Small Holdings. Nicola Barker

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СКАЧАТЬ word, not a single word.’

      I almost said something, but when I opened my mouth I was only coughing.

      That’ s deception,’ Doug said. ‘We can’t trust her. She’s a liability.’

      ‘I like her,’ Ray said cheerfully. ‘She’s OK.’

      Doug focused on Ray. ‘Ray,’ he said, ‘you have all the business sense of a Savoy cabbage.’

      Ray smiled. ‘True,’ he said, ‘I see your point, Doug.’

      After a short pause, I said, ‘I think we should wait a while before we make any decisions. Give it some thought. Take a vote, later on. And maybe we should think about the meeting on Friday before all this other business.’

      ‘It’s under control,’ Doug said, haughty. ‘I want Nancy out. I can’t operate, I can’t deal with that kind of deception. I’ll tell her to her face when she crawls in here. No problem.’

      ‘It’s just . . .’ I said, ‘It’s only . . .’

      ‘First things first, Phil,’ Doug said, calmly. ‘We’ll lance her like a boil. Tidy things up a bit.’

      Ray’s face began to move, to curdle, like he was having a thought which was germinating in his big, fat cheeks, swelling, expanding, filling him up.

      ‘Doug,’ he said, his thought at last finding a voice, a small voice, ‘Doug, we were all thinking that maybe you should take things a bit easy for a while . . .’

      Doug stared calmly at Ray, his eyes taking in Ray’s pink lips and his yellow beard, his several chins, the dimple in his cheek.

      ‘You’re going crazy, fat boy, you’re crazy if you think I need to take things slow. I’m only just starting. I’m taking stock, fat boy. I’m seeing things big and I’m seeing them better than I’ve ever seen them. Better than ever.’

      Ray looked at his hands. Ten fingers, all in good working order. ‘Uh, fine,’ he said. ‘It’s just that Phil . . .’

      Doug turned, ‘Phil?’

      I scratched my neck, my brain fizzy and empty. The kitchen is only a small room and it hasn’t been decorated in years. Above the oven, grease has stained the wallpaper a steamy yellow. The grey floor tiles are full of prints, footprints and mud-prints and cat-prints.

      ‘Is there something you’re wanting to say to me Phil? Anything? The meeting on Friday? Anything you think I can’t handle? Want to tell me?’

      It’s not exactly that I couldn’t say anything, more that I didn’t really have anything to say. What was my evidence, after all? Doug was being strange, but thinking about it, he’d always been irascible, changeable, unpredictable. It wasn’t so much anything in particular, any special fact or detail I was burdened with, more a feeling, a sensation.

      Saleem had said that we were connected in some way, she and I, the two of us, connected together, against Doug, because Doug was thinking about Gaps, and thinking about making Gaps. And Nancy . . . and Nancy . . . And I was contemplating all these things when I suddenly heard a voice and the voice was saying, ‘I love this place, Doug. I love this place.’ It was my voice. Blood rushed into my cheeks. I felt a stabbing sensation in my chest.

      Doug’s face broke into a broad grin. His teeth were tombstones.

      ‘Phil,’ he said, laughing, ‘I’m going to the greenhouse. Gonna have a little talk to my big vegetables.’

      And off he went.

      As soon as Doug had gone, Saleem bounced back in. She put her stick down on the table, pulled out a chair and sat down.

      ‘Now what? Nancy’s in some kind of trouble?’

      Ray nodded. His expression was so mournful and forlorn that it looked like his cheeks were in danger of melting and dripping and dribbling down on to the table. ‘Oh God,’ he said, ‘her timing’s less than perfect.’ I couldn’t think of anything to add. Eventually I said, ‘Let’s not get this all out of proportion.’

      ‘No?’ Ray glanced up, hopeful, ‘You think it’ll work itself out?’

      ‘More than likely.’

      ‘Oh shut up, Phil,’ Saleem snapped. ‘What the fuck do you know? ‘

      My skin felt tight. I looked at my watch, ‘It’s nearly time to knock off.’

      ‘I need a drink,’ Ray said, ‘and a few packets of crisps. Want to come to The Fox for a while?’

      Before I could answer the kitchen door opened slightly and Cog wandered in. Cog was the park’s cat who behaved like a dog, was dogged and doggish, ran for sticks and didn’t mind a cuff and a wrestle. Nancy was two paces behind him.

      ‘Me and Cog are going for a run together,’ she announced. Her voice was just a fraction too loud.

      ‘Did you see Doug?’ Ray asked nervously.

      ‘Doug? I saw him.’

      She walked to the sink and rinsed her hands. She seemed calm.

      ‘Did Doug say anything?’ Ray asked, even more nervously.

      ‘Doug says a lot of things, Doug’s a sandwich short of a picnic ‘

      ‘Doug’s elevator,’ Ray grinned, ‘doesn’t stop at all floors.’

      ‘That’s as maybe,’ I said, ‘but above all else, it’s Doug who holds this place together.’

      Saleem cocked her head at this. ‘I don’t think so,’ she said. ‘It’s you that holds this place together, and Ray, and even Nancy. Doug holds the business together.’

      ‘It’s the same thing,’ I said, confident of this fact.

      ‘Not at all.’

      Nancy dried her hands on a tea towel. ‘I’m going for a run,’ she said, ‘Come on, Cog. ‘ She slapped her thigh. Cog came to heel.

      ‘Didn’t Doug say anything?’ Ray asked, for the second time. Nancy started jogging gently on the spot, warming up. ‘Did Phil tell you,’ she asked Ray, still very loud, ‘that I had another knock in the truck?’

      Saleem intervened on my behalf. She said, ‘Doug already knew. The insurance people rang him.’

      ‘I was unloading the privet from the van,’ Nancy said, ‘and Doug came over and asked me to load it up again.’

      Saleem, I noticed, was watching Nancy closely, staring at her, and she had a smile on her lips but her eyes were full of something else, an intensity, a fixity, a cruelty.

      ‘Privet?’ I asked, unable to stop myself. ‘You were unloading privet?’

      Nancy nodded, distracted. ‘Neat bushes with small, dark green leaves. A ton of them.’

      ‘You СКАЧАТЬ