A Clandestine Corporate Affair. Michelle Celmer

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СКАЧАТЬ during the last of which they ordered in dinner, which saved him the trouble of having to go out or pick up carryout to eat at home before he changed out of his suit and left for Ana’s place. He arrived at eight-thirty on the nose. Sometime since Saturday she had decorated the front of her condo for the coming holiday. Lighted balsam and fir swags framed the door and windows, and she’d hung a wreath decorated with Christmas bulbs and fresh holly on the front door. Nathan hadn’t hung a single decoration in his high-rise apartment downtown. He didn’t even own any. Why decorate for the holidays when he was never there? If he decorated anywhere, logically it should be his office, since that was where he spent the majority of his time.

      Before he could knock on the door it swung open.

      “Right on time,” Ana said. She was dressed in hot pink sweatpants and a matching hoodie over a faded T-shirt stained with something orange that may or may not have been mashed-up carrots. Her fiery red hair was pulled haphazardly back with a clip, and she didn’t have any makeup on. Yet she still managed to look sexy as hell.

      Motherhood looked damned good on her.

      She stepped aside to let him in. “Excuse the mess, but I just got Max settled, and I haven’t had time to straighten up yet.”

      She wasn’t kidding. It looked as if a bomb had gone off in the living room. He had no idea one kid could play with so many toys.

      “It looks like there were a dozen kids here,” he said, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it on the coat tree.

      “Five, actually. It’s playdate day, and it was my week to host.”

      “Playdate?”

      “You know, a bunch of parents get together with their kids and let them play together. Although me and my next-door neighbor, Jenny, are the only actual parents. Two others are nannies, and one is a French au pair. Jenny and I are both pretty sure the au pair is sleeping with the baby’s father. And one of the nannies told us that the couple she works for is on the verge of divorce, and he sleeps in the spare bedroom now.”

      He had no idea playdates could be so scandalous.

      “Isn’t Max a little young to be playing with other kids?” he asked.

      “It’s never too early to start socializing children.”

      Proving that he knew absolutely nothing about parenting. “You don’t have a nanny?”

      “I love being with Max, and I’m in a position where I don’t have to work now. I like being a stay-at-home mom. Not that it’s been easy, but well worth it.”

      His mother had been too busy with her charities and her various groups to take much time for her sons.

      Ana gestured into the living room. “Come on in and have a seat. Would you like something to drink?”

      He could probably use one. Or five. But no amount of alcohol was going to make this easier. “No thanks.”

      She waited until he sat on the couch, then took a seat on the edge of the chair. “So, you’ve made a decision?”

      “I have.” He propped his elbows on his knees, rubbing his palms together. Ana watched him expectantly. He wasn’t sure how she was going to like this. She was probably expecting a definitive answer, but he wasn’t ready to give her that. Not yet. “I’d like to have a trial period.”

      Her brows rose. “A trial period? This is not a gym membership we’re talking about, Nathan. He’s a baby. A human being.”

      “Which is exactly why I think jumping into this would be a bad idea. I know nothing about being a parent. As you pointed out, I never planned to have a family. For all I know I might be a lousy father. I’d like the opportunity to try it out for a few weeks, spend some time with Max and see how he takes to me.”

      “Max is nine months old. He loves everyone.”

      “Okay then, I want to see how I take to him.”

      “And if you don’t … take to him? What then?”

      “I’ll honor your wishes and remove myself from Max’s life completely.”

      She shook her head. “I don’t know …”

      “I know you were hoping for a more definitive answer, but I honestly think this is the best way to do this. And it’s not a decision I came to lightly. I just …” He sighed, shook his head. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, Ana, and this is too important to screw up.”

      “I’m assuming there’s also the question of how this will go over at work.”

      “I won’t deny that was a factor in my decision. Our current CEO is leaving, and I’m one of the select few who are competing for the position. I don’t want to rock the boat.”

      “So it is about work,” she said, not bothering to hide the bitterness in her voice.

      “I have to consider everything,” he said. “But ultimately this is about what’s best for our son.”

      To hear Nathan refer to Max as “our son” made Ana’s heart twist. For a long time he was just “her son.” She wasn’t sure if she was ready to give that up, to share him. But this wasn’t about what she wanted. The only thing that mattered was what was best for Max.

      Her knee-jerk reaction was to say no way, either he was in or out; but in all fairness, she’d had almost nine months to get used to the idea of being a parent. He’d had a child thrust on him without warning, and now he was expected to make a decision that would impact his and their son’s life forever. And hers. Could she honestly blame him for erring on the side of caution? He had clearly given this a lot of thought and seemed to have Max’s best interest in mind. Wasn’t that what really mattered? Not to mention that Nathan had shown vulnerability, which she knew had to be tough for him. He was a successful and well-respected man. Admitting he might not be able to hack it as a father couldn’t have been easy for him. She commended him for his honesty.

      “I guess a trial period would make sense,” she told him. “Supervised visits, of course.”

      “Of course,” he agreed.

      Which meant having to spend time with Nathan, which she was sure would be heart-wrenching for her. Just having him in her home, remembering all the times they had spent there together, made her feel hollowed out inside. Alone. Since they split, she hadn’t so much as looked at another man. Not that she’d had a whole lot of time for dating these days, but she had gone out with friends a few times, attended social functions with her father. Men had tried to strike up conversations, asked her to dance, but she just wasn’t interested.

      If a year and a half apart hadn’t dissolved her feelings for Nathan, maybe she was destined to love him forever. Or maybe being around him again would make her realize that he wasn’t as wonderful as she used to think. The man was bound to have flaws. Little character traits that annoyed her. Maybe all this time she’d been building him up in her mind, making him into something he really wasn’t.

      A renewed sense of hope filled her. Maybe this would turn out to be a good thing for her. But they had to be cautious.

      “I СКАЧАТЬ