The Master of Mrs. Chilvers: An Improbable Comedy. Jerome Klapka Jerome

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СКАЧАТЬ Franchise League, having regard to the decision of the House of Lords in McCaw v. Potts —

      St. Herbert. (Looking over.) Two t’s.

      Lady Mogton. – resolves to bring forward a woman candidate to contest the next bye-election. (Suddenly to Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers, who is chattering.) Do you agree or disagree?

      Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers. My dear! How can you ask? Of course we all agree. (To Elizabeth.) You agree, don’t you?

      Elizabeth. Of course, even if elected, she would not be allowed to take her seat.

      Phoebe. How do you know? Nothing more full of surprises than English law.

      Lady Mogton. At the present stage I regard that point as immaterial. What I am thinking of is the advertisement. A female candidate upon the platform will concentrate the whole attention of the country on our movement.

      St. Herbert. It might even be prudent – until you have got the vote – to keep it dark that you will soon be proceeding to the next inevitable step.

      Elizabeth. You think even man could be so easily deceived!

      St. Herbert. Man has had so much practice in being deceived. It comes naturally to him.

      Elizabeth. Poor devil!

      Lady Mogton. The only question remaining to be discussed is the candidate.

      Annys. Is there not danger that between now and the next bye-election the Government may, having regard to this case, bring in a bill to stop women candidates from going to the poll?

      St. Herbert. I have thought of that. Fortunately, the case seems to have attracted very little attention. If a bye-election occurred soon there would hardly be time.

      Lady Mogton. It must be the very next one that does occur – wherever it is.

      Janet. I am sure that in the East End we should have a chance.

      Phoebe. Great Scott! Just think. If we were to win it!

      St. Herbert. If you could get a straight fight against a Liberal I believe you would.

      Annys. Why is the Government so unpopular?

      St. Herbert. Well, take the weather alone – twelve degrees of frost again last night.

      Janet. In St. George’s Road the sewer has burst. The water is in the rooms where the children are sleeping. (She clenches her hands.)

      Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers. (She shakes her head.) Something ought really to be done.

      Lady Mogton. Has anybody any suggestion to make? – as regards the candidate. There’s no advantage in going outside. It will have to be one of ourselves.

      Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers. Won’t you, dear?

      Lady Mogton. I shall be better employed organising. My own feeling is that it ought to be Annys. (To St. Herbert.) What do you think?

      St. Herbert. Undoubtedly.

      Annys. I’d rather not.

      Lady Mogton. It’s not a question of liking. It’s a question of duty. For this occasion we shall be appealing to the male voter. Our candidate must be a woman popular with men. The choice is somewhat limited.

      Elizabeth. No one will put up so good a fight as you.

      Annys. Will you give me till this evening?

      Lady Mogton. What for?

      Annys. I should like to consult Geoffrey.

      Lady Mogton. You think he would object?

      Annys. (A little doubtfully.) No. But we have always talked everything over together.

      Lady Mogton. Absurd! He’s one of our staunchest supporters. Of course he’ll be delighted.

      Elizabeth. I think the thing ought to be settled at once.

      Lady Mogton. It must be. I have to return to Manchester to-night. We shall have to get to work immediately.

      St. Herbert. Geoffrey will surely take it as a compliment.

      Janet. Don’t you feel that woman, all over the world, is calling to you?

      Annys. It isn’t that. I’m not trying to shirk it. I merely thought that if there had been time – of course, if you really think —

      Lady Mogton. You consent?

      Annys. Yes. If it’s everybody’s wish.

      Lady Mogton. That’s settled.

      Phoebe. (She springs up, waving a handkerchief.) Chilvers for ever!

      Janet. (Rises.) God bless you!

      Mrs. Mountcalm-Villiers. (Clapping her hands.) Now we shan’t be long!

      Lady Mogton. (Hammers.) Order, please!

(The three subside.)

      This is serious business. The next step is, of course —

      (The door opens; Geoffrey enters. He is a youngish-looking man of three or four and thirty. Lady Mogton, at the sound of the door, turns. St. Herbert rises. There is a pause.)

      Lady Mogton. We’ve been talking about you. We must apologise for turning your drawing-room —

      Geoffrey. My dear mother-in-law, it is Providence. (He kisses her.) There is no one I was more longing to see.

      Annys. (She has risen.) Hake told me you would be dining at the House.

      Geoffrey. (He comes to her, kisses her, he is in a state of suppressed excitement.) I shall be. I came back to bring you some news.

      Phoebe. We’ve got some news for you. Have you heard —

      Geoffrey. (He stays her.) May I claim man’s privilege for the first word? It is news, I am sure, you will all be delighted to hear. A friend of yours has been appointed to an office where – it is quite possible – he may be of service to you.

      Phoebe. Governorship of Holloway Gaol?

      Geoffrey. Not a bad guess. Very near it. To the Under-Secretaryship for Home Affairs.

      Lady Mogton. Who is it?

      Geoffrey. (He bows.) Your affectionate and devoted servant.

      Annys. You!

      Phoebe. (Genuinely delighted. She is not a quick thinker.) Bravo! Congratulations, old boy! (She has risen—she slaps him on the back.)

      Annys. Geoffrey! (She puts her arms about him.) You never told me anything.

      Geoffrey. I know, dear. I was afraid. It mightn’t have come off. And then you would have been so disappointed.

      Annys. СКАЧАТЬ