The Scheme of Things. Lester Del Rey

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СКАЧАТЬ were Buddhists, I think. I remember standing outside our hut for hours, afraid I would miss the man. Then I came and I was the only one there. He was incredibly old but he wore only a light robe. Still, he did not seem to be in the least uncomfortable. He got off his horse and put his hand on my head. He asked me where the others were and I said I would get them. But he shook his head and spoke cryptically. ‘Let the virgins sleep,” he said. ‘You alone have waited.’ He continued to look into my eyes and I remember that I was tremendously uplifted. Then he said, ‘Your life here is but a moment, my son. You will go many places and see many things.’ Then he got back on his horse and left.”

      “Who was he? You should remember whom you were expecting. It was part of the phenomenon.”

      “A holy man. From India, I think.”

      Paul Bender pondered that. “I don’t know what an Indian mystic would be doing in Outer Mongolia—or why he would have been speaking in Christian parables. Did that incident frighten you?”

      “Not to any great extent. I put it down as a dream.”

      “Perhaps you had more faith in those days. You said there were others.”

      “Once when I was in my mid-twenties—about seven years ago—I was riding a jet to San Francisco. I was rushing to my mother’s death bed. When the plane put down, a limousine was waiting for me. The family chauffeur drove me to where my family lived—in Oakland. It was a beautiful mansion. I’d spent my childhood there. I rushed inside and upstairs and I was too late. My mother had died half an hour earlier.”

      “Tragic,” Paul Bender commented.

      “I never saw her. After that one, I wasn’t so much frightened as saddened. I wondered what my mother had looked like; if she in any way resembled my true mother.”

      “Is your mother dead? Your true mother?”

      “She died when I was twelve years old.”

      Bender waved the stem of his pipe toward the liquor cabinet. “Your glass is empty.” While Mike refilled it, Bender said, “It appears that none of these incidents hinges in any way upon the others.”

      “I could have lived in San Francisco and still married an actress named Vera Spain.”

      “What was your name in San Francisco?”

      “I don’t know—nor in any of the other incidents. My name was never spoken. I suppose I knew it at the time. But I can’t remember now.”

      “You could hardly have done any backtracking in Outer Mongolia, but San Francisco was different. Did you do any checking to see if—?”

      “I was living in New York City at the time and funds were a little short. But the next year I made a trip West. I went to San Francisco—to the airport—and tried to retrace the route in a cab. I wasn’t very successful. I landed in a decent enough neighborhood, but there were no estates, no mansions. I had to give up.”

      “All right,” Paul Bender said. “Your first incident was long ago. Over seven years have elapsed since the last one. That would put the next one years into the future. So why are you so upset about this one?”

      “A feeling I have. I’m sure they will come thicker and faster now. It’s as though—well, as though something has finally slipped. I—this one scares me, Paul.” Paul Bender studied his friend keenly. “You’re afraid you’re going out of your mind, is that it?”

      “It panics me to think I may be losing control over myself. I’m afraid of what might happen.”

      “You should be able to control your fears. You’re a mature, educated man. And I take it there’s no history of insanity in your family.”

      “None whatever.”

      “Then if I were you, I wouldn’t look upon myself as either a freak or a person out of step with the rest of the world. Just keep your affairs to yourself and see what happens.”

      “Do you think they are just hallucinations of some kind?”

      “I haven’t the least idea. But look at it this way. Perhaps what’s happening to you happens to everyone. Maybe you’re just a rare specimen with the ability to carry memories of other lives back and forth with you.”

      “That’s beyond all concept of—”

      “What’s the difference!” Paul Bender snorted. “We’re nothing more than countless miniscules of awareness—sparks flashing off some vast conscious reality we know nothing about. We’re under the absolute control of awareness and unawareness. We walk between them as though they were two great walls. And they both terrify us for opposite reasons. We fear one because we know it and the other because we don’t know it. Our name for God is Mystery.”

      “You’ve never indicated much of a religious leaning,” Mike said slowly.

      “Nevertheless, I’m deeply religious. We’re all parts of a great and infinite Force and that Power knows what it’s doing. So why don’t you have another drink and stop wasting time by being afraid of God?”

      The scotch had had a mellowing effect and Mike was beginning to appreciate Paul Bender’s wisdom although he couldn’t quite put his finger upon anything of great value that Bender had imparted. But at least Bender appeared to understand and that was a comfort.

      “Have you told Donna any of this?” Bender asked.

      “Good lord, no. She’d put her guard up every time I came around.”

      “You don’t seem to have much faith in her.”

      “She’s a beautiful girl. She’s popular. She doesn’t have to waste her time on kooks.”

      “Also, you don’t seem to have much faith in yourself.”

      Paul Bender was putting an edge on Mike’s temper. “For God’s sake, quit bugging me!”

      “You could do with a little prodding at times. I’ve noticed a distinct inversion in you. And being a bully at heart, I enjoy it.”

      Mike was scowling at his empty glass. “What if these phenomena increase? Suppose they begin to have longer duration? Then the time might come when I can’t return.”

      “In that case,” Paul Bender said, “let me wish you success in finding a pleasant existence.”

      Mike raised his eyes to study his friend. “Nothing I told you seemed to surprise you in the least. Have you had previous experience with this sort of thing?”

      “I’ve met men who claimed the ability to go from one plane to another at will. But I never necessarily believed they could do it. In fact I’ve never had any definite proof that any inhabitable planes other than this one actually exist. That puts you at an advantage. You do have proof.”

      “Suppose this had happened to you?”

      “I’d consider myself most fortunate. And I’d probably give up this Chair and spend all my time traveling from one plane to the other.”

      “I guess you СКАЧАТЬ