back.’

      ‘Kind of trail he’s leaving, what with flames and folk flying through the air, he shouldn’t be difficult to find. You’ve tried his sister?’

      ‘Yes, I went round to see Judith myself. Only she weren’t there. Taking a little break. Touring in the West Country. What do you think, sir?’

      ‘Anyone else I’d have said, wise move,’ said Dalziel frowning. ‘But them two have got a lot of common baggage to haul, and I don’t just mean being twins. Still, things being the way they are, that might be even more reason for her to hide. Any road it’s down to you, Wieldy. I’ll just get a cup of tea and a wad and I’ll be on my way.’

      ‘You’ll get better value in a transport caff, sir.’

      Dalziel shook his head and said wonderingly, ‘You’re turning into a right hard bastard, Wieldy. But I’ll not hang around where I’m not wanted. See you in a week or two. Cheers.’

      That wasn’t so hard, thought Wield as he watched the Fat Man head out to the car park. Mebbe he was learning sense at last. Or mebbe he was heading down to the station to throw Zombie out of the window! Still, what a mere sergeant could do, a mere sergeant had done.

      He glanced down the long corridor which led to the magistrates’ wing. Distantly he saw Peter Pascoe approaching.

      ‘Lost again?’ he said when the youngster joined him.

      ‘No, sarge. My car’s parked out front.’

      ‘So how’d it go?’

      ‘No problem,’ said Pascoe. ‘Harris is still droning on, but the beak would have to be brain dead not to commit those two jokers on the evidence. I’ve left word there’s no objection to bail, so no need for me to stay, especially as I’m due at a briefing in ten minutes. See you!’

      He was off through the doors at a graceful trot.

      Didn’t notice me and Fat Andy then, thought Wield. Or perhaps he really didn’t think he had a problem. One thing was sure. Bomber Harris would have noticed his exit. Worth keeping an eye on the sly sod. He set off down the corridor.

      Pascoe meanwhile, with a quick glance around to make sure the attendant was nowhere in sight, ran down the steps to the Riley. As he got in he could hear the car in the next bay making a meal of getting started. It was a big Rover, facing outwards so it wasn’t till he reversed past it that he became aware СКАЧАТЬ