Citation and Examination of William Shakspeare, Euseby Treen, Joseph Carnaby, and Silas Gough, Clerk. Walter Savage Landor

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СКАЧАТЬ under doe-skin. But that is neither here nor there, albeit, an’ I die, as I must, my heirs, Judith and her boy Elijah, may note it.

      Master Silas, as above, looked sourishly, and cried aloud,—

      “The witnesses! the witnesses! testimony! testimony! We shall now see whose black goes deepest. There is a fork to be had that can hold the slipperiest eel, and a finger that can strip the slimiest. I cry your worship to the witnesses.”

      Sir Thomas.

      “Ay, indeed, we are losing the day; it wastes toward noon, and nothing done. Call the witnesses. How are they called by name? Give me the paper.”

      The paper being forthwith delivered into his worship’s hand by the learned clerk, his worship did read aloud the name of Euseby Treen. Whereupon did Euseby Treen come forth through the great hall-door which was ajar, and answer most audibly,—

      “Your worship!”

      Straightway did Sir Thomas read aloud, in like form and manner, the name of Joseph Carnaby; and in like manner as aforesaid did Joseph Carnaby make answer and say,—

      “Your worship!”

      Lastly did Sir Thomas turn the light of his countenance on William Shakspeare, saying,—

      “Thou seest these good men deponents against thee, William Shakspeare.” And then did Sir Thomas pause. And pending this pause did William Shakspeare look steadfastly in the faces of both; and stroking down his own with the hollow of his hand from the jaw-bone to the chin-point, said unto his honour,—

      “Faith! it would give me much pleasure, and the neighbourhood much vantage, to see these two fellows good men. Joseph Carnaby and Euseby Treen! Why! your worship! they know every hare’s form in Luddington-field better than their own beds, and as well pretty nigh as any wench’s in the parish.”

      Then turned he with jocular scoff unto Joseph Carnaby, thus accosting him, whom his shirt, being made stiffer than usual for the occasion, rubbed and frayed,—

      “Ay, Joseph! smoothen and soothe thy collar-piece again and again! Hark ye! I know what smock that was knavishly cut from.”

      Master Silas rose up in high choler, and said unto Sir Thomas,—

      “Sir! do not listen to that lewd reviler; I wager ten groats I prove him to be wrong in his scent. Joseph Carnaby is righteous and discreet.”

      William Shakspeare.

      “By daylight and before the parson. Bears and boars are tame creatures, and discreet, in the sunshine and after dinner.”

      Euseby Treen.

      “I do know his down-goings and uprisings.”

      William Shakspeare.

      “The man and his wife are one, saith holy Scripture.”

      Euseby Treen.

      “A sober-paced and rigid man, if such there be. Few keep Lent like unto him.”

      William Shakspeare.

      “I warrant him, both lent and stolen.”

      Sir Thomas.

      “Peace and silence! Now, Joseph Carnaby, do thou depose on particulars.”

      Joseph Carnaby.

      “May it please your worship! I was returning from Hampton upon Allhallowmas eve, between the hours of ten and eleven at night, in company with Master Euseby Treen; and when we came to the bottom of Mickle Meadow, we heard several men in discourse. I plucked Euseby Treen by the doublet, and whispered in his ear, ‘Euseby! Euseby! let us slink along in the shadow of the elms and willows.’”

      Euseby Treen.

      “Willows and elm-trees were the words.”

      William Shakspeare.

      “See, your worship! what discordances! They cannot agree in their own story.”

      Sir Silas.

      “The same thing, the same thing, in the main.”

      William Shakspeare.

      “By less differences than this estates have been lost, hearts broken, and England, our country, filled with homeless, helpless, destitute orphans. I protest against it.”

      Sir Silas.

      “Protest, indeed! He talks as if he were a member of the House of Lords. They alone can protest.”

      Sir Thomas.

      “Your attorney may object, not protest, before the lord judge.

      “Proceed you, Joseph Carnaby.”

      Joseph Carnaby.

      “In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees, then—”

      William Shakspeare.

      “No hints, no conspiracies! Keep to your own story, man, and do not borrow his.”

      Sir Silas.

      “I overrule the objection. Nothing can be more futile and frivolous.”

      William Shakspeare.

      “So learned a magistrate as your worship will surely do me justice by hearing me attentively. I am young; nevertheless, having more than one year written in the office of an attorney, and having heard and listened to many discourses and questions on law, I cannot but remember the heavy fine inflicted on a gentleman of this county who committed a poor man to prison for being in possession of a hare, it being proved that the hare was in his possession, and not he in the hare’s.”

      Sir Silas.

      “Synonymous term! synonymous term!”

      Sir Thomas.

      “In what term sayest thou was it? I do not remember the case.”

      Sir Silas.

      “Mere quibble mere equivocation! Jesuitical! Jesuitical!”

      William Shakspeare.

      “It would be Jesuitical, Sir Silas, if it dragged the law by its perversions to the side of oppression and cruelty. The order of Jesuits, I fear, is as numerous as its tenets are lax and comprehensive. I am sorry to see their frocks flounced with English serge.”

      Sir Silas.

      “I don’t understand thee, viper!”

      Sir Thomas.

      “Cease thou, Will Shakspeare! Know thy place. And do thou, Joseph Carnaby, take up again the thread of thy testimony.”

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