The Art of Living Chinese Proverbs and Wisdom. Hong Yingming

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       71. To speak well nine out of ten times will not necessarily attract praise but to speak badly once will be considered a crime; nine out of ten schemes may succeed but there may be no approval, let one scheme fail and criticism will be rife. Hence the gentleman should be silent rather than loquacious and clumsy rather than agile.

      In the theory of the making of tubs, the heights of the staves that make up the tub are not all the same and it is the shortest stave that determines how much water the tub will hold. Life is confusing and jealousies abound. People do not look at the long staves in a tub but concentrate on the short one. People will not praise you for your many successes but will, in ceaseless criticism, concentrate their gaze on your defects and shortcomings. The gentleman of cultivation must be careful in speech and action and avoid rash impetuosity on the basis of a moment’s pleasure, thereby providing a hook upon which others may hang their criticism.

       72. In the weather of this world, warmth brings life and cold kills. Thus, it is that those of a frigid disposition are equally cold in their enjoyment; only the kind and warmhearted will enjoy abundant happiness and long-lasting favor.

      In dealing with the world one should treat others with the warmth and splendor of spring and summer to give them warmth and hope, rather than treat them with the cold desolation of autumn and winter to bring them destruction, fear, and despair. The Confucian classic Mengzi says: “Those that love their fellow men will always be loved in return, those that respect their fellow men will always be respected in return.” Those that love gain a return of love, those that spread happiness will gather it. To hold love in oneself and to love and respect others will garner their love and respect for you.

       73. The path of heavenly principle is broad, travel but a little way along it and one feels its vast magnificence; the track of man’s desire is narrow, set out upon it and it is all brambles and mud.

      Zhu Xi (1130–1200), the great neo-Confucian philosopher of the Rationalist School of the Song dynasty, considered that the ideal moral state involved the elimination of selfish desire and the opening of the mind to the expression of its original radiantly pure moral integrity. This proposition became the banner of the Confucian ideal of the cultivation of mind and body. To indulge in selfish desire and to allow the intellect to be blinded by lust is to set out on a narrow, dangerous path of no return. One can only sigh at the fact that from the past to the present so few people have been visible on the path of heavenly principle while the path of desire is so crowded.

       74. Hardship and joy both temper one’s character, practice to the utmost and happiness will be long-lasting; doubt and belief constitute the process of enquiry, enquire to the utmost and the wisdom acquired will be both true and pure.

      Life is not all sunlight and warmth; there is wind and rain as well. Only a baptism of wind and rain can consolidate true and long-lasting happiness. It is the same principle with study and scholarship. Texts must be believed and acknowledged but they must also be doubted and questioned. An acceptable truth can only be achieved through the discovery that the intellectual propositions will stand up to rigorous scholarly scrutiny. Otherwise, “It is better to be without books than to believe in them absolutely.” Where is the interest in blind belief and superficial knowledge?

       75. The mind must be unoccupied and tranquil to accommodate learning, but solid to resist material desire.