Flight of Fantasy. Valerie Parv

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СКАЧАТЬ a real wife, not a play-acting one, she thought painfully. It occurred to her that perhaps there weren’t many people he could take into his confidence. With his knowledge of her own personnel file, she was hardly likely to betray his confidence, so he felt safe telling her the facts. With a feeling of emptiness, she nodded.

      He linked his hands behind his head and stared at the ocean beyond the window. ‘Julie endured it as long as she could but her husband’s womanising got too much to ignore. Eight months ago, she telephoned me to say she was leaving him. She and Katie were to stay with me until she decided their future.’

      A lump rose in Eden’s throat. Was it his sister’s experience which had soured him on the idea of marriage? ‘What happened?’ she asked softly.

      ‘Her husband followed them in his own car, finally forcing them off the road. The roads were wet. Both cars rolled, killing their drivers. Katie was strapped into the back seat of Julie’s car and they were able to get her out with only minor scratches.’

      ‘How horrible,’ Eden said, wanting to cry. ‘Is Katie all right now?’

      ‘She has occasional nightmares about the crash but I’ve tried to give her as normal a home life as possible. I moved to a house along Nutgrove Beach where she seems to have settled down.’

      The area was one of the most exclusive residential parts of Hobart, only a few minutes’ drive from the city centre. ‘Who takes care of her while you’re away from home?’

      ‘Our housekeeper, Ellen. She worked for Julie before the tragedy, and has known Katie since she was born, so it’s an ideal arrangement.’

      Slade as a family man, with an adopted daughter, was so at odds with her perceptions of him that she felt confused. ‘You must love Katie very much to do all that for her,’ she speculated.

      ‘That’s the trouble,’ he said harshly. ‘I don’t know. I’m still getting used to this father business.’

      Eden sat up, hugging her knees close to her chest, unaware of how youthful the pose made her look. ‘Why did you decide to adopt her if fatherhood is so unappealing?’

      ‘I didn’t say it was unappealing.’

      ‘Your tone did.’

      Irritation furrowed his brow. ‘You’re right. I never wanted the domestic package of a wife and two-point-five children. I had my parents’ and Julie’s marriage to prove that it doesn’t work. But I couldn’t abandon my own sister’s child.’

      Anger rose in Eden, coiling tightly in her chest until she had to say what was on her mind. ‘Well, no wonder you don’t enjoy fatherhood with that attitude. Katie’s probably well aware that she’s a duty to you.’

      ‘I’ve never allowed her to know how I feel.’

      ‘You don’t have to. Children know when they’re loved and wanted.’

      His thunderous expression should have warned her she’d gone too far. ‘As far as I’m aware, you’re no expert on the subject of marriage and children, unless you lied about them, too.’

      ‘I didn’t lie. It was a stupid misunderstanding which got out of hand.’ Without telling him the whole story, she couldn’t convince him that she had allowed the error to stand out of the purest motives.

      ‘Before coming to work for you, I spent some time as a teacher’s aide in a kindergarten. I thought about getting a certificate in early childhood education.’ Until the need to earn a living had ruled out the required years of study, she thought ruefully.

      ‘But corporate communications promised bigger rewards and a fast track to the top.’ He put his own interpretation on the facts.

      She shook her head until her hair haloed around her head. ‘It may look that way, but it wasn’t why I gave up teaching. I loved being around the little ones. They’re so eager to learn, so fascinated by the newness of the world.’

      He took in her shining eyes and heightened colour. ‘You sound like perfect mother material. When are you going to get off the career ladder and have some of your own?’

      Pain knifed through her until she jumped to her feet. ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about,’ she threw at him and flung herself through the door into her bedroom, where she leaned against the door, her chest aching with unshed tears.

      His fist pounded on the door, sending vibrations shuddering through her. ‘Go away,’ she shouted.

      ‘Not until you tell me what I said to provoke such an outburst,’ he insisted. ‘You’d better open up. I’ll break the door down if I have to.’

      She had no doubt that he meant it and had the strength to back up his threat. Shakily, she opened the door, guarding a narrow opening with her body as if daring him to thrust past her. His shoulder forced the opening steadily wider until she gave up and moved aside. Standing in front of the window, she wrapped her arms around her trembling body.

      He came up behind her. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him reach for her, and every nerveending tensed. If he touched her, her defences would crumble and she’d be forced to tell him the truth.

      Instead, he rested his hands on the back of a chair alongside her, his arms enclosing her without touching her. ‘What is it, Eden? What did I say?’

      ‘You didn’t say anything. The problem is mine. I can’t have children.’

      He swore under his breath. ‘And I went and put my foot right in it, didn’t I?’

      ‘You couldn’t know.’ Her voice was ragged. This was the last subject she had expected to discuss with him. ‘It isn’t something I like to advertise.’

      ‘Of course not.’ The compassion in his voice caught her by surprise. She hadn’t expected him to make allowances for any kind of weakness. She searched his face, seeking at least a trace of the distaste he must be feeling, but found none. ‘What’s the problem, something physiological?’ he asked gently.

      She was curiously unwilling to let him think she was less than a whole woman. ‘Everything works,’ she said, aware that his concern threatened to undermine her shaky defences.

      His hand drifted to her cheek, his touch feather-light. ‘I wasn’t doubting your womanhood,’ he assured her. ‘You have only to look into a mirror to see the beauty and femininity you possess in breathtaking abundance.’

      There was no need. She could see it reflected in his eyes as he regarded her with heart-stopping intensity. Her heart hammered against her ribs. How had they shifted on to such dangerously intimate ground so quickly? It must be the talk of babies which clouded her mind with images of Slade making love to her, the vision so vivid that a gnawing sense of loss filled her. Tears sprang to her eyes.

      Slade caught one droplet on the tip of a finger and tut-tutted softly. ‘I’m sorry I brought up a sensitive subject. Isn’t there anything to be done—test tubes, donor sperm, that sort of thing?’

      He had totally misread her tears. For once, they weren’t for the child she was capable of bearing but dared not, but for a future which was also beyond her reach.

      ‘There’s СКАЧАТЬ