The Flashman Papers: The Complete 12-Book Collection. George Fraser MacDonald

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СКАЧАТЬ were Laborde and Prince Rakota in such a sweat to help Elspeth and me? What was I to them, after all? I’m a suspicious brute, you see, and don’t put much stock in altruistic virtue; there was something up here. I was right, too.

      Laborde presented me to the Prince on an afternoon when Ranavalona was safely out of the way, watching a bullfight, which was her prime hobby. It was a byword that the fighting bulls were the only living things she had any feelings for; the only times she was known to weep was when one of them died, or was badly gored in the ring. So it was deemed safe for me to take an hour off from parade, and with Fankanonikaka, Laborde, and a leading general named Count Rakohaja, I was borne out to the Prince’s garden palace in the suburbs of Antan”.

Rakota received me in his throne room, where I was graciously permitted to prostrate myself before him and his Princess. They were tiny folk – he wasn’t more than five feet tall, and dressed like a Spanish matador, in gold tunic and breeches, buckled shoes, and a Mexican sombrero. He was about sixteen, lively and smiling all over his round olive face; he had the beginnings of a moustache.⁴¹ His wife was much the same, a dumpy little bundle in yellow silk; if anything, her moustache was further along than his. They spoke good French, and when I’d clambered upright Rakota said he had brilliant reports of the way I was training the troops, especially the royal guardsmen.

      “Sergeant-General Flashman has worked wonders with the men, and the best officers,” agreed Count Rakohaja; he was a big, lean Hova aristocrat with a scar on his cheek, dressed in a coat and trousers which would have been perfect St James’s, if they hadn’t been made of bright green velvet. “Your highness will be enchanted to learn that he has already won the loyalty of all under his command, and has shown himself a most dependable and trustworthy officer.”

      Which was doing it rather too brown, but the Prince beamed on me.

      “Most gratifying,” says he. “Winning the confidence of the troops is the first essential in a leader. As commander-in-chief – under the sublime authority of Her Majesty, The Great Cow Who Nourishes All The World With Her Milk, of course – I congratulate you, sergeant-general, and assure you that your zeal and loyalty will be amply rewarded.”

      It seemed a trifle odd. I wasn’t a commander, but a glorified drill instructor, and everyone knew it. However, I responded politely that I didn’t doubt the troops would follow me from h--l to Huddersfield and back, which seemed to please his highness, for he ordered up chocolate and we stood about sipping it from silver bowls, two-handed. (The Malagassies have no idea of quantity; there must have been a gallon of the sickly muck in each bowl, and the gurgling of the royal consumption was something to hear.)

      It seemed to me that Prince and Princess were slightly nervous; he kept darting glances at Rakohaja and Fankanonikaka, and his little chubby consort, whenever she caught my eye, smiled timidly and bobbed like a charwoman seeking employment. The Prince asked me a few more questions, in an offhand way – about the quality of the lower-rank commanders, the equipment of palace pickets, the standard of marksmanship, and so on, which I answered satisfactorily, noting that he seemed specially interested in the household troops. Then he took one last gulp and belch at his chocolate, wiped his moustache on his sleeve, and says to me, with a little smile and wave:

      “You are permitted to withdraw to the other end of the room,” and began to talk in Malagassy to the others.

      Mystified, I bowed and retreated, a door at the far end opened, and there was Elspeth, smiling radiantly, and dressed in the worst possible taste in a garden-party confection of purple taffeta – purple on a blonde, G-d help us – tripping towards me with her arms out. In a moment Madagascar was forgotten, with its Queen and horrors and dressed-up mountebanks; I had her in my arms, kissing her, and she was murmuring endearments in my ear. Then propriety returned, and I glanced round at the others. They were ignoring us – all except Fankanonikaka, who was having a sly peep – so I enfolded her again, inhaling her perfume while she prattled her delight at seeing me.

      “… for it has been so long, and while their highnesses have been kindness itself, I have been yearning for you night and day, my love. Do you like my new dress? – her highness chose it for me herself, and we think it most becoming, and it is so heavenly to have proper clothes again, after those dreadful sarongas – but we will not talk of that, and the hateful separation, and the odious behaviour of that… that man Don Solomon – but now we are rid of him, and safely here, and it is such fun – if it were not that your duties keep you from me. Oh, Harry, must they? But I must be a good wife, as I always promised, and not put myself forward where your duty is concerned, and indeed I know the separation is as cruel for you as for me – and, oh, I do miss you …”

      Here she embraced me again, and drew me down on to a settle – the others were deep in their own conversation, although the dumpy little Princess fluttered her fingers at us shyly, and Elspeth must rise to curtsey – even black royalty was just nuts to her, obviously – before resuming her headlong discourse. I never got a word in edgeways, as usual, but I doubt if I’d have been coherent anyway. For to my amazement, Elspeth seemed to have not a care in the world – well, I’ve always known she had a slate loose, and was incapable of seeing farther than her pretty nose – which reminded me to kiss it, tenderly – but this was beyond belief. We were prisoners in this heathen h--l-hole, and to hear her you might have imagined it was a holiday at Brighton. Slowly it dawned on me that she had no true notion of the ghastliness of our plight, or even of what Madagascar was like at all, and as she babbled I began to understand why.

      “… of course, I should like to see more of the country, for the people seemed not disagreeable, but the Prince informs me that the position of foreigners here is delicate, and it is not advisable for me to be seen abroad. For you, of course, it is different, since you are employed by her majesty – oh, tell me, Harry, what she looks like, and what she says! How does she dress? Shall I be presented? Is she young and well-favoured? I should be so jealous – for she cannot fail to be attracted by the handsomest man in England! Oh, Harry, I much admire your uniform – it is quite the style!”

      I’d taken advantage of the custom of the country to wear all red, with a black sash, pretty raffish, I admit. Elspeth fairly glowed at me.

      “But I have so much to tell you, for the Prince and Princess have been so good, and I have the prettiest rooms, and the garden is so beautiful, and there is some very select company in the evenings – all black, of course, and a leetle outré – but most agreeable and considerate. I am most happy and interested – but when shall we go home to England, Harry? I hope it is not too long – for I sometimes feel anxiety for dear Papa, and while it is very pleasant here, it is not quite the same. But I know you will not detain us here longer than must be, for you are the kindest of husbands – but I am sure your work here will be of the greatest service to you, for it is sure to be a valuable experience. I only wish” – her lip suddenly trembled, despite her efforts to smile – “that we could be together again … in the same house … oh, Harry, darling, I miss you so!”

      And the little clothhead began piping her eye, leaning on my shoulder – as though she had anything worth weeping about! It was a d----d letdown, for I’d been looking forward to pouring out my woes and complaints to her, bemoaning my lot, describing the horrors of my plight – the respectable bits, anyway – and generally making her flesh creep with my anxieties. But there seemed no point now in alarming her – she’d just have done something idiotic, and with the others almost in earshot, the less I said the better. So I just patted her shoulder to cheer her up.

      “Now then, old girl,” says I, “don’t be a fool. What’ll their highnesses think of your bleating and bawling? Wipe your nose – you’re a lot better off than some, you know.”

      “I know. I am very foolish,” says she, sniffing, and presently, when the Prince and СКАЧАТЬ