The Cowboy's Baby Blessing. Deb Kastner

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СКАЧАТЬ used to tell me that courage wasn’t the lack of fear. It was being afraid and going forward anyway. That’s what you did. I call it courage.”

      Rachel nibbled at her chicken, chewing thoughtfully, her gaze distant. Then, with effort, she seemed to set her emotions aside.

      “But enough about me. Tell me about you. Did you join the army right out of high school? Thank you for your service, by the way.”

      He gave her a clipped nod. He didn’t really want to talk about his time in the military, and though appreciative of their acknowledgment, he never knew what to say when people thanked him for serving.

      “Like many little boys, I dreamed about becoming a soldier when I grew up,” he said. “But I followed through with it and, along with my best friend, Luke Hollister, enlisted before I even finished high school. We were off to boot camp right after we graduated. At the time, I intended to make the army my career. Twenty years and a decent pension sounded good to me. And I really loved serving in the army.”

      “What happened?” she asked softly.

      Seth blew out a breath. “Luke was killed in a firefight. I was right there next to him and—” He swallowed hard to dislodge the memory. “And then a sniper got him. The bullet whizzed right by my ear and hit Luke.”

      He frowned. It was hard to get the words out.

      “That day haunts me. I’ll never understand why God let things go down the way they did. I’m a bachelor and yet I was the one who dodged the bullet. Luke left behind his pregnant wife, Tracy, and their ranch land, which has been in the Hollister family for generations.”

      “It must have been very rough for her,” Rachel said. “I remember the prayers that were said for her in church. Such a sad situation. I know what it’s like to be pregnant and on your own, but I can’t even imagine dealing with the grief she must have felt, on top of having to run the ranch by herself.”

      Seth nodded his agreement. “Thankfully, Tracy was born and raised on a ranch, so she gradually adapted to becoming the sole owner. I admire her courage so much. She’s one of the strongest women I know.”

      “At least she had her child to look forward to. She had a boy, right?”

      “That’s right. Little Caden is almost three years old now. I promised Luke I’d watch over Caden and Tracy if anything ever happened to him, which is a big part of the reason I came back to Serendipity before heading off to college. I wanted to check in on them and make sure everything was as okay as Tracy tried to make it sound whenever I spoke to her on the phone. I needed to see her with my own eyes.”

      “And how is she doing?”

      “She appears to be making a success of it, although honestly, I can’t even imagine how she does it. She told me straight to my face that she was fine and she didn’t need my help, that I should worry about getting my own life in order. I realized then that I didn’t want my life to go the same way as Luke’s. I didn’t re-up in the army, because my heart wasn’t in it anymore. I knew I had to do something different.”

      “I imagine so,” Rachel said, sympathy evident in the tone of her voice.

      “The truth is, I just want to get away from responsibility for a while. I want to be me—to find out who I am outside of the military. I’ve always had someone else in charge of where I go and what I do in my life. I didn’t even take the summer off after high school. Straight from my parents’ house into the army, where I was under orders for everything, even eating and sleeping. Right now all I have on my mind is doing my own thing for a change. Make my own decisions without regard to anyone but myself. No strings attached. Saying that aloud makes me sound like a selfish lout, doesn’t it?”

      “Not at all.”

      She was generous to say so.

      “When I go to college, all I want to worry about is keeping my grades up. That will take some doing. Like I said, I wasn’t the best student, but I’m not sure if it’s so much that I wasn’t good at school as that I didn’t really apply myself. I only worked hard enough to keep my grades high enough for sports.” He could feel himself flushing with embarrassment. “Aw, man. I sound like a regular slacker. Don’t worry—I promise I won’t rub off on Zooey.”

      Rachel laughed. “She could use a little of your good attitude. You certainly sound ready to buckle down and work hard now. So after college, some kind of big-league sports work, and then what?”

      “I imagine I’ll probably want to settle down at some point—you know, get married and have children. But that is way down the road from now, though.”

      He pressed his lips together. He wasn’t even close to being ready for a family of his own. He wasn’t financially prepared to support anyone—and frankly, after losing his best friend, he wasn’t ready for any relationship that would leave his heart open to getting hurt again.

      “But,” he continued, forcing the corners of his mouth to curve upward, if only barely, for Rachel’s sake, “in other news, I am now the awesome godfather of the cutest baby ever, Luke and Tracy’s two-year-old son, Caden. And thanks to my sister and brother-in-law, I’m also the proud uncle of an adorable seven-year-old niece and a feisty pair of twins—one boy and one girl. Samantha and Will’s kiddos keep them good and busy.”

      “So you’re the fun uncle, huh?”

      He flashed his most charming smile. “Exactly. And that’s how I intend to keep things.”

      “Chief tickler and bogeyman storyteller. The children will look forward to you coming home to visit when you’re on breaks at school or the football season is over.”

      Considering how little they knew of each other, Rachel had just nailed it.

      That was the man he wanted to be. The fun uncle who could come and go as he pleased. He was happy to have found someone who seemed to understand where he was at in his life—and why he would soon be leaving town for greener pastures.

       Chapter Two

      Sunday was usually Rachel’s favorite day of the week. It was the only day out of seven that she allowed herself the opportunity to worship, relax and just be, after a frantically busy week filled to the brim with toddlers followed by a Saturday crammed with a week’s worth of leftover chores and errands.

      After Sunday services, she could read or binge on a television series or just nap, which was her favorite way to spend a quiet Sunday afternoon. But today her usual sense of peace had been replaced by a nagging sense of worry.

      This morning, she’d watched for Seth at the small church that was home to Serendipity’s community of faith. On the day of the auction, they’d agreed to meet after the Sunday service to go over the specific details of when and how he’d work off her auction win, but he hadn’t shown up. In fact, none of the Howells had been present, which was unusual, since Seth’s parents—Samuel and Amanda—along with Will and Samantha Davenport and their brood usually took up an entire pew.

      She’d have to make time to seek Seth out sometime during the week, as soon as possible. Or maybe she could get his cell number from Samantha. She needed the work done without delay. Her day-care recertification was close on the horizon, and from СКАЧАТЬ