The chosen vessel. Fighting of the spirits. Miki Lazović

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СКАЧАТЬ and when he would be allowed to go home. The doctor told that the condition of mentality of father is changeable. Some time it is excellent, he speaks and understands what he is doing, but it happens – he is completely lost, doesn’t know where he is and what he speaks. His treatment will last for ten – fifteen days more.

      Next day grandfather went back, and mother remained to care for us. Relatives also brought something, but there were enough products brought by grandfather. So, we lived carefree all the time of fatherly treatment. At last, mother went to take away father from hospital and we remained to wait at home. For these fifteen days, none of his family came to visit him. They didn’t visit him and mother’s sister who tried to merry her daughter with him.

      “Poor creature, and for God it is heavy to care about you!” – My mother often whispered.

      Only occasionally father didn’t know that he does and speaks. He ceased to drink. From all forces worked equipping this lodge constructed by own hands. He worked hard and built. Within two years after completely stopped drinking in everything improvement was visible. Mother became pregnant again. During this time, while we fought for survival, relatives of father married his sister and married his brother. They organized weddings both for sister and for brother. Of course, father wasn’t invited as they had no contacts. These events very much touched him. After all tablets and the injections given in hospital the doctors prohibited him strictly to take any alcohol. But he made it. Again, all that with huge work was created fell in water. Father more and more got drunk day by day. Mother gave birth to daughter. In such conditions while we were more often hungry, than full, there passed two more years. In our lodge, only with kitchen and a room, there was neither floor, nor electricity, and I didn’t speak about water and a bathtub. In the kitchen, there are a wooden bed, a table, four loosened chairs and two benches on which could sit children, the furnace on firewood and in a corner a rack for ware. And in the room except three big beds made by father there was one case for clothes.

      We, children, had our own world. We played a blind – man’s – buff and other games as we had no toys to play them as other children. Very few people came to us. So, we played. So it was at this day too. I was three and a half years old when during the game in a blind – man’s – buff I struck left knee. I cried a little, but after a while continued to play with brothers and sisters. Next day grandfather came and brought different food. At that day father was half – drunk. Mother prepared a little to treat uncle. I remember it, though I was a small child, as my grandfather put me on his knees, and then put the hands on my knee. He held hands and I felt an increasing warmth. Grandfather told that it is necessary to take me to the doctor because he felt by the fingers that I injured some nerve which can become the reason of muscles withering on a leg. Mother was frightened because she knew about his force, only half – drunk father began to quarrel on grandfather.

      “Are you, Gatso, normal? Look, the child is like a gold apple and you invent something and philosophize. With such words don’t cross my threshold anymore!”

      “Listen, Nedzhelko”, – grandfather began to speak with a calming voice. – You know how much I respect and appreciate you!”

      “Damn you. If you respect me, so never put a curse on the child”.

      “God be with you, Nedzhelko! How can you tell this? What damnation? This is my child too!”

      “Go on, go on, Gatso. All know that you are able to do any nonsenses…”

      “It isn’t a shame!” – mother spat towards father – How can you tell such words to uncle?”

      “Be silent, witch, probably It’s you, who probably persuaded this witcher to say such things!” – Father continued with a half-drunk voice.

      Grandfather tried to calm them, but only mother, because of all endured torments and humiliations and braved by the presence of grandfather, couldn’t keep silent. She answered him in the sickest way:

      “I know that there are not bigger witches and sluts than your sisters…”

      The unexpected blow knocked down her from a chair. Half – drunk father began to beat her. Grandfather tried to stop him, but father hit him and grandfather felt in other party. We began to cry and squall. We felt sorry for mother and grandfather.

      “I will kill you, slut! I will break off on hundred pieces!” – shouted father and began to bit mother who was doubled up and tried to protect her head with hands.

      Grandfather rose after received blow, directed his hands in the direction of father and father felt as if he was hit by a huge fist. Grandfather transferred hands to another side and father flew away as a rag doll there. He hit a back against a wooden rack with the placed ware. Many plates broke. Once again grandfather transferred hands, and once again the body departed and some back broke two – three chairs. Father was rather large person, but at that moment I had feeling that his body is similar to a rag which is shaken out by someone. Though I was still small, but then I thought that it is an excellent lesson for father and after that he will improve his behavior and will better treat mother and us. Let him fell what we experience when he daily beats us! Several minutes passed, but father didn’t move. Then he began to shake his head. We still poorly cried and mother calmed us. We thought that when he gets up, he will revenge to all of us. Somehow father, with a great difficulty, sat down at a table. He took a glass and poured out all water on the head. He shook it and water was sprayed extensively.

      “Listen, Nedzhelko, that I want to tell you and remember it well. Don’t dare more in this life even to think of hitting this child. You’ve to know. If I hear that you at least once hit him, you will remember me and you will never forget it. My sister left on me a precept of caring for her and you because of the bad drunk head beat her! The reason is your drinking… And, believe me, I won’t let you do it!”

      In these several minutes father completely sobered.

      “They say that each dog barks in front of his house. So, I did alike in my home. Raki and a demon made of me inhuman”.

      “Nedzhelko, I don’t want to offend you and to say that you are inhuman. I would never do it, but couldn’t see as you beat my niece. I know that you want to promise me that you won’t beat her and you will stop drink, only it will last to the first bottle. Raki kills you, Nedzhelko. And you saw that you are able to live without it. You didn’t drink more than for two years. At this time, you worked and you were respected by people”.

      “It isn’t necessary, Gatso, it isn’t necessary, I ask you! You don’t know what happens inside my heart. Pain, Gatso, breaks me off. I worried about my family. Father has asked me to care for all and my sisters… They have killed me, Gatso. If we were a bad family, I would understand… And so, we are rich, respected, and they have dishonored us. And where, Gatso, I am respected? Where we will only appear, people laugh over me and provoke. Avoid to talk to me and if it will happen, then unwillingly. I feel superfluous unusual everywhere. My family has thrown us. No, Gatso, I can’t promise to stop drinking. I will drink till I’ll be alive, but I will try not to beat my family at least. You are right. They aren’t guilty of anything. I am guilty that I have such big family and that has spoiled their life”.

      “Nedzhelko, you have to live for the sake of them and you shouldn’t be concerned that others tell”.

      “In vain, Gatso, everything is vain. Only when I will get drunk I don’t see a smile on strange faces and I don’t hear their insult. Here I am completely sober and things that I will promise now, believe me, so will be till my last day in life. I will drink while I’m alive, but my family I won’t offend. And one more thing, Gatso. I am poor, but I ask you while I live, don’t come and don’t bring us gifts any more”.

      Mother has begun СКАЧАТЬ