What Not to Do If You Turn Invisible. Ross Welford
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Название: What Not to Do If You Turn Invisible

Автор: Ross Welford

Издательство: HarperCollins

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isbn: 9780008156367

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      ‘Emergency. Which service do you require?’

      ‘Ambulance, please,’ I say with a trembling voice. I have never made an emergency call before. It’s pretty nerve-racking, I can tell you.

      ‘Putting you through now.’

      And I wait.

      ‘North Tyneside Ambulance Service. Can I get your name and number, please?’

      It’s a young Geordie woman on the other end. She sounds nice and I relax a bit.

      ‘It’s Ethel Leatherhead. 07877 654 344.’

      ‘Thank you. What is the nature of your emergency, please?’

      I should have learned my lesson from when I told Gram. It sounded ridiculous when I told her. It’s not going to sound any less ridiculous when I tell an emergency services operator that I have become invisible.

      ‘I … I can’t really say. I just need an ambulance urgently.’

      ‘I’m sorry, erm … Ethel, is it? I do need to know the nature of the emergency before I can send an ambulance.’

      ‘I can’t tell you. It’s just … really urgent, OK? I’m in serious trouble.’

      The operator still sounds nice. She’s being gentle.

      ‘Listen, pet, I cannit help you unless you tell me what’s wrong. Are you calling from home?’

      ‘Yes.’

      ‘And are you injured?’

      ‘Well … not exactly injured, it’s just …’

      ‘OK, flower. Calm down. Are you in pain?’

      ‘No.’

      ‘And are you or anyone else in immediate danger of pain or injury?’

      I give a little sigh. ‘No. Only—’

      ‘And is there anyone else there with you? Are you bein’ threatened in any way?’

      ‘No.’ I know where this is going.

      ‘Well, there is another number to call for non-emergency medical assistance, Ethel. Have you got a pen there, love?’

      I am close to tears now, and if I was thinking straight I would foresee the consequences of blurting out to her as I do, but, well, I’m not exactly level-headed right now.

      ‘I’ve become invisible, and I’m really scared, and I need an ambulance now!’

      That’s when the operator’s tone changes from reassuring and gentle to weary and tense.

      ‘You’ve become invisible? I see. Listen, pet, I have had enough. You know these calls are recorded and traceable? I’m logging this as a nuisance call, so if you call back I’m informing the police. Now gerroff the line and make way for genuine emergencies. Invisible? You kids, honestly. You drive us up the wall!’

      And with that, the call ends – along with my hopes for an easy resolution to my problem.

       Logo Missing

      Two hours later, and I’m still invisible.

      I have had a long, hot shower, wondering if perhaps the invisibility could be washed off – you know, like a coating or something? I scrubbed and scrubbed to the point that I was quite sore, but still the soap lathered up on what looked like nothing, and when I rinsed off there was still nothing, only wet footprints on the bathroom floor.

      Since then, I have been wandering around the house, wondering what to do, how to deal with this, and I’m not making any progress.

      The crying has stopped. That’s not going to get me anywhere, and besides I’m tired of it. I don’t mind admitting, though, that I am completely, utterly, one hundred per cent

      TERRIFIED.

      Terrified squared. Cubed.

      Roughly every five minutes I get up and check in the mirror.

      And then I go back to my laptop and search the internet again for topics including the words ‘invisible’ or ‘invisibility’.

      Most of the things that I try to read are fantastically complicated, involving mathematics and physics and chemistry and biology that are way beyond what we do at school. All the same, it seems that people have been trying to achieve what has happened to me for decades.

      On YouTube there’s a clip of James Bond with an invisible car.

      ‘Adapted camouflage, 007,’ says Q, walking round Bond’s Aston Martin. ‘Tiny cameras on all sides project the image they see onto a light-emitting polymer skin on the opposite side. To the casual eye, it’s as good as invisible.’

      Then he presses a button and the car becomes invisible.

      You know what? Up to right now, I would have said that that was just silly. The clip itself was in an internet list called Top Ten Bond Baloney.

      But now?

      Now I’m not so sure.

      If it can happen to me, why not a car?

      What I have managed to work out is that there are two ways that something could be invisible.

      Are you ready for this?

      I’ll keep it simple.

      First you have to understand how we see stuff. Things are visible because light rays bounce off them and go into our eyes. So if there’s a tree in front of you, the light hits the tree and is reflected onto the back of your eye, and after some nearly instant clever stuff in your brain, you see a tree.

      So the first way to make something invisible is to cover it with a ‘cloaking device’. This makes the light bend round the tree and keep on going, like sticking your finger in a stream of water from a tap: the water bends round your finger, and carries on below as a single stream.

      Lots of scientists say they are very close indeed to developing cloaking devices, especially for military purposes. I suppose they mean making invisible tanks, or ships or planes or even soldiers, which would be pretty cool, actually.

      Are you still with me?

      OK, the second way is to make the light pass straight through the object. This is how glass works and if you’ve ever walked into a glass door like I did once at the Metrocentre, you’ll know how effective it is.

      If СКАЧАТЬ