Final Score. Michelle Betham

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       Chapter Five

      ‘Jesus, Brandon, what do you want?’

      ‘Good to see you, too, Dad.’

      Jim sighed, standing aside to let his son through into the hall. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just been a long day. Derby matches always seem to drain me more than any others.’

      ‘At least your side won.’

      Jim couldn’t help but smile as he followed Brandon into the living room. ‘You did your best to stop that from happening.’

      ‘Yeah. I did my best.’ He walked over to the fireplace, turning around and folding his arms as he looked at his father. ‘Who’s Carrie Jackson?’

      Jim almost dropped the glass of whiskey he was holding, then leant back against the sideboard to steady himself.

      ‘Who is she, Dad?’

      Jim poured himself another drink, turning his back on Brandon. ‘It’s none of your business.’

      ‘Is she the reason you can’t let yourself be happy? The reason you won’t let yourself be happy?’

      Jim turned back around, his expression telling Brandon he was in no mood to talk about this. ‘I’m shutting this conversation down, Brandon. Right now.’

      ‘Is she the reason you push people away?’

      ‘I won’t tell you again, son.’

      ‘Like you pushed Amber away?’

      ‘She was pregnant with another man’s baby.’

      ‘That wasn’t the fucking reason, Dad, and you know it.’ Brandon’s eyes were holding Jim’s gaze now, refusing to let go. ‘You are still crazy-in-love with her, but you just can’t let yourself be happy.’

      ‘If you know all of this…’

      ‘All I know is the name, Dad. All I know is you were once in a relationship with a girl called Carrie Jackson. That’s all I know. Because I wanted you to tell me the rest. I wanted you to tell me the reason why she affected your life so much you won’t let yourself be happy with a woman you are so obviously in love with.’

      Jim narrowed his eyes as he stared at his son. ‘Have you… have you been checking up on me?’

      ‘The internet is a wonderful tool, Dad. You’d be amazed at what you can find out after just a half hour of searching.’

      ‘I don’t believe this…’ He downed his whiskey, slamming the glass down onto the sideboard behind him, a mixture of panic and fear washing over him. He was losing control again, and he didn’t like that. It never made him feel comfortable. Losing control wasn’t something Jim Allen liked to make a habit of. ‘You need to go, Brandon. Now. Please. I really need you to go.’

      Brandon held up his hands in defeat, shaking his head as he walked over to the door, stopping when he reached Jim. ‘You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Dad. Acting like some kind of robot who pushes his feelings to one side. Someone who finds happiness – who actually has it right there in his hands, and then just lets it go, as though it means nothing. When it actually means everything. You can’t keep on doing this, because it’ll destroy you.’

      Jim grabbed Brandon’s arm as he walked out of the door. ‘I get scared, Brandon.’

      ‘Who was she, Dad?’

      Jim looked down, letting go of Brandon’s arm, signalling the end of the conversation. It was over. Done. Finished. For now.

      Brandon left without saying another word. Jim waited until he heard the front door slam shut before pouring himself yet another drink, the alcohol doing little to numb those feelings that short conversation with his son had caused to resurface.

      As he felt totally unexpected tears fill his eyes, he furiously blinked them back, refusing to let this bring him down. He just had to put it back where it belonged, out of his mind, out of reach, and carry on. Just like he had been doing ever since. Just like he needed to do again.

       *

      Amber closed the car door and leaned back against it, shutting her eyes as the cold north-easterly wind whipped across her face. But it was a reality she needed to feel before she stepped back inside a bubble she knew full well she should be steering clear of. It had burst so many times she couldn’t really keep count any more, but it was a bubble she needed to be in right now. She needed him, needed his touch, his kiss; she needed to feel him inside her. She needed that.

      Walking slowly up the driveway, she ran her fingers lightly along the side of his car, already feeling the forecasted frost begin to form on the cold surface. She began to shiver, the temperature was rapidly falling as the night wore on, and for a brief second she wondered if the fact she’d spent the last two hours just driving around – was that a warning sign? Should she be listening to those alarm bells, no matter how quietly they were ringing? If she’d needed him that much, why hadn’t she just come straight here when she’d left Tynebridge?

      Finally reaching the front door she watched her fingers as they hovered over the bell. Pressing it was going to restart something she wasn’t sure she was ready for. But it was something she couldn’t stop from happening, because Ronnie was right. She was weak. Where Jim Allen was concerned СКАЧАТЬ