The Man-at-Arms; or, Henry De Cerons. Volumes I and II. G. P. R. James

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СКАЧАТЬ words were galling enough, but I struggled hard to keep down the demon of pride--a demon which had endured enough, surely, to quell him in my heart.

      I therefore replied at once, "My father's wishes, my lord, I am perfectly aware, can be no law to you. To me, however, they would be a law, even did not my own inclinations second them. It is my determination, therefore--"

      "Hush, hush!" said the good clergyman; "hush, my dear Henry. Do not speak of your determination; but leave it to your cousin to take into consideration the motives that you have mentioned."

      "Leave him to his own obstinate folly, La Tour," replied my cousin, turning from me. "I have told him all that I will do. I have made him what may well be considered a noble offer. I give him till to-morrow to think of it; and, if he do not accept it, then I will drive him from my door like an ungrateful hound, and send him forth a beggar to the fate he deserves."

      Thus saying, he turned and abruptly quitted the hall; while I remained, as may well be conceived, fully determined never to eat bread again at the expense of such a man. I remained thoughtful and silent for a moment, while La Tour gazed with interest and anxiety in my face, and at last asked me, "What do you intend to do, Henry?"

      "To keep my resolution, excellent friend," I replied. "You cannot suppose that such words as I have heard can at all shake my purpose."

      "But consider, my dear boy," replied the clergyman, "you are utterly without means of support. I fear, Henry, that you do not know how little is to be gained in the barren field of war; and, at all events, you will be obliged at first to support yourself till you can receive pay."

      "It matters not, my good friend," I replied; "I should lose my own esteem for ever--my heart would have no strength to struggle with the world, if I let this man set his foot upon it again."

      The clergyman said nothing more to change my purpose, for he saw that it was unchangeable; but he answered, "At all events, then, Henry, take what little gold I have. I need it not, my boy; and I always have the means of support. You will not mind taking it from me."

      "I will not take it all," I replied, kissing his hand; "but, to show you how willingly I can bend my pride to depend upon one that loves me, I will take twenty gold crowns from you, and that shall be the fortune with which I go forth into the world. I have, indeed, nearly treble that sum in my own chamber; but that belongs to a man from whom I will take nothing, so that you shall give it to him to-morrow after I am gone."

      "Do you go early, then?" demanded the clergyman, looking anxiously upon me.

      "As early as possible," I replied; and he then told me that he would bring the money to my little room.

      Thither I now turned my steps, and the good clergyman soon followed. He gave me the sum I had agreed to take from his little store, and pressed upon me more, which I would not accept. He sought also to persuade me that I had every right to keep the money which the baron had allowed me; but on that score my mind was made up, and I would hear no arguments.

      A long conversation then ensued, and La Tour added many wise counsels and noble precepts to many which had gone before. I treasured them in my mind; and, if I have not always followed them exactly in the strife of passion and the assault of temptation, at all events, everything that has been good in my conduct or estimable in my character, I owe, first, to the sweet influence of her who so tenderly cultivated my youth, and, next, to the counsels and exhortations of that good man.

      It was nearly one o'clock in the morning when he left me, and then I sat down to consider what should be my next step.

      What were the baron's habits now, I knew not; but him I was resolved to see no more. All the rest of the family, however, were generally up not long after daybreak; and, if I remained, I knew that there must be a bitter parting both with Louise and with the boys; most likely, an angry parting also with the baron; and, perhaps, the pain of seeing the expression of his childrens' love for me, call down his wrath upon them. I thought of it all, and determined to suffer alone, as far as might be.

      I made all my preparations in haste; took with me a few jewels and trinkets, which I inherited from my mother, and those the baroness had given me; packed up the necessary clothes which I intended to carry away; destroyed many a memorial of the place and its inhabitants, which I did not choose to have exposed to the harsh eyes of the baron, or the impure ones of his new wife; and, only preserving some little things in the handwriting of poor Louise, I prepared to take my departure for ever from the dwelling which I had so long inhabited.

      As I stood upon the threshold, intending to waken one of the grooms, whom I had chosen, at the time the baron had last visited the castle, to attend upon me, having occasion for some one to carry my valise to the next cabaret, a thousand recollections of the place, sweet, and happy, and affectionate, crowded upon my heart; a thousand gloomy images of the future rose up before my eyes; Hope hung down her torch, as if its light had been extinguished; and memory strove to bind me to that past from which I was tearing myself away.

      I looked round the little room which I had inhabited, and every object that my eye fell upon acquired an interest that it had never acquired before. The dreams of childhood, the thoughts of other years, the figures of some long gone, came back in crowds, and tenanted the apartment; and my heart would have broken if I had not wept.

      My tears were quickly dried, however; and I went to wake the boy, and tell him of my purpose. I found him in so sound a sleep that I could hardly wake him; and, after he was roused, he gazed round him stupidly for a moment, as if he did not well comprehend what I meant. The next instant, however, he sprang up with alacrity and cast on his clothes. We went together to bring the valise from my room, and then waiting till we heard the guard (for we were still in a state of war) going round to the front gate, we descended quietly by the little staircase, and passed through the court.

      As all the military arrangements in the castle had been, for the last two years, in my hands alone, the gates were thrown open at my first word. The men looked surprised, it is true: but they did not presume to ask any questions, or to make any observations, at least in my hearing; and, issuing out of the chateau about two in the morning, I stood upon Blancford Lea, prepared to seek my future fortunes with my own hand.

      There were still some sad feelings in my heart which would not be driven forth; but, nevertheless, I struggled hard against them, and the natural hopefulness of youth was beginning to do its part, so far, at least, that I could find some sources of consolation in the aspect of the world around me. The moon was just going down, appearing large and red through a light haze upon the edge of the horizon. The stars overhead were light, but they were far, far distant, seeming to my fancy like some of the bright imaginations of early youth, brilliant, but unattainable. I looked to the eastern sky, however; and, there upon the very edge of the horizon, was a faint glimmering light, the first announcement of the distant dawning. There seemed to me to be hope and promise in that very sight.

      "I may be covered with darkness and night," I said to myself, "but the day will certainly come at length: and, whether it be fair or bad, it too will pass away."

      It is the nature of man to trust in auguries; they have been found in the flight of birds or in the entrails of the sacrifice. Let me find promises or threatenings in the various aspects of nature, where the hand of the Almighty has marked his will; and, in the course of one train of events, has often pointed out what must be the course of another.

      As I walked along, I did what few young men on their outset in life think fit to do. I considered deliberately and carefully what was to be the general tone of my demeanour, what the general plan of my conduct in the path that lay before me. I considered how I stood towards the world СКАЧАТЬ