ABU. To Be Who You Are. A. Manvayler
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Название: ABU. To Be Who You Are
Автор: A. Manvayler
Издательство: Издательские решения
Жанр: Современная русская литература
isbn: 9785449634016
isbn:
Each day spent with Abu I perceived as the entire life. When he used to forget to shave for a few days I called him my hedgehog from “Hedgehog in the Fog”, and he corrected me laughing: “I’m a porcupine.” And we remembered a story when in some Goan cafe after lunch Abu asked me: “How did you like the porcupine? Was it tasty?” Now I can’t say even what I ate then. I always loved to bite my Abu a bit like a dark chocolate. He liked my wild caress and I worshipped not only his soul and mind, but also his body. Feeling exhausted after our amatory exertions we continued our conversation:
– So was the porcupine tasty? You have tried his meat.
– I like everything with you, absolutely everything without exception.
– Do you know why Abu Sufiyan had converted to Islam? He just didn’t like pork. He was a Muslim ksatriy. And in Russia, you like lard as well as bear meat, moose and horse meat.” Abu teased me. And what will be next, Abusha? Cannibalism? Maybe you’re hungry?
– I’m hungryonly about you. Do you know another Abu? Abu Bakar, Mohammed’s disciple and companion. He said, that- God is a woman.
– No, you’re the first Abu I know. Even not the first but the only one. And, you know, sometimes I really feel like a cannibal, like those aborigenes from the Hawaiian islands who ate the Captain Cook, by the way exactly on 14th February 1779, St. Valentine’s day. You’re my alive feast.
And we were laughing and biting each other like puppies.
– Thanks, Alona, you’re my most mysterious manuscript. It’s a challenge for me myself to decipher you. I’m grateful to you for that gift. “Kuskus” in Russian means “kusat’” (to bite)?
– “Kuskus” is not a Russian word, it’s a name of the dish made of semolina and wheat cereals. I tried kuskus in Morocco, Tunis and Italy. And “kusat’” (to bite) is a Russian verb.
And we went to a restaurant for dinner, both really feeling hungry after all that conversation.
Abu was really easy to connect and talk to. He treated any meeting like a friends gathering. It was only because of his own positive attitude and the goodwill toward humans. He had a high degree of confidence in people. Abu was trusting, accommodating, comforting and the easiest man to deal with. And he always left only positive impression. He made others happy, and that made himself even happier. Emotions are contagious. He never was worried about anything, he knew that any anxiety is just wasting of energy and time, and the same was true for taking life with all its problems too seriously. “Alona, why you have to worry about that? Most of your today problems you will hardly remember in a couple of years. And even if you do, you can unintentionally hurt yourself.” He made it easier for me, and I felt good getting another grade of joy from my man’s wisdom.
I was glad for my previous experience and thankful that many lessons we had already digested in our past and separately from each other. Our family was that perfect example where a couple prepared for a relationship before the relationship. Surely all of us have different fates. Someone is able to acquire all necessary knowledge before the fateful meeting, and others have to obtain it together through thick and thin. Sometimes you have to win your happiness back from the fate. We all need time to become mature. Mature for each other. Many are afraid of a breakup, but the level of fear to bring closer is even greater. But we always have to choose the lesser of two evils. Each step towards each other pushes the limits, dissolves your ego, arouses your fear. The weak ones are tended to pull back, stepping backwards or hiding in safety they were used to. But we were already mature, experienced and were not afraid of our love. We had already learned through the self-discovery, how to allow another come closer.
“Love is not passion, love is not emotions. Love is a very profound understanding of the fact that another completes you. The presence of another expands your own presence. Love gives you the freedom to be yourself, it has nothing to do with possessiveness.” Osho.
Sometimes it happened that someone called Abu and he passed the phone to me as if something important had happened. I took it naively, and after had to listen to Hindi music on the voicemail. He always liked to play jokes on me. Like a little girl, I would run after him to catch, punched his chest and arms with my small fists. and our bodies merged. The question of irritation or complaints on Vodafone obtrusive customer service was left back. Abu made a game of everything, was tolerant of any invasion into our private life. We didn’t want children, it was too late already, but Abu made jokes even about that: “If we had kids, they would be zebras.” And before I asked “why?” he already gave an answer: “Because you’re fair, and I’m dark-skinned.” And we laughed again and played horsey, riding each other.
At some point I was beginning to think that I became to understand the way the world works, people and, in particular, men’s emotions, what principles communication rests on, how people interact with the cosmos and it with them, in return, and many other things. It was as if existence itself through India, through Abu revealed to me the new immense knowledge, the new layer of reality. It was like a new birth for me, and I started from scratch. Enlightenment came. Many issues were resolved themselves and others just ceased to arise as if it would be a normal thing. This steady powerful current, the flow of life and incidents. The new age of awareness came to me. Finally, I was there where I wished to be. The chronic anxiety of Russian went away. My confidence in the future in all its brightness and cloudlessness replaced all past worries. It was a golden age of my life. The positive thinking worked as if I was a little kid who is not afraid of anything, but only knows how to be amazed and charmed by this incredible world around.
Clive Lewis wrote: “Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again.”
And I read fairy tales aloud, for Abu. It turned out, that exactly stories creating for children are much more meaningful than meets the eye. In each of them, I used to discover something new, unknown, filled with different even more profound meaning. I kept on learning English buying children’s books already of a new level, not “Beginner” but “Elementary”. That was a progress! I was reading them aloud for Abu, and he fixed me and laughed from the heart at my German accent. Especially the word “fact” once made him so much laugh that he fell down on the bed with laughter. But it was a wonderful time for both of us, we learned together, Abu – through teaching and me – through learning. This pure magic unwittingly reflected on our ordinary life too, as together with the language learning we learned to live together going through the adjustment period. All in all, it was a fantastic time of fairy tales.
Abu could and was fond of cooking, and in this subject, he also became my master. Our lessons always were full of fun and joy. One day standing with a hot pot in the hands with steam pouring out of it Abu asked me to pass him “fry pan”. I was in total information vacuum regarding this
unknown word. Trying desperately to please him I began opening the doors of the kitchen cabinets realizing that I had to give him something but WHAT exactly I couldn’t imagine. Every time I turned back to him frightened and offered either a ladle or a strainer. Finally, the luck was smiling on me and I took out the frying pan. Abu sighed solemnly: “Yesss, my darling!” After that, we had some kind of a fun- filled extravaganza. You must admit, that not so often you can find a word “fry pan” СКАЧАТЬ