Surrender To Love. Rosemary Rogers

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СКАЧАТЬ there! Potential he had helped to nurture and had hoped to see realized some day if only…Well, what was the point in thinking about it now? His doctors had decreed otherwise, and mortal man cannot circumvent fate. So be it! At least he had been able to arrange that she’d always have enough money, so that she need never have to feel herself obligated to sell herself on the marriage market, even when Freddy inherited. Beyond that, his greatest hope was that when she was ready she would find the right kind of man for her—one she could converse with, who would appreciate her intelligent mind and free spirit and love her for what she was and not for what he thought he could make her into.

      Sentimental old fool! You can only do the best you can and hope for the rest; and since you won’t be around to see how it turns out in the end, there’s no use worrying about it, is there? Clearing his throat fiercely, Sir John relit his cigar and dragged on it far too deeply, forgetting his doctor’s orders. Even though he had chosen an exceptionally mild one, it made him cough, and he swore inwardly. When he looked up at last after his coughing fit had ended, Sir John realized with disgust that his butler was hovering over him while pretending to rearrange everything on the silver tray in an ostentatiously significant manner that obviously called for comment.

      “Well?” Sir John grumbled testily. “And what the devil d’you think you’re up to, fiddling about like that? If you’ve anything to say to me, be out with it!”

      Velu, who had run his master’s house in Colombo for over fifteen years, merely turned down the corners of his mouth with a look of patent disapproval.

      “I hear doctor say only half cigar, and much better Master take no cigar!” And then, noting indications of an imminent explosion, Velu went on hastily and with some relish, “But I come to tell Master that it is better, maybe, that Master retire to Study Room with door locked? Ladies make many arguments and the big lady is very angry. With mouth open like this…”

      Velu’s imitation of Mrs. Langford actually left speechless for a change tempted Sir John to chuckle, and he was not able to compose his features quickly enough to prevent the sharp-eyed Velu from noticing his mouth twitch before he said drily: “I see. And I won’t ask you how many times you invented excuses to go in there, you old rascal, but I’m sure you didn’t miss anything, did you, eh? What of the young ladies?”

      “Ah…” Velu rolled his eyes with pretended concern. “Big lady’s young missy crying and our missy Alex she smile but speaking sharp like knife. Good thing she have no knife or gun or maybe I think big lady be dead! Too bad!”

      “I won’t ask how that last pithy statement was meant to be taken,” Sir John said after he had cleared his throat loudly to cover his involuntary chortle. He added thoughtfully, “But I suppose you are right in suggesting that I’d do well to take myself off to my study, where I have urgent correspondence to deal with and must on no account be disturbed.”

      As Velu sprang to pull back his chair, Sir John reflected with a grim kind of amusement that this was certainly the first time anyone could have accused him of running away from a battlefield. But under the circumstances, and in view of his decided partiality, there could be no question that in this case at least discretion was most definitely the better part of valor.

      “Oh, and Velu…” Settled before his desk with the open French doors bringing in the night-smells of dew-wet grass and frangipani and jasmine, Sir John held up one hand to halt his servant. “If by some chance you might have reason to visit the drawing room—perhaps to ask if the ladies need anything before they retire—you might just say a few words to Miss Alexa in your tongue, perhaps a mumbled undertone. You’re good at that when you imagine you’ve something to grumble about, eh? Tell her…The devil take it! Just make sure she’s not about to lose her temper and start throwing things, you hear? You might move my Ming vases out of there. That ought to give her a hint. Tell her those were my orders and she’ll understand very well what I meant. That’s all. And since I might go outside for a stroll later on, I don’t want you sitting up for half the night either. That clear? You’re getting to be an old man too. Hah!”

      Poor faithful old Velu! He’d be getting a pension, of course, and enough money to buy himself that land in Jaffna he’d always wanted, as well as a young wife to give him children before it was too late. Too late…You spent your time and energy accumulating money and possessions and forgot why you were doing so in the process, until suddenly it was too late to enjoy their use and you saw them for what they were—more clutter and things to leave behind when you had to go.

      No, dammit! Sir John slammed down the glass he had been holding and began to pace about the large, shelf-lined room as he usually did when he was deep in thought. Dammit, he thought again, I haven’t gone yet! Still got some time left to me if all those doctor chaps were right and if I don’t overdo things. Time enough, perhaps to make sure it wasn’t all for nothing after all, not just wasted! Made use of—enjoyed. That’s what money was for, and possessions. And why the deuce should the Crown get any of it, anyhow?

      11

      By the time Sir John had stopped his pacing back and forth, Alexa had already regained the comparative sanctuary of her bedchamber, although she had had to spend several minutes leaning with her back against the door she had slammed shut behind her before she managed to catch her breath. These silly, tight corsets she was supposed to wear in order to be fashionable…And that even more ridiculous woman who reminded her of an ugly old crow with her taste for carrion…!

      Oh! How dearly I should have loved to indulge myself by flying into a simply towering rage, when I might really have said or done something quite outrageous. How I would have loved to see their faces then! Why, if Velu hadn’t appeared…

      Even in the midst of thinking such dark thoughts Alexa’s sense of humor interrupted for long enough to make her start to grin unwillingly. For she had been eying one of poor Uncle John’s precious Ming vases consideringly when Velu had sidled in to remove them, muttering what sounded like incantations under his breath until she understood that instead of praying to his Hindu gods he was trying to warn her. Something like “lose mind, lose all,” which may or may not have been an old Tamil proverb. But at any rate Velu had been just in time to prevent an outright disaster, which would have ended, Alexa thought ruefully, in her being sent home in disgrace—even if it hadn’t been at all her fault.

      Thinking back to her confrontation with Mrs. Langford made Alexa scowl all over again, and the nervous ayah Velu had sent to her to help her undress became even more nervous, so that her fingers fumbled over their task at first—until she realized that “Alex missy’s” glowering look was not meant for her.

      Charlotte, Alexa was thinking, was merely a nasty little gossip and a tattletale who didn’t like to be ignored, as well as being her mama’s very echo. But Mrs. Langford…! Alexa’s lips curled in a most unpleasant way as she recalled how Mrs. Langford had started out with her condescending, hypocritical little speech that was meant to put Miss Howard in her place while exalting Miss Charlotte Langford as an example she should try to model herself after. Snatches of that speech flashed back into Alexa’s memory now, together with the mind-picture of Charlotte sitting next to her with modestly bent head, trying hard not to preen herself.

      “My dear Miss Howard. Although I have hesitated before, my sense of duty forces me to speak out now; and I do hope you will take some well-meant advice from a mother with a daughter close to your age in the spirit in which it is intended. A few pertinent words of caution from someone older and more mature who is used to moving about in Society and much more aware of the dangers and pitfalls that await one too inexperienced and too impetuous…Guidance of the young is so necessary; that and constant, loving supervision…”

      While Alexa listened almost СКАЧАТЬ