Single Mama Drama. Kayla Perrin

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СКАЧАТЬ wrong with Kendall?” Alaina asked, sounding a tad defensive. “It’s quiet, beautiful, a great place to raise a family. Not everyone can live on South Beach.”

      “Alaina,” Debbie began, “don’t take everything so personally. We know Kendall is a beautiful place. It’s just that if it were any farther west, it’d be in Naples.”

      Despite my misery, I cracked a smile at Alaina’s shocked look. If there was one topic that got Alaina riled, it was the subject of Kendall being too far from the center of Miami.

      “I love Kendall,” I said, then misery gripped me again. “But my perfect sister and her perfect family live there. I’ll lose my mind if I have to move in with them. And I love the penthouse Eli and I bought. But I wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for Eli. I’ll have to move, and Rayna…how many changes does my little girl have to deal with in her short life? Carla’s been the best babysitter ever. And Eli…” My voice cracked, forcing me to finally slow my rant. “She loved Eli so much.”

      “And now we know that Eli was a no-good piece of shit,” Debbie said frankly. “However, let’s hope he had the good sense to have a will written.”

      “Yes!” Alaina exclaimed, excited. “He played for the Braves. He’s got to have a will. And I’m sure he’ll have left you enough money to pay off the mortgage.”

      My heart lifted with hope. “Lord, I hope so. But he hasn’t played in seven years. We never really discussed it, but I don’t think he’s got millions in the bank anymore.” I caught myself talking about him in the present tense, as though he were still alive, and my stomach tightened with the sickest of feelings. I wondered when I’d ever get used to referring to him in the past tense.

      “And life insurance,” Alaina continued. “He must have had life insurance.”

      “Forget life insurance,” Debbie said. “At the very least, you both must have gotten mortgage insurance from the bank. In the event that one of you dies, the mortgage should be paid off.”

      I heard what Debbie and Alaina were saying, but my brain—and my heart—were stuck on the reality that I’d have to refer to Eli in the past tense.

      Dead. Gone. Was my fiancé.

      Killed while screwing his lover.

      A tear rolled down my cheek, and both Debbie and Alaina stopped talking. “I can’t believe he was cheating on me,” I said as they stared at me. “I can’t believe he’s dead. I can hardly fathom this. What do I tell my daughter?”

      “I don’t know,” Debbie admitted, her shoulders drooping. “I really don’t.”

      “You’ve talked to her about heaven, haven’t you?” Alaina asked. “When my kids’ hamster died, I told them that he’d gone to hamster heaven, where he was running to his heart’s content. That brought them a sense of peace.”

      I didn’t see how the fate of a family pet could even compare to the death of a father, but didn’t say so. Instead I said, “No, I haven’t talked to Rayna about heaven. I figured she’s a little young to understand the concept.”

      For several moments, no one spoke. What was there to say? Eli was dead, and nothing either of them said would make that reality any easier to deal with.

      “I know I need you here,” Debbie said, breaking the silence, “but you go on home. I meant it when I said you could take as much time as you need. Paid leave, of course.”

      I sighed. The idea of going home frightened me more than staying at the office. Going home meant I’d have to deal with Rayna, and I was not in the least bit ready to throw her little world into upheaval.

      “Do you mind if I stay here for a while?” I asked Debbie. “Maybe just to rest in my office—if I can. Going home means…I’m just not ready.”

      Debbie squeezed my hand. “Of course. You do whatever you need to do.”

      “I think I’ll just sit here for a minute, if you don’t mind.”

      “You need anything?” Alaina asked. “Coffee? Water?”

      “No.” I shook my head.

      “All right, Alaina,” Debbie said. “Let’s give Vanessa some peace and quiet.”

      Moments later they were gone, the heavy conference door closed behind them.

      And I was alone.

      The way I would be from now on. Vanessa Cain, single. No significant other.

      Except for my baby, of course. She was and always would be my world.

      With that thought in mind, I forced myself to stand. As Debbie had so eloquently said, Eli was a louse. Even if he hadn’t been murdered, I would have suffered heartbreak when I learned he’d been cheating on me. This way, I’d been spared the agony of marrying him and then having to deal with a messy divorce.

      I was better off—even if it didn’t feel that way at the moment.

      I headed to my office, not turning to acknowledge the people who were throwing curious glances my way. I’d lost it once. I didn’t plan on having another meltdown. Not over Eli, when he so clearly didn’t deserve my tears.

      In my office, I closed the door and grabbed the bottle of Advil I kept in my desk for the days when the stress at work became too much.

      This definitely counted as one of those times. I downed two capsules with my now cold coffee, then made my way to the small love seat near the window. I had a great view overlooking the Port of Miami and Bayside, a trendy area filled with shops and restaurants along the waterfront. It was a view that normally lifted my spirits, but I didn’t even peer outside as I plopped down on my sofa and closed my eyes.

      I lay there wishing that I could rewind this morning and start over. Actually, I’d rewind to the night before and erase the dumb fight I’d had with Eli. Then he wouldn’t have left, and he wouldn’t have ended up in another woman’s bed.

      And he wouldn’t be dead right now.

      I closed my eyes, tried to force sleep to take me away from this nightmare. It wouldn’t come.

      I couldn’t stop thinking about Eli, trying to imagine the man I’d last seen very much alive suddenly dead. My mind simply couldn’t comprehend this information in a real way. It seemed inconceivable that I wouldn’t see him when I went home later. That I would never see him again.

      He was with another woman.

      Had Eli been killed in a car crash, or gunned down at an ATM, I think I wouldn’t have had such a hard time dealing with the news of his death. But the fact that he’d been cheating on me when it had happened was the ultimate bitter pill to swallow.

      Who was this woman? Had Eli been involved in an ongoing affair with her? Or had he picked her up in a bar last night after he’d left our place? Had Eli truly been in love with me? Or had I been so blinded by my feelings for him that I’d missed all the signs that he was going to break my heart?

      Replaying our life together in СКАЧАТЬ